Published March 12, 2008
Tread lightly when you talk to her
measure out your words
as obsessively as she measures out each morsel
129 calories she’s eaten today
She knows,
she's counting.
Don't ever mention her weight
approval is encouragement
as is disgust
Don't ever mention food
she'll only use it to remind herself why she doesn't eat
she doesn't want to look like us
Talk about perfection
she knows all about that
each day the scales bring her one step closer
on her impossible pursuit
Talk about sacrifice and suffering
she knows about that
runs a marathon each week
crosses herself when presented with milkshake
like a sinner at confession
Talk about dying
she knows what that’s about
dying to be gorgeous
dying to be thin
dying to purge herself of evil fleshy sin
Tread lightly when you talk to her
measure out your words
she's dying to be beautiful
but beauty really hurts
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,258 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
i really like this.
my only couple of nitpicks is that you do more telling than showing. my favorite lines are your first.
and your last two lines just need to be chucked. they don't do the poem justice. if you feel they MUST be there, use then as the title of the poem, but putting them at the end of it ruins the repetition you had.
good job.
This is amazing. I had a friend once, with anorexia, and this is almost exactly how I felt to watch her suffer. Great job.
i Liked that, it was really good. It (let me think of a good way to phrase this) was amazing. It really showed the truth of an eating disorder if that is what you want to call it. For people that are fed up with people killing them-self's so they can be "perfect" raise up their hands and say "amen". Goodjob.
aww thanks
anorexia actually but theres still a lot of similarities in their attitudes towards food
Wow. This is really good. About a girl with bulimia, right? This flows really well, has a point, and has repitition (which is something I really love). Please continue to write poetry, because your work is really really good.
Yeah it was, this poem didn't feel or look right with lots of punctuation in it so I only put those two bits in
I liked this a lot, it flowed so well!
Loved this.
There was only one comma and one period in the entire poem. Was that intentional?
Great job!!!
-Sometimes-