Collect my soul,
Unwavered from distance
and reputation.
Conjure up an attitude of silence
To mimic the passage of time...
Dwell into the eyes of the lonely
and see their empty stares
filled with opportunities gone
amiss.
Belly up in the tendrils of society
they long for acceptance.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi marie! I'm Kat, nice to meet you, and I will review this delightful piece of yours, even though I don't have much to say!
The only thing I noticed was punctuation.
I'm not sure what 'unwavered' means. I searched through dictionaries, and still I did not found it. Anyway, dispesise from that, you shouldn't capitalize it., and put a comma after 'distance'.
The next two lines are lovely! Adorable, even. But I'm not sure I get them.
Comma after 'lonely' and 'stares'. Again, lovely stanza!
Comma after 'society'.
I'm sorry, this is so much of a short and poor review, but there wasn't much I could find wrong with your poem. The word choice was wonderful, and the flow, rhythm was good.
About the message/meaning, I did not get it. Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't get anything more of this poem than pretty words put amazingly good together.
Feel free to PM me if you need anything!
*Kat*