This is her life story

I actually don't like this poem, but you never know, someone else might.
Once again, even if it's just to say it's crap, write a comment please
Thanks
~blue~ :D
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
This is her story,
though not much has happened you can say.
There wasn't much of a difference from day to day.
Pretty much the same old story,
she had nothing better to do,
but think of the one thing that made her life better,
she would sit and think of you.

This is her life story
though it's not very long you could say.
She only lived fifteen years,
three months and a day,
pretty much the same old story,
she didn't know what to do,
she didn't know how to live her life,
an empty life without you.

This is her life story
though it's very depressing you can say.
about a girl who, without love,
thought suicide was the only way.
Pretty much the same old story,
took a lethal dose of pills,
thought death could cure all life's problems,
thought it could cure all life's ills.

This is her life story,
you don't want to hear it, you could say.
Who wants to hear another girls story,
to hear about another girls pain,
pretty much the same old story, no one cared for her enough,
now in a grave her life lays wasted,
remember this, she died for love.

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
bluecows
Comment

I stopped writing since i started going out with my boyfriend but maybe i will start again, you never know :wink:

Oh yeah, thanks for the correction on the typo, my spellings terrible :oops:

This is her story,
though not much has happened you can say.
There wasn't much of a difference from day to day.
Pretty much the same old story,
she had nothing better to do,
but think of the one thing that made her life better,
she would sit and think of you. - AWW!

This is her life story
though it's not very long you could say.
She only lived fifteen years,
three months and a day,
pretty much the same old story,
she didn't know what to do,
she didn't know how to live her life,
an empty life without you.

This is her life story
though it's very depressing you can say.
about a girl who, without love,
thought suicide was the only way.
Pretty much the same old story,
took a leathel dose of pills, - "lethal"
thought death could cure all life's problems,
thought it could cure all life's ills.

This is her life story,
you dont want to hear it, you could say.
Who wants to hear another girls story,
to hear about another girls pain,
pretty much the same old story, no one cared for her enough,
now in a grave her life lays wasted,
remember this, she died for love.


WOW.
This poem owns all poems that dare challenge its awesome-ness.
So sweet. I wanna cry!
She died for love.. the same old story..
which is sort of sad because it does happen a lot.
AWW. Sorry, this isn't much of a critique.
But I loved this poem so much!
KEEP WRITING!

User avatar
bluecows
Comment

*blushes* Thanks

~blue~ :D

P.S. you should join the weirdly coloured animal club in the randomness section

User avatar
Green Monkey
Review

Your piece shows skill and quality.

"This is her story,
though not much has happened you can say.
There wasn't much of a difference from day to day.
Pretty much the same old story,
she had nothing better to do,
but think of the one thing that made her life better,
she would sit and think of you. "
This is the best part, the beginning. You really set your poem off good with this. And you also keep the rhyming GOOD and CONSTANT. I think thats what makes this poem so good.



We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself.
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer