Hi there bkk99! Niteowl here to review.
Okay, so this is going to be part actual review, part advice, as I definitely have some personal experience with this topic.
As far as the writing itself goes, it's more of a blog entry than anything. I agree with the statement that bipolar and other "severe" mental illnesses aren't talked about as much as depression or anxiety, so I'd love to see this explored in more detail. Perhaps once you get some distance, you'll be able to incorporate more details in discussing your experiences, but I understand that's really hard when this is still raw.
The normal route is to go on mood stabilizers, and an antidepressant unless you are already on one, like I was.
This is somewhat incorrect. Standard antidepressants (e.g. Prozac or Zoloft) are actually not recommended for bipolar patients since they can trigger mania. There's another class of medicines, the atypical antipsychotics, that's usually paired with a mood stabilizer. That sounds kind of scary, but these are actually prescribed for a lot of things, not just psychotic symptoms. Granted, every case is different and some bipolar people do take SSRIs, so follow your doctor's advice.
But sitting here, in my college’s library, and calming myself down from the fear of failure now that I have this permanent diagnosis… it’s a lot to handle.
I like the personal detail here. Sitting in the library is a concrete thing the reader can tie the rest of the emotion into.
Okay, now onto the "wise old owl attempts to advise" portion: I have bipolar disorder type 1, first diagnosed via super-dramatic manic-psychotic episode when I was 20 (I'm now 29) that led to a two-week stay in the all-inclusive friendly neighborhood psych ward. I thought my life was over and I was never going to amount to anything. Long story short, I ended up graduating on time with honors, fumbled my way through grad school and a Master's degree, and am now the most stable and happy I've been in years. It wasn't easy, and there were definitely roadblocks along the way, but it's definitely better than the doom and gloom I was picturing. Personally, I'm so glad I got diagnosed when I did, as I still had family and school support I wouldn't have had if I'd gotten diagnosed later in life.
My pro tips:
-Find a good therapist and psychiatrist. Be honest and communicate with them. Since you're in school, they should have some services available or be able to refer you somewhere. Support groups can also be helpful, though I've had mixed results with them.
-Make self-care a priority as much as possible. Sometimes easier said than done, but ultimately, none of the other stuff will matter if your mental health takes a nosedive.
-Learn what triggers you and try to prepare for those situations. I know travel, group social events, and change like moving or a new job are big ones for me. Work with your therapist and support people to get through those tough times.
-It's easy to get obsessed with timelines and feeling like other people are doing so much better than you, but life is not a sprint. Sometimes I get stuck in feeling like I "should" have done this or that by now, and my therapist has to remind me that I have made progress compared to where I was one or two years ago.
-Have good support people around you, like family or close friends. People who won't judge you for having symptoms but that can be honest with you when things are getting worse.
-An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison (a psychiatrist who has bipolar) is a great read.
Okay, I've rambled long enough. I do hope things get better for you. Keep writing!
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