I Remember, I Remember Certain Things

It was no day unlike any other. Blue spent the afternoon playing his Sega Genesis, knowing Red would interrupt him. He thought that if he could just sit there and do nothing, he would be quiet for one night. He sat on the firm sofa with a can of seltzer leaking through the soft fabric and stared at the TV screen as he hit the buttons on his controller.

Red burst out of the door, shirtless as usual, and rushed nearby. “Heyyy Blue! What’s cookin’?”

Blue paused the game and looked at his roommate’s ass. “Nothing. I need to relax. My teacher tells me I didn’t study last week.”

“I saw that, too.” Red left the door open and took his paper copy of the quiz from the kitchen counter. “It was SOOO HARD!!”

“Did you flunk the test or what?” Blue asked.

Red took a deep breath and handed the quiz out to his roommate. Oh no, what would Red do, considering how much of an ass he was. “I did fairly well.”

Blue looked at the quiz and found out his roommate had filled in most of the answers correctly. He slapped his hands against his face. “Are you crazy? You do all that stupid shit and you’re a smartass. Don’t you realize it?!”

“You know what, maybe you should grow up. Like going to the gym and hitting the club.”

All of a sudden, Blue remembered that he spent 2 years in seventh grade because he failed a test so hard that his mother told him to do it all over again. But that was five years ago. He was 16 and a little too old to watch his uncle’s shows.

He was afraid he would tell it to Red, but at this point, he had to. “Come on, Red. I don’t need to get held back a second time.”

“Who cares?!” Red stated. “Try drinking. It’s fun.”

Blue thought to himself. What? Why did Red choose drinking over anything? Would it help him with his homework? Would it solve all his problems?

Right, because his roommate was an annoying piece of shit. Even if Red was smart enough, he would’ve spent his time studying instead of doing whatever the hell he wanted. At least it’s better than having no roommate at all, he guessed.

“You gotta grow up and live a normal life.” Red grabbed a beer bottle off the shelf and took a sip. “You’re not a kid anymore, you’re an adult. You can’t spend all day playing old video games instead of doing your homework on time.”

“Oh, I have to?” Blue asked, gazing at Red’s eyes. “How do you spend YOUR day?”

Within a second, Red drank another sip. “Fucking, drinking, and going to parties. You know, all the usual shit.”

Blue stood up and slapped his hands on his hips. Red would always do such a thing. It didn’t matter what Red would do; he was already tired of it.

“Is that your way of adulting?” Blue asked as he noticed the empty beer bottle near his roommate. “Clearly, you can’t behave like that.”

Red took another sip. “I get better grades than you, dumbass. And I get away with it!!”

“With what?” Blue crossed his arms and twitched his eyebrows. “All that stuff you just told me?”

“Yep. Imma show you my secret.” Red stood up as well.

Tired of seeing Red act like this all day, Blue rested on top of the sofa. He didn’t want At that exact moment, Red leaned towards him with his arms wrapped around Blue and his legs crouched in a fetal position.

Oh no, Blue thought. He’s gonna do THAT again. Better to tell him than nothing. “What do you wanna tell me?” he asked.

“I attract thousands of people. Like, THOUSANDS. They all stare at my dick and abs and tell me I’m the greatest.”

“You’re exaggerating yourself,” Blue said as Red placed his body on top of him. “Clearly you don’t like me… well, maybe you do a bit.”

“Exactly!” Red exclaimed. “And that’s why YOU’RE the loser!”

Red left the bed and brought a beer can over to Blue. What in the world? Blue never tried beer before. His uncle drank it a lot, but clearly he didn’t like it.

Nevermind. He wanted people to take him seriously. “Why are you giving this to me?” he responded in a deadpan voice.

Red went back to the sofa, lying on top of him and all. “I wanna show how much I love you. Plus, you can be a real adult.”

Blue looked at the beer can. He didn’t know why Red would do this. “That’s not adulting, dude. You know how I feel when you do stupid shit like this.”

“You’ve spent years with no friends while playing your console and watching nothing but He-Man and Ninja Turtles on your uncle's old VHS tapes.” Red threw the beer can over Red’s face. ”Imma throw a giant party for you and see what happens.”

”Okay.” Blue responded with sarcasm. “If you wish.”

That evening, Blue couldn’t sleep. He didn’t want to see Red for one day, let alone a whole week. He didn’t want to watch another old movie so he could rest; he needed to study hard. And he couldn’t study because he had to stop playing and get rid of his baby toys. Or at least Red thought so. Anyways, he needed to grow up.

Just as he went to bed, the door knocked. Seriously? Blue thought. Muffled dance music played as he rested his head on the soft pillows.

What the hell? Why would Red do this?

Red chimed in, wearing nothing but a thong and his red cap. “Hey Blue, I have a surprise for you!!”

“What is it?” Blue got up, afraid he would deal with his nasty roommate again.

“Imma teach you how to be a MAN!!” Red opened the door, unaware his roommate was unprepared and about to fall asleep.

Blue quickly strapped on a pair of jeans and walked through a large room full of neon lights, smiley faces, and glowsticks. A DJ played a series of rave and techno music from the kitchen. Blue scanned the room, looking for anyone who wanted to talk to him.

What the hell? he asked. Why did I end up here?

He needed answers. He went back to his bedroom. The door was locked. I don’t know if Red likes me,he thought. Even if he interrupts me and says we want to make out with each other, why would he cause so much trouble?

A random guy in a speedo walked up to him with a fresh can of cold beer. “Are you looking for something? Try this.”

Blue didn’t want to try this. One beer was enough. He drank the substance, watching the creamy liquid ruin his mouth.

What was that? He felt nothing. He tried alcohol before; now he had to witness a whole goddamn party full of it. What was the point? If he wanted to grow up, clearly this was the wrong way to do something.

Oh, and where was Red? He was somewhere banging a bunch of chicks. And some dudes too, since Red had a crush on him.

“Hey.” Blue walked over to the DJ, trying not to trip over the beer and glow sticks scattered all over the floor. “Do you know where Red is? I need to tell him something, and it’s really important. I shouldn’t get drunk here, for crying out loud.”

The DJ wasn’t interested, let alone worried about why some immature nerd would go there. “Dude, these are some sweet tunes!! You gotta feel them!!”

“Awww, crap.” Blue left without telling him.

He paved through the throngs of students dancing, stripping, and kissing on the filthy living room floor. Blue didn’t fit in with the crowd. He stood there all alone and stuck out like a sore thumb among the crowds minding their dumb business.

Think, Blue. Break a leg. This is how you do it.

But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do anything, whether it was getting drunk, playing games with everyone, or walking through a nightmare like what happened now.

As he headed towards the bathroom, hoping to find a safe spot, he saw a girl a little shorter than him with a large ponytail. She seems familiar, he assumed. Of course he knew who she was; he was too drunk to realize that.

He rubbed his chest and looked away from the girl. Did he want to go on a date with her? “Hey Pink, I think I know you from… uh… ”

“From what?” said the girl. She was busy standing with only a few other people.

“I think we…uh… share a few classes together.”

The girl didn’t listen. She kept observing the large crowd and checked her phone for updates. Finally she responded. “I’m chatting with some friends. Please ignore me.”

Blue leaned towards Pink, hoping to get an answer. “I don’t want to… uh… ignore you... I mean.. I just noticed your…uh… what should I say?”

“You mean my BOOBS?” Pink’s face turned red as she knew he would say that.

“Yeah,” said Blue, nervous about dating someone he knew but wouldn’t respond to him. “I just noticed… your… big…uh… boobs…”

"Don' t talk to me like that.” Pink slapped him on the shoulder. “I hate when people bother me like that. I’m tired of you coming up to me like ‘Oh, I don’t know you well.’ Like what’s the point? I thought you had a boyfriend, for crying out loud.”

His limbs shaked as though he had never seen her before. Well, he knew who she was; he didn’t want to talk to her when she was in a mood like this. “I mean.. I don’t want to talk about my boyfriend. He brought me into this.”

"He brought you into what? This party I stumbled into? I'm waiting for a ride home.”

Blue took a sip from his beer. Clearly he wasn’t prepared. “Yeah, that’s the… uh… one. He needs me to grow up, or I’m stuck watching old cartoons all day.”

Pink looked at the text messages on her phone, unaware of who brought her into a party like this. “He’s such an ass. He doesn’t like it when I’m around.”

Blue couldn't talk to her. Why would he bother dating Pink if she wasn't interested, let alone willing to go with someone while they were drunk? He had to make a choice, even if he didn't want to mess with Red's antics. Perhaps Pink didn’t know him. Or did she?

Tired of all the peer pressure and drinking, he trembled into the bathroom without caution. Maybe I'll be safe, he assumed. Hopefully that idiot doesn't show up and piss me off at the wrong moment, or else I'm doomed.

There he saw Red sitting in the corner with five opened beer bottles and a group of girls and guys wearing swimsuits, if anything at all. The bathroom smelled of cheap liquor and old towels Blue used in case his roommate needed them, which he never did. Why would such a mess happen if Red never used it?

Maybe this was his sex room, Blue guessed. He knew Red well enough that his roommate barely took a shower. Still, he wouldn't want to see his friend banging a bunch of chicks, much less him, when he brushed his teeth every morning.

As he ignored the noise in the living room, Blue gasped at the horrid sight. “Red, what are you doing here? You threw this party so I can grow up, yet here you are, getting drunk and doing all your goddamn monkey business as usual.”

Red leaned over him. “What are YOU doing, Miss Worryface? Can I tell you something?”

“What?” Blue's heart raced.

“Do you wanna get drunk again?”

“Hell no. And stop calling me miss. I’m a guy.”

“Don’t complain.” Red tapped a foot against Blue's ankle. “You ain’t upset over nothing. I wasn’t making fun of you, I wanted to show how much I love you!! Now watch this.”

Red handed out a beer to his roommate. Blue took a large gulp, unaware of the disgusting nature of what was possibly his first night drunk.

“Why… would you… do this?” Blue commented as he tasted the unsavory aura of the glass-colored liquid Red forced his mouth into.

“Do what?!” Red asked. “Me showing how much I wanna love you?”

Blue closed his eyes. He didn't need to do this. He saw enough of one disastrous night, with him trying and failing to grow up even though his sort of idiot roommate didn't think so. “I’m not angry. I wonder why you’re doing this.”

“You’re jealous, man. I don’t want you to ruin my life.”

“This is dead serious,” Blue lectured with a swollen mouth. “You shouldn’t do this. I need to grow up, and all you’re doing is throwing this damn party at me so you can hook up with me however you want. I don't know how many times you've done this, but you should know better.”

His roommate didn't listen. “Better than what? Rizzing each other and showing who’s the coolest?”

“Pretty much. The campus knows you, and even with all the nonsense you do around here, they think you're a great guy. You have a lot of friends, do you?”

Without patience, Red thrusted his knees against his chest and stared upwards at the ceiling. His fists wrinkled as he heard the noise from outside the door.

“Imma be honest. I don’t have a lot of friends.” Red twitched his fingers as he told Blue the honest truth. “When I was a kid, my parents abandoned me and left me in the middle of nowhere. If only they loved me.”

Blue rested a hand against his friend's shoulder. “Come on. Everyone loves you. You’re cool, talented, and funny, but you piss me off when you’re with me sometimes.”

“Yeah, but my parents didn’t think so. I needed fun… for one night only.”

Seriously? Blue assumed that Red did nothing but drink, drink, and drink. “So all you did was throw this damn party for me?” he asked.

Red blushed. “Yeah. It’s because I love you.”

What? Blue knew that all Red did was interrupt his bedtime and sleep with him until morning passed. Did Red like him or not?

Blue pressed his fingers against his lap. His legs twitched from all the drinking. He let out a stern tone. “You're kidding, right? I thought you didn't love me. And what does this have to do with me growing up?”

“You don’t have to grow up.” Red remarked. “You need to enjoy life, have fun, and stop complaining. That's what friends are for.”

“So you tell me it sucks to be an adult.”

“Of course it does,” Red said. “You have to appreciate the simple things and move on.”

Blue stood up from the messy bathroom floor. He grabbed the half-empty beer bottle Red gave him and threw it in the trash can already loaded with unnecessary belongings that Red wasted. “I guess,” he said as he walked near the slammed door.

“Please!! Come back!!” Red bellowed as he waved his arms in endless circles. “I love you!!”

“We should clean this mess after it’s done.” Blue turned towards him. “It’s past midnight."

“Perhaps we could do some didazzling… I guess?”

“Maybe not.”