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The Living Room

by blueberrry


I had lived in that house for ages, alone. I couldn’t even remember the last time there was someone else in here. But that didn’t bother me. In fact, I quite enjoyed it. It was quiet around the house. There weren’t many people in the neighborhood, and even the few people who lived in the houses around mine never bothered me. At least, that’s what I thought.

I was sitting on the living room couch when I heard car doors slamming shut. I went over to the window and pulled back the curtains. Sure enough, there was a large moving truck parked in my driveway.

My driveway.

I wasn’t expecting anyone. In fact, I hadn’t expected anyone for years. I rushed over to see who it was. Through the peephole, I saw a man and a woman. Guests! Oh no. I hadn't cleaned up the house at all. I looked around the room. There wasn’t much other than a TV, a rectangular wooden coffee table, and my treasured light green couch. The only problem was that there was a thick layer of dust on all the furniture, and the place was full of spiderwebs. Well, there was nothing I could do about that now. The door opened, and in stepped the man and the woman.

“Hello!” I greeted them.

“Well, this place surely needs some work,” the woman stated.

“Excuse me?”

The woman never replied. Instead, she walked over to the living room couch and winced.

“That couch has got to go,” she said.

I stood, shocked at the fact that this woman had the audacity to walk into my home and say such things.

“You and your ugly floral shirt have got to go,” I shot back, feeling protective.

Glancing back outside at the truck, I realized that these weren’t guests at all. They were intruders. And they were here to take my home!

For hours, I looked on in horror as the man and the woman unloaded cardboard moving boxes out of the truck, and into my house. Darkness fell, and the two of them were still bringing more and more boxes inside.

“Please leave,” I asked.

But even after saying those words multiple times, they still didn’t pay me any attention.

“Hello? Am I invisible to you guys, or what?”

I decided to sit back and wait for them to finish bringing in all the boxes.

By the end of the day, I could barely see the floor through all the boxes. I thought that once they had brought everything inside, they would leave, but instead, they started opening the boxes and unpacking all their stuff.

“Hey! What are you doing?!”

I had to stop the man from opening the nearest box.

“Stop!” I yelled.

I rushed over to push the man away, but I fell past him, falling to the ground. I must have tripped. I quickly got back up and stood in front of him. As I suspected, he couldn’t see me. The man leaned over to take something out of the box, and as he did, I put my hand out to stop him. I expected him to pause, but instead, I saw my hand go right through his shoulder.

I froze, shocked. The man continued unpacking, unaware of what had just happened. I blinked, confused. I tried to stop to man again, but the same thing happened, as if I didn’t even exist. I took a deep breath and stepped forward.

I walked right through the man.

But the fact that I could walk through people wasn’t going to solve anything. The man was busy placing a fancy new lamp on my coffee table, oblivious to my dilemma. I looked on in horror as he flipped the switch. I stepped back as light flooded through the room. It took me a moment to adjust to the light, and when I finally did, I was furious.

The woman walked by me to pick up another box, and as she was next to me, I yelled as loud as I could.

“LEAVE!”

The woman placed the box back down and looked at the man.

“Did you hear something?” She asked.

The man looked up.

“No, why?”

“I thought I heard a voice,” she replied.

Of course you did, it was me! I wanted to scream. But instead, the man shook his head and laughed.

“Oh Karyn, you must be hearing things,” he said.

“I wasn’t joking,” she muttered.

Yes, yes! She could hear me! This was great news!

But the man just shook his head. The woman shrugged and started taking out all sorts of other belongings.

No. I wasn’t going to just stand there and let these intruders take over my house.

“GET OUT!!!” I screamed with all my might.

On the far wall, one of my paintings swung, and fell onto the floor with a loud thud.

The man and the woman suddenly stopped unpacking and stood up, staring at the place on the wall where the painting used to be.

“Well, I definitely heard that,” the man stated, clearly unsure of what just happened.

Honestly, I was too, but I wasn’t going to just let these people stay here uninvited. If they weren’t getting the hint that I was asking them to leave politely, I would simply make them leave myself.

That’s when I had an idea. I was going to use my one advantage. If they really couldn’t see me, this would scare them right out of their minds.

I walked over to the lamp that they placed on my wooden coffee table and flipped the light switch. Darkness flooded back into the room, and I smiled. Much better. The man and woman looked at each other in shock, and I laughed at their confused faces.

I then went over to the door and slowly opened it. A strong gust of wind blew through and swung the door wide open.

“You didn’t leave the door open by accident, did you?” The woman asked the man, her voice quivering.

“I’m sure it just didn’t close properly,” the man replied, his voice steady. But his expression said something else.

I, however, could not contain my laughter.

As the last part of my plan, I went over to the window and stepped behind the curtains. I then took a giant step forward, towards the people in my living room. The curtains made my shape visible to the man and the woman. Through the thin fabric, I saw them as their eyes widened.

“You know, on second thought,” the man said, shaking. “We don’t need to live here,” he glanced at the door.

“Right,” responded the woman without turning her head. “Let’s just, leave. Now.”

I watched as they backed away to the door, turned around, and ran out. The last thing I heard was the car starting up, and the screech of tires as my two unwanted visitors sped away.

I walked over and closed the door, then turned back to my living room, still packed with boxes. I smiled. Now I had my house back, all to myself. I went over to the couch and sat down. The house was finally quiet, and there was no one around. It was a good experience, but not one I’d like to repeat, even if I got a new lamp and a bunch of other stuff out of it.

After all, life might not be so bad as a ghost.


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Fri Mar 18, 2022 5:10 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This was certainly a new sort of story. I haven't read a lot of stories from the perspective of ghosts, so this was something new to me. Anyway, to the review. First of all, the title. Okay, the title was a good one. That being said, you could always go for more creative ones. I guess I tend to be very repetitive about this particular thing xD.

I really liked the beginning. The use of the word 'ages' really made me wonder about what is going to happen and why the person is literally living there for ages. But then it turned out that the character was actually a ghost. Good job on creating the suspense in the minds of the readers from the first.

Talking about the plot and the characters, I really liked the uniqueness in them. I liked how you broke the stereotype of injecting horror in all stories involving ghosts. The ghost kind of seems to be like a normal introvert human being. It doesn't like any disturbance in its peaceful life. From the story, I think the ghost is quite young, at least the thoughts of the ghost do seem to belong to a young person. There are a few things which I would like to tell about the character. One generally becomes a ghost after death. I would really love to know a bit of backstory about the time when the character died. It can bw included in the first paragraph when you were reflecting on their general life. It's indeed a bit weird that the ghost doesn't know anything about being a ghost. Like I do understand that the ghost has not met anyone after their death but it seems awkward. The plot too was quite good. Despite having those so called horror elements, there wasn't a little bit of horror in the entire story. I really loved that.

Onto the specifics now:

The woman never replied.

I think it's better to write didn't reply than never replied. Never replied doesn't fit here and also doesn't go with the meaning.
For hours, I looked on in horror as the man and the woman unloaded cardboard moving boxes out of the truck, and into my house

I guess you wanted to be specific by saying "cardboard moving boxes" but I think it's pretty okay to say "moving boxes". It sounds better, at least to me.
Please leave,” I asked

I was a bit confused here. Did the person say it politely? I mean considering the condition of the ghost, they were not in the condition to be very polite. Maybe put an exclamation mark at the end.

Two other things:
1)You can use italics to indicate the thoughts of a character. Otherwise it messes up with the story ans you don't understand what is happening when.
2)The darkness thing. I am not sure if thw ghost can see in the darkness but a human can't. Likw when you say darkness flooded in,we normally understand that it's completely dark. However in the darkness too, you described a lot of visual things assuming the humans can see in darkness. I was a bit confused there.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




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Mon Jan 10, 2022 2:45 pm
Horisun wrote a review...



Hello, and welcome to the Young Writers Society! I hope you are having a good day or night!
This was a really cool concept for the short story! I liked seeing things from the ghosts perspective, and I loved how you slowly introduced classic horror movie cliches! Furthermore, the fact that the ghost didn’t seem to realize what it was all the way until the end was pretty neat. That touch of existential dread really tied the whole thing together, lol.
I did have a few small suggestions;
When it comes to dialogue tags (She yelled, he laughed, they cried) don’t be afraid to use “said” Despite all that public schools have taught us, it is not, in fact, dead. Though this is mostly subjective, said is a word like any other, and as long as you use it in moderation, it will make your writing flow a lot better.
Also don’t be afraid to not use dialogue tags at all, in some lines. Sometimes it isn’t necessary for the reader to understand what you mean! Also adding variance to where you add dialogue tags can be very helpful, (“Hey, how are you?” They asked, “Hey,” They asked, “How are you?” And, They asked, “Hey, how are you?”) which can all convey a different tone, depending on what you’re going for.
One last small nitpick, I would recommend not using multiple exclamation or question marks as you do in the line “Get out!!!” A different dialogue tag, or simple context clues can convey the same meaning without using internet speech, and taking your reader out of the story.
Of course, most of the things I’ve mentioned here are just things that bug me personally as a reader. I still would consider some of which I said, but in the end, it’s entirely up to you! This was a fantastic short story! Keep on writing, and have a wonderful day! :D




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Mon Jan 10, 2022 5:31 am
Jamesies wrote a review...



woahhh this story was amazing. I love the way it never clearly states the main character is a ghost until the end of the story even though it is very obvious to the reader throughout the entire thing. though one thing I'm not sure is if the main character themself knows they are a ghost.

Up until the main character gets the idea to scare them off I was under the impression that the main character did not know that they, themself, were a ghost. I drew this assumption from the confusion encountered when the man and woman could not hear or see the ghost despite the ghost's desperate attempts to get their attention.

After the ghost gets the idea to scare them off, my assumption switched to that the main character knew they were a ghost, as they messed with the two by switching off the lamp, opening the door, and revealing its shape in the curtains, and the last sentence "After all life might not be so bad as a ghost." since it is written in first person it makes me think the main character knows they are a ghost. this confusion may just be me.

Overall, I love this story, I felt sympathy for the ghost as they were disrupted by the two and the dread the ghost felt when they were not able to get them to leave (before it came up with the plan to scare them off), And I felt the joy of its triumph when it was finally able to scare off the two, I think the emotions in this story are conveyed very well, not too much time is spent describing the emotions the ghost felt but the actions that were taken by the ghost displayed them just as well. The dialogue in it is also very well done, it doesn't feel unnatural or forced as if someone had come up with the conversation quickly, it seems realistic, like the reactions and words people in this situation would genuinely use, when I read over the story it seems to flow out so naturally, that makes it enjoyable to read. I never lost interest in reading it, I was able to read it without getting distracted by something else, or another tab I have open on my computer, which happens way too often. I like the idea in general too, I have seen many things similar, but nothing is done in a fashion like this, and honestly, I like it a lot better than Ideas similar to this that I have seen before. you have a lot of talent, and I look forward to reading whatever else you may end up writing.





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