Persephone silently trailed behind her husband, Hades, as he stopped in front of a pair of double doors leading to the throne room. As King and Queen of the Underworld, it was Hades' and Persephone's duty to oversee the arrival of incoming souls. Every day was the monotonous routine of sitting on a hard, cold throne, greeting the dead souls and listening to their complaints and moaning about the injustice of being separated from loved ones. To Persephone, staring at each soul was like staring at a mirror image of her own, grieving for the life ripped away from her.
However, there was one thing she did not regret about their marriage. Persephone gazed at her daughter, Althea, in her arms, and the frigid exterior coating her heart melted. Hades insisted that she leave Althea with his servants, but Persephone stubbornly refused. She could never bring herself to leave her daughter with his skeletal servants. Hades reluctantly relented, as it was the only way Persephone would accompany him.
By the time Persephone and Hades entered the throne room, it was filled with a mob of despairing souls. When the crowd saw the King and Queen, they parted, creating a narrow aisle for Persephone and Hades to walk through. Some souls tried to reach out towards Persephone, knowing that she was the merciful one. Persephone cringed as she felt ethereal hands tugging on her robes. Instinctively, she pressed Althea closer to her heart, and the small child burrowed her face into her mother’s chest.
One persistent spirit clung to Persephone more than Althea. Persephone tried to disentangle herself from the phantom, but it held fast.
“Please, Queen Persephone!” the spirit pleaded. “I don’t belong here. I left behind a child as young as yours.”
A chorus of angry voices chimed in, becoming an indistinct jumble of protests. Persephone stared desperately at Hades for help. Unfazed, he sashayed to his throne and regally sat. Persephone perched on the edge of her seat, relieved to have a safe distance between the souls and the dais. The whispers became subdued as the crowd of souls stared at Hades expectantly. He regarded them with a look that commanded nothing but obedience.
Hades called one spirit forward and commanded the rest to form a single file line. Aversely, the souls complied, making one line that wrapped around the e circular chamber. Normally, Persephone never paid attention to the souls that spoke to Hades, but when she noticed it was the spirit that had grabbed her clothes, an involuntary shudder rippled down her spine.
“Come forward,” Hades ordered.
The ghost obeyed and stared at him with sorrowful eyes that shimmered with tears.
“Please, Lord Hades, send me back. I should not be here. I should be back on Earth with my family, with the daughter I left behind with no one to care for.”
The soul’s voice quavered, and the tears she had been trying to fight back began to fall. Persephone’s heart constricted when she stared at the shattered look on the mortal’s face. She saw her own reflection in those heartbroken eyes. However, the mortal’s words had little to no impact on Hades; his face was a stony mask of indifference.
“I am sorry,” he replied unemotionally, “but no one can leave the Underworld or enter it. There is nothing I can do.”
The spirit stared at him with melancholy as Persephone watched it drift away. The air in the room was almost palpable with desolation that Persephone could practically taste it. The aura of death and loss made her shudder. Instead of staring at the souls, she let her gaze wander around the room. She could not stop her eyes from falling on the massive tapestry of her wedding. Her heartbeat accelerated every time she stared at the portrait of herself wearing a bridal robe standing beside Hades, with one burly arm wrapped around her waist and his gaze locked on hers.
Persephone started thinking about her former life on Earth. If she closed her eyes she could almost feel sunlight warming her cheeks, hear the laugher of her nymph friends, and see her mother’s smiling expression. Though she opened her eyes, all she saw was the face of her captor. A wave of reminiscence washed over her, and a loud sigh escaped her lips.
Hades noticed and swung his head in her direction, staring at her in what appeared to be concern. Persephone cringed when she felt his icy fingers brush against hers. She tried to pull away, but he grasped her hand.
“What troubles my Queen?” he asked. She tried to look away, but his tempestuous gaze fixated on her.
“Nothing,” Persephone replied, suppressing the second sigh forcing its way through her lips.
“Persephone,” Hades breathed. “If I didn’t care, why would I ask?”
She stared silently at her hands folded in her lap. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Hades broke it by sliding his hand under her chin, forcing her to stare into his depthless gray eyes. Something inside of Persephone shattered, and a film of tears blurred her vision. The droplets fell, carving a path down her cheek. Hades gently wiped them away with his thumb.
“You really want to know what’s wrong?” she asked in a shaky voice. Hades nodded.
Persephone sighed before blurting out, “I want to see my mother, and Althea is one and still has never met her grandmother.”
The tension in Hades’ shoulders relaxed, and he replied cautiously, “Dearest, it’s only a few months until spring time. You only have to wait a few more months before you can leave the Underworld and return to Earth. Can’t you wait a bit longer?”
Persephone looked away but not before Hades saw her unhappy expression.
Hades sat unmoving, letting his wife’s words sink in. He did not understand why it was important for Althea to meet Demeter. Hades preferred not to mingle with the Olympians, especially his mother-in-law. All Demeter did was criticize him, and she never forgave him for stealing Persephone from her. The Underworld was the only place he could escape her “helpful suggestions.”
He turned to look at Persephone, noticing the small glimmer of hope shining in her bright eyes.
“Demeter cannot come here, and Althea cannot leave the Underworld. The law of the Fates clearly states that anyone who has eaten food from the Underworld is bound to it.”
He stared at her pointedly.
“I can leave the Underworld once a year,” Persephone countered, “so why can’t my daughter do the same?”
Hades inwardly winced when he noticed she said “my daughter” instead of “our daughter.”
“That is true,” he agreed. “However she is a child of darkness, heir to the Underworld. She has never been a part of the Upperworld, so she cannot cross boundaries between the two realms. You are the only exception.”
A fire ignited in Persephone’s eyes, and Hades knew she would not yield.
“She should be able to experience life on Earth, where there is sunlight. No one should be forced to live in this sunless place,” she added quietly before staring at her sleeping daughter.
Hades knew she was not talking about Althea anymore. He was aware that Persephone still resented him for whisking her away from her old life. No amount of explaining that he was lonesome and detached from the rest of the world could justify his actions, at least not to her. Instead of trying to vindicate his motives, he decided to go with the three simplest words he could say.
“I love you.”
Persephone tried not to cringe when she heard those dreaded words. She knew he wanted her to say those words back, but she could not force herself to feel something she could not. Instead, she just turned her head.
“I know you don’t believe me,” he continued softly, “but I love you, and I love Althea.”
Persephone nodded, not knowing what to say in response. “If you love me then what harm is there in letting my mother visit? Maybe we could have her over for dinner-”
“No,” Hades interrupted, a frown settling on his face. “I already told you; Demeter cannot come.” He gave her a warning stare that said “end of discussion.”
Persephone felt her face heat up with anger. “For once could you do something for someone beside yourself?” Her voice shook with fury as her eyes brimmed with livid tears. Hades stared at her in shock.
“You claim you love me, but everything you’ve done for ‘our relationship’ has really been for your own benefit. That’s the reason I’m here in the first place. You took me away from my own life and forced me-”
{Her voice broke in the middle of the unfinished sentence. Hades knew what she had wanted to say was that he had forced her to have a child before she had been ready. Staring at their daughter, he immediately felt remorseful for his selfishness. His wife deserved better.
Before he could open his mouth to say something, Persephone yelled, “You never do anything to make me happy. Is it too much to ask to allow my mother to meet her granddaughter?”
Without waiting for a reply, Persephone stormed out of the room, her skirts swirling around her angrily.
Hades found Persephone sitting on a bench in the courtyard. Her head was bent and a long curtain of hair covered her face, so he could not see her expression. When she heard his footsteps, she stared up at him. He noticed her eyes were rimmed with red and her cheeks were tear-streaked.
“Persephone?” he questioned tenderly. “May I talk to you?”
“What do you want, Hades?” she replied indifferently.
Hades crossed the courtyard, slowly closing in the distance between them. He took a seat on the opposite side of the bench, careful to keep a comfortable space separating them.
“You were right. I’ve been selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings, and I’m sorry. That is why I am going to invite Demeter over for a dinner so she can meet our daughter. When Hermes comes to bring the new souls here, I will tell him to send a message to Demeter.”
Persephone stared at him, frozen in shock. “You really mean it?” she asked softly.
He nodded. “Yes, I do. If it will make you happy, then it shall be done.”
Slowly, a smile decorated Persephone’s mouth. Hades’ heart skipped a beat when he saw her grin. It was the first genuine smile he had seen in months, and he wished time could freeze, just so he could stare at her glittering smile forever.
Leaping from the bench, Persephone strode to where Hades sat and threw her arms his neck. Startled, Hades tentatively wrapped his arms around her waist. In a moment consumed by excitement, Persephone did the unspeakable; she kissed him. Hades’ mouth tingled when Persephone’s lips brushed against his.
I should do this more often, Hades thought. Even putting up with Demeter was worth it if it meant Persephone would kiss him without recoiling.
“Thank you,” she simply stated.
Hades said nothing; he was too focused on the warm feeling of her embrace. A second later, Persephone gently pulled away, and Hades reluctantly released her. Hades watched as Persephone glided away, a bounce in her footstep he had never seen before.
Hey Bluewaterlily,
First off, this caught my eye because I love Greek mythology. I think you wrote this beautifully. Your style of writing has a majestic feel to it and it seemed really pretty to read. I liked your description of the area and the souls - although that was pretty brief. I think you developed the two characters well even though it was only a short story and I understood the message about loving your child and wanting what is best for them.
But, I do agree with Omniyus. Although it was brilliantly written and had a slight message in there, I feel more like it was a fairytale without a moral. I haven't learned anything more from reading it which does make it seem a little plain.
But I loved your style and am eager to read more of your works in the future!
Deanie x
Here to review!!
I don't have much time, so I have to make this short.
I will grade you in two categories, with many unamed subcategories, each suited with the story I am reviewing: Grammar and Storyline.
Grammar. To be honest, I didn't see anything wrong with this in grammar besides one or two words that are misspelled.
I give this story 4 out of 5 on grammar (I would do 10 rating but I am low on time)
Storyline: This is moving, but somewhat boring and serves no goal in storyline. It is very well written, but it doesn't interest me as much as if there were some action and not so much quoting. Don't get me wrong, this is very good, but in my opinion, I didn't like it much.
I give this storyline a 3.5 out of 5, just because I am torn between loving how it is written and falling asleep because of so much talking.
This is a very good story, but please have more action instead of talking.
Hope this helped, Omniyus.
Hi, Omnon I don't know if I ever thanked you for the review but even five years later, it's still very helpful. Out of curiosity by too much talking did you mean too much dialogue or too much description/telling and not enough showing?
Thanks,
Lily
So, looking back on it (gosh, 2012 me was so weird what is this review) I belieeeeve what I was trying to say was that a lot of exposition is spilled out in the dialogue. It feels like Persephone and Hades explain the entire situation through a short bit of dialogue and it gets resolved also through dialogue. I would recommend expanding this more, let the problem gain traction through looks or snide comments or something, instead of it all being explained, brought to a boiling point, and consequently resolved, within a few paragraphs of dialogue.
Does that make sense?
Also, I apologize for how rude that review was, good lord. "falling asleep because of so much talking" wowo I was meeeean. If you want, I could do another review on this? One that would probably help you more than the measly review above.