Published December 19, 2014
Why can’t I make I make my mouth work?
It’s like superglue worked its way into
My gums and I can only breathe through my nose and
I have a really shitty cold.
But it’s a feeling I know, and I have learned to stop
Asking questions about the functionality of my throat
Because my emotions work like a snare,
The minute one shows up,
My mouth snaps shut.
And prying it open takes time.
And skills and hands older than mine.
But that’s fine.
Sometimes I like only being able to listen.
And people who know me will put up with it.
For a time.
But eventually they will leave.
I know, because you can only watch grass grow
For so long.
Because you can’t see the frenzy of activity going on inside,
The effort expended by that one blade of grass to survive.
So I suppose its like an equation.
It takes x amount of hours until u stop caring.
There is no infinite lines here, all of these hours are
Enclosed within the limitations of human patience
And I know yours is running low.
So I am just waiting.
Waiting to see how long until
You give up on me.
Maybe its because I want you to.
Maybe it would be easier for me if you just stopped caring
Because if you stop caring, I can stop breathing.
Without worry that I might steal
Any air from your precious lungs
If I am being honest,
That’s the biggest fear.
Not the pills or the spills of liquor down cracked lips,
Or red split wrists.
I’m scared for you. My mom, my friends, my lover who hasn’t happened yet.
I never wanted to see you hurt.
I never wanted to be the one who makes you cry
But mom, sweetie, baby, on the bad days
the only thing stronger than my will to live
Is my will to die.
So mom, friends, lover who hasn’t happened yet,
I will try, to break through apoxy sealed lips,
Find therapy in the words that I forgot I had the right to use,
Sad, upset, lonely. And I will try.
But should I fail, I love you, please forgive me.
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Canary word: Present
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141,312 Literary Works • 674,341 Reviews
Hi
I'm Wey and as soon as I saw this was meant to be a spoken word poem, I knew I had to read and review it. I LOVE spoken word poetry 
So lets dive in!
It has an amazing start. Spoken word always needs that little bit of objectification and analysis of simple things to get the reader into the flow and emotion of the piece. You really did well there, because I was hooked at this line: "I have learned to stop Asking questions about the functionality of my throat". To me, that part is just perfect. I don't know what it is about it, but at that moment I knew it was going to be an amazing piece before I had even got halfway. Well done
It got REALLY good after that. I LOVE your word choice, combining specific words in close proximity like "snare" followed by "snapped" which is then followed by "prying" and it just works so well. Plus that out-of-the-blue three line rhyme scheme "time" "mine" and "fine" is heart-stoppingly perfect
I like how it gradually turns from specific items like blades of grass and equations to your emotions about this one person, and how you idolise them by using these absolutely applause-worthy lines:
"Because if you stop caring, I can stop breathing.
Without worry that I might steal
Any air from your precious lungs.
If I am being honest,
That’s the biggest fear."
After I read those lines, I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to stand up and clap, I wanted to throw a parade, I wanted to find you and give you the world's biggest hug! That might sound odd because those lines are quite dark, brooding and very, very sad and longingful, but in a sense of poetry, that is just perfection to me. Well done once again
Now, moving on to the self-harm/suicide themed ending to this piece. This is a great crescendo to the poem, and I like how it's almost written out like a will. Addressing the people in your life, and making it your apology to them (great link to the title, keeping everything relevant is important). I like the line "the only thing stronger than my will to live is my will to die" as it hits hard, and shows the reality of the poem. I love how at the very end, you ask for forgiveness from the ones you love. It shows how no matter how bad things get, even through death, family and loved ones will stay constant no matter what.
This is a mind-blowingly amazing poem. Please, please, PLEASE keep writing more of the same, it's some of the best spoken word i've ever read/heard (if you count mr reading it out loud as hearing it how it's meant to be interpreted, which is probably wrong). To me, this rivals the work of even Neil Hilborn, who I regard to be the greatest spoken word poet of all time. If you haven't heard of him, youtube search him and be prepared to be blown away.
Best of luck in performing this and writing more, keep it up!
Wey
Hey there, I'm a CL4P-TP general purpose robot manufactured by the Hyperion Corporation and I am here to do this review! But you can call me Gundalf, for the duration of the review!!
I noticed in one of the line you used "u" instead of "you" I believe this needs to be fixed also maybe make it so every line doesn't start with a new capital letter, other then that it looks good!!
Keep up the good work!
I once started a revolution myself. There were lots of guns and a lot of dying. You'd think I would have gotten some better benefits out of the whole thing but no, demoted back to door-opening servitude!