Published November 3, 2007
As I stand, rooted to the floor
I feel great oceans of water
begin to rise up in me.
It rushes forth as I see your form
slowly drifting away
into the darkness.
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140,916 Literary Works • 673,736 Reviews
I enjoyed your poem. It was short but very good. Keep on writing.
A bit short but very nice.
You could add a few extra lines you know, so that it makes a better picture of what you really want to say.
It's short but sweet
Since I am no expert at poetry, I have nothing constructive to say...
But I really liked this line:
It rushes forth as I see your form
For some reason, it reminds me of a small, silver waterfall. And I like the way it sounds.
Congrats and good job,
Ayra