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The Man of the House - The Guardians Chapter 1

by bigsisfarmer


Thump.

“WHY ARE YOU LEAVING!?”

Thump.

“I TOLD YOU! IT”S WORK RELATED!!”

Thump.

“THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY EVERY TIME!”

Thump.

“WELL THIS TIME IT’S TRUE!!”

Thump.

“LIKE I'LL EVER BELIEVE THAT LIE AGAIN!”

Kennett Hogan sat on the edge of his bed. He threw a tennis ball against the wall, then caught it when it bounced back. He tried to pretend that he couldn’t hear his parents arguing, but he couldn’t stop their words from echoing in his head.

“KENNETT STOP THAT ANNOYING BANGING SOUND RIGHT NOW!” He heard his father yell from the living room.

Kennett didn’t respond, but instead threw the ball into the small blue trash can that was by his door. The trash can tootered from side to side, but luckily it didn’t fall over. Kennett fell onto his back, staring at the ceiling, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO MY SON LIKE THAT!” His mother screamed back.

“HE’S MY SON TOO! DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU WRETCHED WOMAN!”

“Tch.” Kennett couldn’t take this anymore. Fight. Fight. Fight. That’s all his parents did anymore. To be frank, it was getting on his nerves. He desperately wanted it to stop, and the fact that wouldn’t made his anger boil.

Kennett stood up, and shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts, he stormed into the living room. His parents didn’t notice him at first, they were way too busy fighting. He cleared his throat, gaining the attention of his parents. They both glanced at him, but then fixated their angry glares at each other once more. Kennett simply rolled his eyes, and stayed silent.

You could have heard a pin drop, if a pin could even drop, for the tension in the air was so thick, it was doubtful that anything cut through.

After what seemed like minutes of antagonizing silence, Kennett’s father sighed, running his hands through his bright red hair, which was the same exact color as Kennett’s. “Son I have to leave for work. I’ll probably be gone for awhile.”

Kennett’s mother scoffed.

“I AM! WHY WON’T YOU BELIEVE ME!?”

“BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO MAKE ME TRUST YOU!” Kennett’s mother retorted.

Kennett finally spoke. He kept his voice low, but it still held fiery anger. “Look,” He snapped. “I don’t care if you are leaving for work, or whatever disgusting thing that you may have planned.” His gaze somehow grew in intensity. “Just get out of my house, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of it.”

His father threw his hands in the air. “FINE!” He screamed. “It’s not like I care anyways.” He mumbled under his breath, but both Kennett and his mother could still hear him.

“Good. Now get out.”

His father went to go grab his suitcase, but not before taking his hand and knocking down a vase. With a crash, it shattered against the wood floor. Kennett glanced at his mother, who was trying to hold back her tears.

Kennett’s scowl grew even deeper. “What are you? A cat?” He lashed out. “Hurry up, and get out.”

His father stomped to the door, and Kennett followed. He watched as his father walked down the driveway. When his father opened the door to his car, Kennett called out. “And don’t you dare ever come back!”

With that, Kennett’s father left the Hogan house. Both Kennett and his mother hoped that it was for good. Kennett walked back into the living room. His mother and him locked eyes. The woman started to walk slowly towards Kennett.

“It’s going to be ok.” She whispered. “It’s going to be ok.” She repeated. She rushed forward, hugging her son tight. Kennett hugged his mother back.

They stood there for a few minutes, before his mother pulled away. “Ew” She scrunched up her nose, then forced herself to smile for her son’s sake. “Go and take a shower, you smell.” She teased him.

Kennett had just returned from his football practice, and hadn’t bothered to shower, let alone change his sweaty clothes. Needless to say, he smelled horrific. “Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled. “Just let me clean up all this glass.” He said, referring to the broken vase.

“Ok.” She faked another smile. “I’m going to go head to my room for a little bit.”

“Sounds good.”

Kennett went to the kitchen to grab a broom, dustpan, and a plastic bag. He began by picking up the the bigger glass shards scattered about. As he did so, he became lost in thought.

According to most people, mainly the girls, Kennett had pretty decent looks. He had his bright red hair, his height, and pretty decent muscles going for him. He was even part of the football team. If it wasn’t for his raging temper, he would probably be popular with the girls. All of them were absolutely terrified of Kennett’s eyes. They were the first thing that anyone noticed about him. They had a strange sort of intensity and passion. They looked constantly angry, almost as if they hated every single thing they saw.

“Ouch!” Kennett drew his hand. “Stupid vase.” He muttered under his breath. He looked at his hand which was now bleeding. He quickly finished cleaning up the vase, then wiped the blood off of his hand. For some reason simply seeing the blood on his hand made him even angrier.

Kennett decided that he would go and check on his mother. He couldn’t imagine what she must have been feeling. He snuck up to her bedroom door, and he couldn't help but hear crying coming from inside the bedroom. He quietly opened the door just a crack, and looked inside. He saw his mother on her knees. She was crying. I made Kennett furious.

“Oh Lord, please help me.” He barely heard her whisper, before closing his door and storming up to his bedroom.

When he got there, he kicked over his trash can in a fit of anger, sending it flying across the room into a wall. He didn’t bother picking up the trash that was not scattered on the floor, rather, he took off his shirt, and threw it into his laundry basket.

He stormed into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He refused to look in the mirror because of his uncanny resemblance to his father. Though, if he had summoned up the courage to look in the mirror, he would have noticed that his eyes were glowing a bright red. He even was too angry to notice that his cut from before had now healed. He did mumble one single sentence under his breath. “Guess I’m the man of the house now.”


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542 Reviews


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Wed Sep 04, 2019 6:10 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello my writing friend! FlamingPhoenix is here to drop off a review for you on this lovely day! And to help you make your work better, not that isn't not good anyway. But I did see a few things that could be pointed out.

Okay so here is the first one.

Kennett stood up, and showing his hands into the pockets of his shorts,

Okay so the two words in bold is what I would like to talk to you about. So first I don't think you need the and, it doesn't give the sentence the flow you are after. Also I'm sure you had a typo and showing should be shoving? I think it's a simple mistake anyone can make.

Okay then lets move onto the next one shall we.
He screamed. “It’s not like a care anyways.”

I think this one is also just a typo. I'm sure that A is supposed to me I. This is just the simple slip of the fingers while you are writing, I do it a lot.

Right last one.
When he got there, he kicked over his trash can in a fit or anger,

This is the same as the one before, I'm sure the or is supposed to be of.

Right that's all I could see in your story that needed to be fixed.
So this was a really good chapter, it's so much better than your last one, the plot seems to have moved along really fast, but for the moment it fit's it really well and I'm not confused.
the opening of the chapter chucked me right into the story, getting me hooked right from the start, and that made the story in my eyes so much better.
I could feel the emotion and anger being flung into this story when Kennett's mom and dad were fighting, it was so deep and I could feel everything. It was really well written.
Though I wasn't expecting Kennett to act the way he did, I thought he would have stayed in his room and leave them, but I guess you being the writer you always want to surprise up. XD So I was very shocked when he yelled at his Dad to get out of the house, gosh that was a very big shock.
Though the ending to this chapter was the biggest shock of them all, does Kennett have powers? If so what side of the family did he get it from. I have a few thoughts on that. I have a feeling he may have gotten his powers from his father, maybe his father is someone that is on a mission to find something that is threatening his home.
I have a feeling I might be wrong with this idea but this has got me thinking!

I'm glad I had the time to read and review your work, I hope I will get to see more of your works out on YWS soon, and I get to read the next chapter soon, you really have me hooked here and I can't help but wait for the next chapter. Keep writing and have a great day or night.

Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix!
Reviewing with a fiery passion!

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Wed Sep 04, 2019 5:31 am
EternalRain wrote a review...



Hi there!

This was a pretty eventful first chapter. The argument at the beginning was definitely captivating and kept me reading.

The scene at the end where Kennett peeks into his mother's room is really heartbreaking and I like how you showed us that little tidbit, just so we get to experience the feeling of his mother.

Kennett's interruption does seem a bit abrupt - which is fine, but there's no prior thought. It was a pretty impulsive decision. I think if you want Kennett to come across as an impulsive person (I'm guessing so, because he's got a temper) it would benefit from much more emotion tied to it. Kennett's just like "ok, there's only one thing to do" and as readers on a first chapter we're like "hold up??? what?". Maybe the rage about his father is boiling inside of Kennett.

Also, at the beginning, it comes across as both the parent's fault? But towards the end I get a very father-is-likely-abusive vibe which was definitely not emphasized in the beginning; it seemed more like parents fighting who really needed to get a divorce.

I really liked this last paragraph, though. It gets me curious about what's to come. So he's got some super-healing powers, which are always a plus. I wonder what his powers are - and what he's going to be using them for? (Assuming he has powers, haha). I also feel like his temper is going to be influenced by this a lot. I see a lot of room for Kennett to grow already, which is always a good place to start with a character!

I hope this helps you a bit! Happy Review Month!

~ EternalRain




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Wed Sep 04, 2019 1:31 am
Tuckster wrote a review...



Hey there bigisfarmer! Tuck here with a review :)

So first impressions, I really liked the beginning, of the argument interrupted by the thump of the tennis ball. Technically, since it's not dialogue, it shouldn't be in quotes. However, it did a good job of introducing the conflict, and I liked how you proceeded from there. It showed a lot of Kennett's personality that he exploded at his dad. The fact that he stood up for his mother endeared me to him. I know that I don't have enough information to properly judge the situation yet (which I think is good; you shouldn't show all your cards in the first chapter), but I think I'm falling more on her side.

One suggestion I have for you is where Kennet is cleaning up the shards of the vase, you dump some information on the reader without really a valid reason. Using his muse as an excuse to convey some information to the reader comes across as lazy writing. Instead, I would suggest that he perhaps see his reflection in the mirror and muse over how his angry eyes cause girls to steer clear of him, despite his well-defined muscles. That would be a more natural and less info-dumpy way to convey all of that information and wouldn't jolt the reader out of the storyline as much.

I also loved the foreshadowing at the end. It was subtle but still noticeable, and it definitely intrigued me. I have a lot of unanswered questions, but in a good way—the way that makes me want to keep reading instead of the way that makes me think that you haven't thought things through. This seems like a very well thought-out story, and I hope to be able to read more someday!

I hope all my comments were helpful, and if there's any other way I could help you or if you have any questions about my review, just let me know and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!

All my best,
Tuck




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Tue Sep 03, 2019 1:17 pm
bigsisfarmer says...



I hope you enjoy this chapter!

@FlamingPhoenix
@Horisun





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