perhaps

I am loving this site more and more so many talented writers. Most people may find the repetition annoying but I find it good. The writer is questioning every core belief he has built throughout his or her life. The beginning line is powerful and holds a powerful place, " perhaps happiness is not as fleeting as I once thought it was. Most emotions are actually fleeting happiness or sadness, happiness hangs around more than sadness. The poem is both optimistic and pessimistic and plays on both sides. I believe the author's life is going through some turbulence and I believe in my heart life is happy

Hi!
This poem is so amazing. I love all of it, but especially how the first line is bolded, because it emphasizes the theme of the poem itself, and it's the first thing you see.
"Perhaps happiness is not as fleeting as I once thought it was."
The line is so powerful and hopeful. I think it was a really great choice to put it in bold.
Also, I like how you used 'perhaps' at the start of every line. Of all the words that could be used to substitute it, I think 'perhaps' is the strongest. It's more optimistic than 'maybe', say, so it adds that much to the poem.
Personally, I'm not bothered by the lack of capitalization. I don't know if you did it on purpose, but I feel like it's giving proof to why you can be you, and you can make mistakes and that's fine.
The only thing I would change is the period at the end. The periods kind of make it final and choppy, and I think commas would make it seem more open.
Of course, this is just an opinion, and you don't have to listen to anything I say.
This was just a really powerful poem, and it really helped me as a perfectionist, to know that it's okay to not just be right angles and straight lines.
-Rana Noodles

Hi. This poem is actually really inspiring and amazing. I use the word “amazing” a lot, but I am defnitely not using it in vain here. In this poem u had heart, soul, relatableness, and most importantly hope
We all go thru tough times one way or another and this is a really relateable poem. I wish I’d read this earlier tho cuz I was an emotional mess in middle school 😄

And ur beginning was literally perfect. Like POETRY GOALS dude... idk if that’s a thing, but if it is, then that is that. Wait. Idk what I’m saying anymore.

Anyways- The only slight critique I have is ur repeated use of “perhaps.” And honestly? It’s completely fine at the beginning but then ur lines got shorter and the poem read choppier. So maybe make all the lines abt the same length. (Except the last line, u can keep it the same)

Ofc this is just my opinion, feel free to do what u want! Either way it’s still a good poem

Anyways I have to go now

-Daria

This is one of the most true things that I have ever read. You described what it was like for me when I was trying to break down my walls, after living in a dark abyss thanks to anixty and depression. This makes me feel happier, and as if I am not alone. The best thing about your writing is the way you told it. You told how it felt in one of the simplest ways possible a poem, and I believe yours has found a way into my heart.