Dakota
I'm almost sure they can hear it, and I peer at Montana, who sits on my right. She's bent over her notebook, scratching something down, then frowning, and scrubbing it out with her eraser. Completely oblivious to the psychological battle I'm having over here, less then two feet away. The humming of my power drums in my ears, echoing through my mind. For sure the whole class can hear it in the silence of their working.
But no, it's just me being tormented by the sheer force of power radiating off me. Someday's, it's harder then usual to conceal the fact that I'm an elemental. The problem is, I really don't care if they were to know. But I know, that it's essential that they don't. I feel like I'm bursting at the seems, all the power just wanting to escape, but using it can be deadly. My power is even stronger then the others, by at least five times. It's extremely important that I keep it under control, god bless whoever is nearby, should it get out of hand.
I'm near the point of shaking when the clear, widescreen of my watch flares a deep green. I quickly yank my arm off my desk, pressing the screen against my side, not wanting anybody to see. It's not everyday you see a watch like mine.
"Ms. Jean." I call out across the silent classroom.
Her head jerks up from the papers in front of her, "yes?"
"Can I go get a drink?" I ask, but we both know it's not really a question. I'm leaving this classroom regardless of her answer, and so she nods.
Offering a polite smile, I get up and slip out of the room, with perhaps a tad too much speed. As soon as the door is shut, I slide the screen to answer.
“Why the glum face? Don’t tell me you're not enjoying history class?”
Looking at me through the screen, is someone I wasn't expecting to hear from during school hours. Jack flashes his signature white smile that could melt any girl's heart in an instant. I know from watching every girl he encounters, that it works every time. I can’t really blame them, he’s guilty of un matchable good looks, with dirty golden hair that falls onto his forehead like a celebrity surfer. Not to mention his vibrant green eyes that are six shades more intense than any other green eyes on earth. Except for Alex, who’s eyes are identical to Jack’s.
Doesn’t help that he looks like he’s seventeen, when he’s really only fourteen.
“Shockingly, I’m not finding the great wall of china all that interesting.” I drawl back, staring at Jack through the screen of my watch.
“Wow, you never fail to amaze me.” He says with a straight face, his acting skills only add to his overall charm, combine that with his way with words, and he’s a total knockout.
“What do you want? I stepped out of class to take your call.”
I spot a teacher coming down the hall, and push open the door to the girls bathroom. Whatever Jack has to say, it’s probably best nobody hears.
"Wait." Jack pauses, stopping whatever he was about to say. He tilts his head to the side slightly, a sure sign that he's trying to read me, which he's very good at. But I'm also very good a conceling things.
"Your powers getting out of hand again?"
Jack's reading skills win, and I narrow my eyes.
"Don't worry about it." I say in a quiet tone that shuts him up.
“I wanted to remind you to bring that test home.” He returns to my question.
“You seriously called me for that?” I ask, checking my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My long golden hair catches the lighting, making it look even more radiant. Kia tried to convince me to go brunette last week, but it wouldn’t look as natural with my deep blue eyes.
“Nah, that's not the reason.” Jack grins.
“Good, because I thought you were only allowed to bother me at school if it was important.”
“Are you saying my education isn’t important?” Jack fakes hurt.
I roll my eyes. Both Alex and Jack don’t attend actual school, but they are insistent on graduating from eighth grade. Why exactly, I can’t figure out.
But if taking this test, and passing it in order to get their diploma, makes them happy, then fine.
“Spit it out Jack, I don’t have all day.”
“Roxanne wants your approval with sending Alex and I out of the reservation for-”“Yeah, sure, whatever, just come back alive, you’re capable of that, right?” I cut Jack off, and lock eyes with him.
“Duh, of course we are, we’re Alex and Jack.”
“About that, keep an eye on Alex, he’s crabbier than usual today.”
Jack flashes one last grin, then ends the call.
I go to turn off my watch, then change my mind and call Alex.
The screen opens up, and I’m staring at the second of the two best friends.
Alex is sitting in a crook of a tree by the looks of it, in his lap is his carving knife and a chunk of wood, his favourite way to pass time and wash away the anger.
“Dakota.” He says when he sees me, his eyes still burning like they were this morning, a stark difference to Jack’s happy ones.
Alex is the complete opposite of Jack. He’s much more dangerous and unpredictable, yet girls find it sexy. But Alex is not a charmer, in fact, Jack does all the talking when they’re together. Most people just assume he’s dumb, a slower thinker, or just socially awkward. They couldn’t be more wrong, they have no idea what goes on in Alex’s mind. There’s a reason he was chosen for the psychological testing.
“Fair warning, Jacks coming to get you, Roxanne is sending you guys out.”
He has no reaction, his face covered by the blank mask he always wears.
“I’m checking in on your anger, can you handle a trip out?” I pace the bathroom, Ms. Jean is probably wondering where I am by now.
Alex focuses his intense green gaze on me, “I think so.”
I examine him carefully, searching for any sign of extreme hostility, as he always looks hostile. The last thing I need is for him to have an anger episode outside of the reservation.
Alex is scary looking as usual, his rich brown hair flicked into a mohawk at the top, going well with his tan skin and wonderful eyes. But his jaw is clenched, and I can see a muscle in his shoulder is tensed. Well, at least he’s not looking at me with narrowed eyes, and he’s not sitting rock still. Those are danger signs when it comes to Alex.
Satisfied with my results, I meet his gaze again. “Well then, let me know how it goes.”
He doesn’t respond, just ends the call.
With no more distractions to keep me out of class, I head back out into the hall. I reach for the knob of the classroom door, when suddenly I’m hit by a force so strong I stumble backwards.
It has been broken.
The elements are shattered.
Find them again.
But beware of one.
For he is danger.
Because death, brings nothing but bad.
Cursing, I hold the side of my head and lean against the wall, the dull pain hammers against my skull as the genderless voice fades out. That’s the third time this week it’s bothered me. I’m used to it now, it's been happening for a few months, ever since my fourteenth birthday on march sixteenth. It’s talking about the elementals, but I’ve had no luck in finding any more. Just the same four elementals we’ve had for years, Alex, Jack, Seria, and Nicole.
The pain finally goes away, and I step back into the classroom. Heads turn as I flop back down in my seat.
“Everything okay, Dakota?” Ms. Jean questions from the front of the room, peering over the thick textbook in her hands.
I try to suppress my smile, Ms. Jean should not be a teacher. Late forties, wears tons of makeup, owns a bunch of cats, and has frizzy, dyed red hair that she piles on top of her head.
Seeing her holding a textbook, with fake glasses perched on her nose, is just too much.
“Yeah, everything's just great.” I grin, leaning back in my chair.
She nods feverishly, then buries her head back into the book, ploughing on with her lecture.
I tune her out and lower my head onto the desk, attempting sleep to pass the time. But it’s impossible, the girls on either side of me lean over my desk, giggling and whispering about their grad dresses. I get that grad is in three days, but is it so important that they must chatter about it during every moment possible? Honestly, with the stuff that goes on in my life, grad is low on the priority list.
I’m jerked out of sleep when the loudspeaker crackles,
“Ms. Jean, call on line one, Ms. Jean, call on line one.”
Lifting my head, I watch as Ms. Jean tosses the textbook on her desk, and hurries out of the classroom.
People burst into conversation, seizing the moment.
The girls on either side of me immediately get up and converge around my desk.
They blather on about grad, nobody actually talking to me, my desk just happens to be in the middle. That changes when Kia, loud voice and confident, says my name.
“What?” I ask, looking up at her from across the circle.
“Are you bringing Alex and Jack to grad?” She asks, eyes twinkling.
“I never bring them anywhere, they just show up.” I scoff.
“Well, are they going to show up?” She persists.
I shrug, “who knows?”
“I hope so, they are so hot.” Another girl gushes.
Everyone agrees enthusiastically.
“Those high cheekbones, perfect jaw line, sculpted lips.” Kia oozes, a dreamy look on her face.
I roll my eyes, I’ve had to deal with this all year.
“Those eyes, they’re flawless skin, perfect body.” Another says in a haughty voice.
Montanna, who sits next to me, presses her lips together, fighting back a smile. We share a look, like me, Montana can’t stand hearing them go on and on about Alex and Jack. Maybe because she’s my closest friend, if you can say I have one, and she knows about them. She knows they are not normal, and that neither am I. Montana is the only one outside my family that knows.
“Imagine them in a tux? Those sparkling studs in their right ears…” Geena swoons.
“Okay!” I interrupt their stream of opinions.
“As much as I love to hear you girls gush and drool over my boys,” I say sarcastically, “it becomes creepy after a while.”
Kia pouts, pushing out her lower lip, “you can’t keep them forever, Dakota.”
I roll my eyes, but the girls stop their obsessing over Alex and Jack. I don’t keep them because of their looks, I have absolutely no interest in them, but I don’t let other girls sink their claws into them. The more I look at it, the more I realize that they’re not friends, they’re not boyfriends, they’re nothing but pawns that I need.
The fact that this doesn’t bother me, is a sure sign I still don’t have my emotions.
Matthew
Three more days, then I’m outta here. I chant the thought in my head as the girls block the hallway, all giggling and huddled together. I’m tempted to snap at them to move, but that would get people talking. Instead, I give them my best smile, “Would you mind stepping aside girls?”
My eyes find Kira's, who is closest to me. She straightens up, flipping her long brown hair over her shoulder.
“Sure thing Matthew.” They move to the side of the hall, and I avoid eye contact as I pass through.
But I can feel Kira’s gaze on the back of my head, she’s going to text me non stop tonight. I need an excuse, perhaps my phone died? No, I’ve used that too much recently. I like Kira, but I hate texting, home is the only place where I don’t have to pretend. Texting just prolongs the time I spend being fake.
“Matt, you coming over after school?” Christian weaves his way through the crowd to my side.
I dodge around a girl with two giant bags on each shoulder, “yeah, I’ll head over when I get home.” Shoot, I forgot about that. There’s no way I can get out of it now.
“Great.”
We tramp down the sidewalk, Dakota brushes by me, and walks towards the tree line. I follow her with my eyes, never liking her very much.
“My moms making me get my suite properly fitted tonight, so you can’t stay long.” Christian chatters.
“Mmm.” I say absently, wishing my mom would care enough to do that for me.
“So my parents were also wondering if you need a ride to the grad dinner? My mom has to drop my little brother off but then…”
I stop trying to hear Christian over the noise of people rushing for their buses, and just let him talk away. I add in a nod here and there so he thinks I’m listening.
I’m just not in the mood for people right now, even Christian is exhausting to be around.
He somehow keeps up the incessant chatter until we board the bus and take our seats.
I throw my backpack on the ground and grab a pop, gee, the fridge could use a cleaning. Dad sits muttering over some papers at the kitchen table, hunched low over them. I watch him for a few moments, scratching his bald head and scrunching up his face in concentration.
“I’m going to Christans.” I say loudly, so he might actually hear me. But Dad doesn’t even glance up.
I clench my jaw, he’s too absorbed into papers lately to notice me. But I’m no fool, I know exactly what they’re about. Mom and dad are getting a divorce, and I’ve been betting against myself to see how long until they tell me. So far, nothing yet.
Heading out the back door, I grab my mountain bike and set off down the gravel road. My legs pounding furiously against the pedals. The tiny town of Clarington, located in the lower south of the yukon, is our newest location. It’s our third time moving, we came up here three years ago, and so far it’s my favourite move yet.
The town has two thousand people in it, one elementary school, one high school. Everyone knows everyone, and it’s a town sprawled around mountains and wilderness. But the most well known fact of our town, is the reservation.
I swerve out of the way of another biker, and steady myself again. The reservation is the biggest in all of Canada, and closed in with a giant metal fence. What's inside remains a mystery to most. Rumors spread, of course. It’s well known that Dakota lives right beside the property, when nobody is supposed to build within five hundred feet of the fence.
Whatever is inside, is not meant for us to see. I heard it’s part of the government, which is interesting, but I guess not surprising.
A chipmunk snaps me out of my thoughts, and I brake hard to avoid it. I nearly go right over the handlebars, but my stomach slams into them instead. Glaring, I watch as it scampers into the woods, without a care in the world. Sighing, I keep on going. The boiling June sun beats down on me, making the half hour ride to Christians feel twice as long.
I cut through the woods on a side trail, trying to loose the sun. Rich green scenery flies back me as I whip through the forest, preparing the mask again.
The trail opens up into Christians backyard, “Hey there you are!”
He calls from the chicken coop.
I lean my bike against his house, “Cleaning up chicken crap huh?”
“Shut up.” He laughs. “Make yourself useful and come help me.”
“You look like you got in a fight with a chicken, and it won.” Christian snickers as we trudge inside. “Hey, chickens are vicious.” I laugh, and turn on the bathroom light with my elbow and scrub the grime off my hands. I even got shavings in my hair, although they blend in with my sandy blonde color. What used to be neatly sticking out over my forehead, is now a sticking up mess.
“What are you painting your nails?” Christian calls from the living room. I shut off the light and relish the air conditioned room.
“No, your color choices sucked.”
Christian laughs and flicks on the TV.
Alex
I feel my hand tremble, and force it to stop. I want to be ready when Jack finally finds me, I could have answered his call, but I want the time alone. Dakota was right, my anger is bordering on breaking free. My leg starts to tremble, and I know it’s coming. It hits me so hard I jerk to the side, as the anger crashes into my mind. I attack back with everything I’ve got, thrusting the anger away from my thoughts. It claws at me, and I feel the pain ring throughout my head. It fights back, going for my memories, but I force it out of my mind with one last attack. Slamming it behind my steel doors, I let out a deep breath. I lost focus for one second, and it almost reached my mind. Once the anger gets to my thoughts, I turn into a lethal machine.
My hand still clutches the branch above me, my fingers white and my nails digging into the bark. I ache to attack someone, hit them, kill them. Maybe it’s not safe for me to go out.
Sighing, I release the branch and relax my stiff muscles. I can still feel the anger. It batters against my every thought, poisoning my mind. I’m back on point immediately, entirely focused on keeping the anger below the surface. It keeps threatening to come out, like a warning that if I slip up for one second, it’s breaking free.
All I want is ten minutes, ten minutes of being normal. My anger never goes away, it never will, it’s a part of me. Has been for years, since the day I let the scientists try out their latest experiment. That was the last one they ever did, as Dakota refused to let them touch me again. They’ve done enough to ruin me.
It’s exhausting to keep it out all the time, the only way to escape is to sleep. I glance around, I’m well hidden in the broad leaves of the Yolka tree. I draw my power, and reach out to my surroundings. Nobody is within a solid twenty minutes of me, and I am tired from a long night of patrols. I settle back against the trunk of the tree, ignoring the thirty foot drop, and find a comfortable place in a crook of the trunk. I let my eyes slump close, but keep my senses on high alert, until I fall into sleep.
My eyes snap open, but everything around me is still. I only just got to sleep, but I can feel Jack getting close. Awaking also brings back the anger, lurking just beneath the surface. Keeping it in check, I stretch my arms, and climb down the tree.
“There you are!” Jack calls, and jogs over, a lopsided grin on his face.
“Ignoring my calls, really? Come on, Roxanne wants us out.” He knocks me on the shoulder.
“You should really be more quiet, you woke me out of a sleep from a hundred feet away.”
I tell him, as we walk east through the massive forest.
“Not everyone can be creepily silent like you.” Jack jumps into the air and catches a hanging branch. He swings forward and lets go, landing lightly ahead.
I feel the anger creeping up, getting dangerously close to breaking out.
I grab a thick stick off the ground and begin snapping it into little pieces. Jack spots me doing it, but doesn’t say a word.
“Come on, let's call the boys.” He suggests instead.
Good idea, they should be near by.
Jack and I whistle, long piercing echoes ringing out in the following silence. We keep running east, whistling again, even louder.
I end my high pitched note, and jum[ over the fallen tree in front of me.
Then we hear the pounding of hooves, fast approaching like trains. The sound gets louder and louder, until it sounds like it’s on top of us. Crashing out of the bushes, two magnificent black horses skid to a halt beside us. They kick up a swirl of dust, and throw their massive black heads into the air. Grinning, I race up to the one on the left, Black Shadows. Swinging up easily onto the seventeen hand high horse, we whirl around and launch into the bushes. Black Shadows pushes hard off the ground, launching into a gallop right off the bat, jerking me back a fraction.
Jack is close on our tail, riding his horse, Midnight Moon, Black Shadows twin.
I quickly find the path I was looking for, the quickest route to the fence. The narrow dirt path snakes around boulders and logs, and isn’t quite big enough for our horses. Branches rake our sides, tearing at my arms and legs as if trying to rip me off.
I ignore the sting of a branch whipping across my face, and plough on, I hear the smacking of branches on skin from behind me.
Soon, little pinpricks of blood dot my arms, I hastily wipe at them, and duck to avoid a thick branch. My thighs grip the warm sides of Black, and I keep my seat even as he takes a sudden swerve around a looming tree, narrowly missing it. I duck lower over his neck, enjoying the wind that whips against my face. The anger feels farther away now, I like to think that if I go fast enough, I can out run it.
After hours of nonstop running, the horses are frothing at the mouth, and sweat darkens their coats, dripping off them. Our horses great stamina pays off, as we charge out of the tree line, and cross the thirty feet of barren land between the fence and the forest.
Before us, the fence looms.
It’s imposing height bearing down on us, the barbed wire casting nasty shadows on the clear cut grass.
Swiftly leaping off Black Shadows back, I land lightly on the ground, and jog further down the fence line. Jack quickly joins me, and we come to a stop at a cluster of people around the fence.
They spot us, and back away from the object of interest.
There’s a gaping hole in the fence, about five feet wide and six feet tall. Jagged pieces of metal stick out around the edges, work of a metal cutter.
“What's the deal?” Jack asks, inspecting the hole.
“Group of cold bloods came in this way, and left this way. Roxanne wants a trail on them.”’
At the very mention of the word, I stiffen. Cold bloods, they’ve certainly earned their name over the years. They’re ruthless, persistent, dangerous, cold blooded killers. It takes a special kind of person to hunt down and murder other teens. But it takes even more to be the ones who train them to do it.
“Alright then, if we’re not back by nightfall, it means we’re either dead or captured.” Jack grins, and ducks through the fence, I follow him.
We spin back around, regarding the reservation from the outside.
It’s like looking into a prison, which, in a way, is kind of disturbing. With one last look at home, we turn around and sprint after the trail.
It’s like stepping into a whole new world. The ground is littered with pine needles and leaves, all of them smaller then my hand. I could even wrap my arms around the trees surrounding us. Inside the reservation, the trees are twice as big, and twice as tall.
The poorly hidden path the cold bloods took winds north west, down towards the swamps and thick forests. I keep my senses on high alert, not wanting to be ambushed.
My mind flickers back to the last time I was outside the reservation. It was two weeks ago, when yet another group of cold bloods has slipped through our fingers, melting back into the outside world. Jack and I were among the dozen sent after them. The first one I caught up to was no older than me, but his eyes were wild, and his body kept twitching. That’s generally what happens when they pump drugs into someone so young. He pulled a knife on me, but that didn’t deter me from attacking him. And killing him.
I pull away from the thought, correcting myself before my anger can latch onto the weak point. Shoving it out of my mind, I focus on the task at hand.
We follow the rutted path deeper into the forest, ATV tracks leaving deep prints behind them.
The swamps smell absolutely horrible, mostly due to the chemicals and pollution dumped in them. The awful, pungent smell doesn’t seem to bother Jack, but his sense of smell isn’t nearly as great as mine. Even though the place reeks, the swamps cover over six hundred acres, perfect place for a hideout. Jack and I arrive at the edge of the swamps, and swivel our heads to the right. Both of us see the glint bouncing around in the sun, behind several thick trees. The path to them is clear, and we peer around the trunks. Five, brand new ATVs are parked in front of us, their keys missing.
“Look.” I mutter.
Jack follows my gaze, through a narrow path between two bushes, opens up to a big clearing. We immediately enter the clearing, and I scowl at the foot prints on the ground. They end suddenly, cut off. “Helicopter.” Jack says bitterly.
“Wonderful.” I add, scanning the skies.
“So, they’re somewhere in this giant swamp.” He concludes.
“It would appear so.”
“Then we better get searching.”
*I whipped this up the other night, please let me know what you think, as a start.*
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Hey!
So, I'm just going to start off by saying that I loved this!
The whole concept of the plot is really intriguing! I loved that your characters were all somewhat different and that I don't quite know everything about them yet. It has definitely raised a lot of questions. I immediately want to know more about the reservation. Also about how Matthew is going to fit into the plot with the other characters.
I do however have a couple of small points. Mostly just a couple of typos and small grammatical errors.
Here I feel like the flow of the sentence is a little odd. Mostly due to the 'never liking her very much' part. Maybe if you said ' I had never liked her very much' it would flow slightly better?
Just a suggestion.
I don't think that you needed a new line here, just continue on after the speech.
Okay, so again, super small error, I think you mean 'seams' not 'seems.'
Another thing that I would maybe suggest is breaking up this chapter a little bit, perhaps so each of the character's perspectives are different parts?
Okay, so I don't want to go on too much about grammatical mistakes, because in the end they're only super small errors that if you read through again you could probably spot. And in the end they do nothing to take away from the amazing start you have made to this story!
I loved the whole idea that you have behind each of the characters, and I also love how each of them has something going on that would make me want to read on. I want to know more about the mission Jack and Alex have been sent on. The tests that are being run on them that have made Alex angry. The part Matthew has to play. The voices Dakota hears.
Long story short I really want to read the next part!
I loved this, I really hope you post more parts
Burn
Remind me to review this!
*reminds you to review this*
I completely forgot about this xDD
Hello Bellamoon!

I really like this and the way that you have created the alternate points of view when considering the narration of the piece - this way your readers really get to know your characters causing them to be drawing into the story more as they are determined to find out which character they want to root for. Narration wise, I love how you have taken it upon your writing to consider how you have set out the narration. By making it so the narrator is fitting the mood and overall character of the person you are talking from, the reader does not just see the writing as a point of view, but gets immersed with them without even placing in any extra details. However, whilst the descriptions are thorough and give quite a clear overview for the situations at hand, as a reader I want to feel like I'm in the story with that character.
You seem to tell the story more than show it (which is fine but if you really want to fully draw the reader in you need to apply the senses throughout). You do apply showing every now and again though - Cursing, I hold the side of my head and lean against the wall, the dull pain hammers against my skull as the genderless voice fades out. - I really like this sentence as you both describe the voice you hear and the pain that you feel. If you keep up to this standard throughout and maybe either use a little less dialogue or more description, you can create a world for your reader to be completely immersed in.
Now back to positives! Once again I really like how well you speak through the narration of the whole piece. Each character has their personalities shown thoroughly through each situation; using a sarcastic-ish tone with Dakota whilst Alex beholds a more serious tone that slowly shows him trying to grasp hold of his sanity. Overall I think this is a great start, especially for something that you wrote in a night
I hope to see more works from you in the future!
Keep writing,
Godly~
Thank you so much, that means a lot. And I see what you mean, I am defiantly going to use your suggestions!