I have a few ideas that I've worked on, and I just want to know what to work on first. So I'll post a little snippet of each, and then you can tell me what you think I should work on.
Idea One - Soul Of The Fire
What was left of the setting sun lay nestled in the red mountains, it’s dying face shedding the last light of the day on Linwë‘s face. She looked up as it sank below the mountains, and a tear followed its descent, falling to the ground as the last of the sun fell away. She turned from the grave, still crying.
“Linwë, Linwë Telemnar! Are you okay?” It was Huor Cúthalion, the son of the dragon keeper. He was easily the last person she wanted to see.
Idea Two - Untitled
The bay was as silent as it was cold. The only sound was the frigid waves’ smack of frustration as they tried to climb the cliffs. Occasionally the call of a lonesome kittiwake would echo across the water.
Jacob sighed. The responsibility of caring for everyone was getting to him. It was just too boring to deal with the mundane problems of every child’s life. He wished something would happen, something exciting. Something that would free him from his boring life.
Not that his life was ordinary, though. It was far from it. Leading two hundred children when he was just a child himself wasn’t exactly something everyone faced in their lifetimes. It was hard work, and Jacob knew it.
Jacob turned as the bushes behind him rustled. He knew someone was there, but who it was, he wasn’t sure. He stood up, ready for anything.
A girl, barely a week younger than he was, stepped out of the bushes. “Jeez Maria! Don’t sneak up on me like that,” Jacob yelled. Maria giggled, and they sat down at the edge of the cliffs together, legs swinging.
Idea Three - The Library
Chapter 2
It was amazing. A high, almost endless ceiling with four large support beams running up the walls all the way to a point at the top, where they connected. A large, crystal chandelier hung from the point where they met. As Kate looked closer, she saw actual candles in the places where the light bulbs went on modern chandeliers.
But that wasn’t even half as good as what filled the walls, and what surrounded the four chairs facing the merrily crackling fireplace. Books. Books of every shape, size, and binding material imaginable. Kate thought that she had seen the most books she ever would at the little corner library back at home, but this, this was ten times as many books, at the very least.
The books in the walls sat on heavily varnished maple shelves, each one having the kind of books held burned into the front. Doubly thick boards wedged between them at uniform distances supported these shelves. Ladders that could reach even the highest books covered several of the bookshelves. Kate pushed one experimentally to find it slid with fluid-like ease.
The second floor was a balcony that went the entire way around, with even more bookshelves along its length. Twin flights of elegant mahogany stairs connected the two floors, one staircase at each end of the room.
The floors were beautiful foursquare parquet wood tiles, each one sanded and refinished several times over. On the first floor, they stopped five feet from the fireplace to give way to a raised hearth of creek stones, each one rubbed smooth with age and countless feet pacing over them.
“Wow, Miz Taylor, wow!” That was all Kate could manage. Miz Taylor smiled softly.
“Please, Kate, call me Winnie. I’m an old lady, I can deal with a little bit of attachment,” Miz Taylor said with that small smile that she seemed so eager to share.
“Okay, but is it okay to call you Aunt Win, it’s a lot easier to call you that somehow,” Kate said with an attempt at that small smile that she was growing to like a little better. The result was a lopsided grimace worthy of a clown.
“Whatever you must, dear, please, will you sit down?” They walked over to the fireplace, Aunt Win’s heels ringing on the bright, clean floor.
So, what do you think? I know it's a small amount to go with, but it's all I've written in months pretty much...
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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So these are all seem like pretty good ideas. I'll just comment on them as I go as if they were their own individual little piece. So far all I can say is that they all sound like they could lead to some great stories.
Anyway let's get right to it,
This definitely sounds like an awesome place to be starting something off. I would certainly be interested in continuing to read after seeing that as the first paragraph.
That certainly does seem like the beginnings of a nice little fantasy novel but I'm afraid that's a really tiny amount to be going off of. There's barely any indication as to what sort of plot the story might have.
This is also a really good opening paragraph that you've got here. It's certainly very interesting to see and it has a nice little bit of description that's doing a wonderful job of establishing the setting that this story is taking place in.
Now that is certainly a very interesting idea. I would absolutely keep on reading at this time.
Nice little fake jump scare there. Nice bit of fun and also a nice little titbit of information on how Jacob appears to always be ready to engage some kind of foe.
That's another great start that you've got there. Three in a row. This one being a really nice little description that really sets the setting of the scene that you're about to write.
More beautiful description here. It's all painting a wonderful picture.
Okay I love this one too. The character interactions here are really nice. Definitely has the most substance to it this one.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Okay after considering all three I have to say the first one seems a little bit cliche and something that might come off sounding like a rehash of something. The other two...umm number 2 seems like a fresh idea but it just didn't sound quite as nice as the third idea. I honestly loved the glimpse of the dynamic we got between Aunt Win and Kate. That is what I would like to see continued. I know you will probably never see this and you probably made your decision long ago but I just wanted to add my own two cents in there.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
They both look interesting.
I liked idea two. One of my favorite books when I was younger was about a kid who lead hundreds of others from Maine to Washington DC so as to protest against nuclear weapons. Nowadays, I find the message of the book extremely naive, but it was cool to read.
Whoops... fixing it!
I'd like to read more on the first idea and also the names reminded me of the Lord of the Rings.
Edit: Don't we get to vote for idea three?