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The Escape - The Guardians: Prologue

by bigsisfarmer


"When warriors are killed."

"When the Guardians are trapped."

"When all seems lost."

"The Great Dragon will roar in triumph, but not for long."

"Five great warriors will rise."

"With powers of Fire, Light, Water, Plant and Night"

"They will save mankind, they will save the earth, and they will save the dragons."

"The Dragon Knights will come....... They will come."

*_*

There is a far away place, one that is hidden to mankind, by some kind of mysterious magic. A place that is hidden by some powerful force. There, trapped for hundreds of years lies a dragon, one that was once called: The Great Dragon.

This dragon could easily destroy a skyscraper. He stood over fifty stories tall, his scales a dark red like blood in color, with tan underbelly scales. He had various battle scars covering his entire body, the most prominent being the one that covered his right eye. The eye itself, was a milky white, contrasting with the one on the left, which was a bright yellow in color.

The dragon stood in the mouth of an abnormally large cave inside a mountain. He cracked a toothy grin, chuckling to himself deep inside his throat, and let a few stray flames lick at the sides of his mouth. He appeared to be staring at the hundreds of egg shaped rocks that were scattered on the ground. These rocks were smooth, without any blemishes. All of them had intricate designs, and it was almost as though one could see a story written in these patterns. For now, what these rocks were is a mystery to mankind.

The dragon laughed, lowering his large head to address these strange rocks. “I knew that your magic would run out eventually.” The dragon lifted his head, and stepped over the strange rocks. He made his way outside of the cave, and then addressed the sky. He appeared to be insane. “You thought that you were better than me, that you were stronger than me, but unfortunately for you, your magic’s drained. It’s been so long, that I have probably faded into legends. Those pesky humans won’t even see what’s coming.”

The dragon scraped his claws along the rocky terrain. “Evil, vile humans,” he muttered. “They never change their ways. They have poisoned the sea, and the land, yet for some reason you allow them to remain, although they have killed almost all of our kind.” He grinned even wider. “But now, they will have no way to stop me, because they don’t even know how. Their weapons are useless, and those ‘so-called’ heros you plan to choose? They can’t stop me either.”

They dragon unfolded his gigantic wings. “Just face it, you’ve already lost.” With a few flaps of his wings, the dragon took off into the air.

The Great Dragon has escaped. 


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Points: 138
Reviews: 4

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Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:03 pm
Cyber_Cs says...



I agree with @Asith Its a really good prolouge the way you described it it was amazing. The colors i could almost taste. Yes i for some reason have the ability to taste some colors. crazy right? But any way, Its is great. Im following you so i can read the rest. Also I wouldnt put your best work on here or some one might steel it. Just for future notice. Its a great beging to a book. TTYL Cyber_Cs away.




bigsisfarmer says...


Aw thank you so much! Thanks for the advice as well, I don't plan to post my best work on here, I'm am just using this story to "hone" my skills as a writer per se. Just to get some feedback, and see what sort of things I need to pay attention to in the future. I'm really glad you enjoyed the prologue! The first chapter will be out soon, it's just going through its last editing stages.



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Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:02 pm
Cyber_Cs wrote a review...



I agree with @Asith Its a really good prolouge the way you described it it was amazing. The colors i could almost taste. Yes i for some reason have the ability to taste some colors. crazy right? But any way, Its is great. Im following you so i can read the rest. Also I wouldnt put your best work on here or some one might steel it. Just for future notice. Its a great beging to a book. TTYL Cyber_Cs away.




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Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:37 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely day, and to help get your work out the green room.

Okay lets get started.

So I only saw one problem out of this whole chapter. I'll show you.

The dragon lifted his head, and stepping over the rocks, walked outside.

So the words in bold are what I would like to talk about, so here I don't think what you have said here runs together really well, this sentence makes sens, but it needs to flow better, so between the comer and walked I feel like there should be an and there, or maybe change it up a little, or another one is you could take to walked out and say 'and headed outside.'
So I'm going to show you what it would sound like all together with the things I have suggested.
This is the one were I put in the and.
The dragon lifted his head, and stepping over the rocks, and walked outside.


This is the one were I said 'and headed outside.'
The dragon lifted his head, and stepping over the rocks, and headed outside.


you can used ether one of those, or you can change it up into something else with your own words, that is up to you.

Other than that I really like what you had head, it could be a really interesting story. I also thought it was a really cool idea to add in a prophesy in the begging, that added the really good suspense and wonder to the story, but also gives us something to look forward to later.
I'm also really liking your description, though you didn't say if the cave was dark or light, or if it was smelly, it's small things I'm even trying to add into my writing at the moment, so don't worry about it if you don't add it in right away.

Anyway that's all from me for now. I really like what you have here, it's off to a really good start and I look forward to the next chapter so if your tagging people I would LOVE to be tagged. I hope you will keep writing this story and post again on YWS soon, have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix!
Reviewing with a fiery passion!




bigsisfarmer says...


Thank you so much for reviewing! I really appreciate it! I fixed the error you mentioned, thank you so much for pointing it out! I'll make sure to tag you when I finish with the first chapter. It is going through it final editing stages, and it should be finished sometime next week!





Great I look forward to it!



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Sat Aug 17, 2019 8:10 am
Asith wrote a review...



Definitely a fair prologue! Seems like this could open up into a great story with a great premise. Personally, I'm excited to read one these types of stories but with the Dragon playing a more centric and characterised role.

I do feel like the motive for the Dragon thinking that humans are vile came across as a little forced. And a little cliche, I might add. Might be worth further developing.

A tiny bit of development regarding the era the story takes place in - regarding humans civilisation, mostly - might be in order. It seemed medieval at first, but the line "it's been so long that I have probably faded into legends" made me less sure. How long is so long?
That being said, it might also be better to leave this our for now and show it in later chapters - it all depends on the story you have planned, I suppose.

The line "if any normal human being watched, they would have assumed that he was insane" irks me. As per the context of your own story, if any human normal human being watched this scene, surely their first instinct would be to be surprised at the fact that the Great Dragon is even real, not make assumptions on his sanity?

I enjoyed your general writing style throughout. You do a fine job at describing scenes that I can picture in my mind.

Just a few short points for the short prologue :)
Can't wait to read the actual story!




bigsisfarmer says...


Thank you for reviewing my story! I appreciate it soo much! Yes, the motive for the Great Dragon seems quite cliche, but I plan to develop it so much beyond the glimpse you get here, so hold in there till it comes! And the story era will be better explained next chapter, it was extremely hard to explain it clearly here, just because of where the cave is. I omitted the line you mentioned, thank you for pointing it out! The first chapter is going through its last editing stages, and should be out sometime next week! Thank you so much!"



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Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:47 pm
Horisun wrote a review...



What's that? On the Horisun? It's a... It's a... REVIEW!
Alright, so I just want to say, this already looks good. Like- REALLY good. Can you tag me when chapter one is out?
I really like that this dragon isn't just "Humans stink- they are meanies- big fat jerks-" He actually has a reason- a really good reason. One we humans should really think about.
I like that your descriptive words as well. It was a really great read, and was very smooth. I can't wait to see what the rest of the story has in store!
The one thing I do want to say, and maybe you did this on purpose, somehow, but you say FOUR knights, and then you say FIVE elements. Like I said, maybe that's intentional, like one will die, or join the Great Dragon, or decide he just wants to pursue his love of art, and doesn't want to give that up to save the world somehow. Idk, just thought I'd mention it.
Other than that, I really liked this! Keep on writing!




bigsisfarmer says...


Thank you so much for giving me a review! I really appreciate it! I will definitely make sure I tag you when the first chapter comes out! It should be sometime next week. I'm really glad you liked the motive so far! Thank you for pointing out my little mistake, in the beginning stages, I had planned for only four main characters, but then I added another one, and I missed that little mistake. It's all fixed now! Thank you so much!




"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites