I am from my dads house quiet, still and peaceful
I 'm from my moms house where it is loud but reassuring and safe
I'm from accidents in cars where over and over again mom gettin spooked or dad yelling
I'm from a small place out of state, but this state is beautiful with all the trees and the mountains
I'm from a semi-peaceful place and I love it
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
The main critique is 'show don't tell'. I think there's a writing article on here with this example on it:
"Don't tell me the moon is out, show me the light reflecting in the glass"
#FF0000 ">
The third line didn't make sense, nor did you use proper grammar.
#FF0080 ">The fourth line you tried to add*;) description but it came off as dull. Add more interesting words, and describe the ways the trees blow in the wind as opposed to there just being trees.
#000080 ">Your last line shows that you are from one place while you clearly state that you are from more then. Then again, you could be making a remark on the world as your home. If this is the case, elaborate and add some imagery.
Keep writing, kat.
cool