Just one more sip I promised myself as the fiery burgundy liquid swam down my throat. Okay, well one more should really do it. Ah ha! Numbness. Exactly what I had been searching for. A means to an end; a blanket of solace. I stumbled down to the gray couch and plopped my entire body down limb by limb. This was the life: no worries, no feelings, just me and my head.
Love—ew, no. Happiness… try again. Sweet, sweet indifference! The thoughts floated like clouds in the empty skies of my mind.
Step 1: take a large swig, until you start to feel light headed. Step 2: revel in the liberating satisfaction and power you have over your body. Step 3: if desired results have not yet been reached, repeat.
Who gave them license to smile? The balance of power always tilts in their favor! No matter, it doesn’t concern me. I have everything I need right here. Who cares what they’re doing? I’m the one having all the fun.
They can’t hear me. They never answer. They never come. Loneliness washed me to shore and back to the kitchen. Just one more sip, step 1, repeat.
I don’t have a problem, I’m fine, I swea—