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Here and Now

by blah8ink

Designed by a greater breather who breathes better than me I find that being is made. Because being is made I am thus, here for a moment to turn to dust. Yet, I am. Yet, I have become something of the extraordinary because I became.


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41 Reviews

Points: 3706
Reviews: 41

Mon Jan 16, 2023 3:32 am
HalfheartedAmateur wrote a review...

It's an intriguing short lyrical poem which you must've thought of a genius concept/idea and tried to write about it, but it is you who can only comprehend this succinct yet intricate literacy. Like the other commenters/reviewers in the past, I don't wholeheartedly understand this literacy. But because of that, I think there are numerous of interpretations that readers can comprehensively analyze. Its flawed imperfections create the beauty of the creation. Similar to this rough but solid literacy, I think I know the gist of what you're portraying within these words and overall of your objective, but that idea/concept is more than words can be properly woven together and written. Thank you for sharing this written work with us.

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45 Reviews

Points: 148
Reviews: 45

Mon Dec 28, 2020 1:10 am
yumi says...

Loved the poem start to finish on a line by line basis, but not entirely sure what it all adds up to? I would love to see this fleshed out a little more.
Sounds beautiful, but looks unappealing, as if it were a few hastily written lines. You might get more reactions with a more traditional poetry format.

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200 Reviews

Points: 8895
Reviews: 200

Thu Dec 24, 2020 7:35 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...

Hi! I hope you are having a really nice day! I really enjoyed reading your lyrics. You are a lovely writer, so thank you so much for sharing!

I’m not sure what your intentions were behind the lyrics, but I was definitely able to connect to it in my own personal way. That’s one thing you did very well, you provide a way for everyone to connect the the lyrics. The meaning begins them coy,d be different for every single person who reads them.

I love your choice of words. The repetition helps it a lot and helps it flow a lot more smoothly. Thank you so much for sharing your work! I would love to read and review more if ever want me to. I hope that you keep writing! Have a wonderful day and Merry Christmas and happy new year!

Sincerely, Ailah.

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32 Reviews

Points: 1346
Reviews: 32

Sat Nov 28, 2020 7:13 pm
penngreen4776 wrote a review...

Heya! I'm penn, and welcome! You're bound to have some fun times here.

And, I'll be honest here, I have no idea what's going on. And I like that, strangely enough. It is very confusing to read, so like Horisun said, separating the lines into stanzas would work wonders for understanding it better.

That being said, while I have no way of understanding this piece myself, I really like the way it's worded. It's a very interesting poem, one that almost reads like an expressionist piece, or something that is very alike an abstract painting. Of course, if that wasn't what you were going for, then you can ignore me on that front.

In short, fun read, would read again! A thumbs up!

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460 Reviews

Points: 7326
Reviews: 460

Fri Nov 27, 2020 4:35 am
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Horisun wrote a review...

Hello there! Welcome to they Young Writers Society! I hope you love it just as much as I have!
I just wanna say, there are some really interesting lines here. One that really caught my eye was "Here for a moment to turn to dust" That was incredible.
However, I would like to comment that this might work better as a short poem. I had to reread it a couple times to catch the full meaning. Try separating it into stanzas, and see how it looks!
Other than that, this was considerably short, so with nothing else to comment on, I'll see you next time! Keep on writing, and have a fantastic day!

Your hesitation suggests you are trying to protect my feelings. However, since I have none, I would prefer you to be honest. An artist's growth depends upon accurate feedback.
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