Oceans Rise

by blackstorm

Published November 3, 2007

As I stand, rooted to the floor
I feel great oceans of water
begin to rise up in me.
It rushes forth as I see your form
slowly drifting away
into the darkness.

Comments & reviews · 3
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sleuthchick
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sleuthchick commented Comment · Nov 3, 2007

I enjoyed your poem. It was short but very good. Keep on writing.

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Someguy
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Someguy commented Comment · Nov 3, 2007

A bit short but very nice.
You could add a few extra lines you know, so that it makes a better picture of what you really want to say.

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Wolf
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Wolf wrote a review Review · Nov 3, 2007

It's short but sweet :D
Since I am no expert at poetry, I have nothing constructive to say...:oops:
But I really liked this line:
It rushes forth as I see your form
For some reason, it reminds me of a small, silver waterfall. And I like the way it sounds.
Congrats and good job,
Ayra



Edna began to feel like one who awakens gradually out of a dream, a delicious, grotesque, impossible dream, to feel again the realities pressing into her soul.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening