When I met you
It seems as if I wasn't blue
Like I found the right shoe
I don't know what I would do
Without you
And I hope you get the clue
That I will be there for you too
On every single night
That we might just fight
Tell me that we will be alright
Even if times get rough
I know that we are tough
I can be your she
And you can be my he
As long as we can be
What I've always wished to see
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey, Vya 9 here for a review. Let me start by saying that this is an incredibly sweet poem! Its beauty lies in its simplicity and the rhyme scheme is perfect. Also the line 'Like I found the right shoe' is really cute . And i love the way it ends in hope, much like the way lovers are. I do think that it could use some punctuation but then again its just so lovable. I loved reading this one and hope to read more from you soon!
I feel like I review poetry more often than stories, I guess the poets make an impression on me
^___^
First of all love, love, LOVE your poem, it was beautiful. It really spoke to me (not literally but you get it) and touched me deeply. As if you have been lovers with someone else for a long time with an unbreakable bond. Even though you have hard times in your way you will still be everlasting in love.
When I was finished this poem my face was like dreamy and content really and that's a good sign! I really visualized the love and I'm a bit of a romantic (but only a bit) and even if I don't like romance that much I loved this poem!
No problems here as I could see, awesome job and keep writing more!
Hello, this is Tay01, one of Young Writers Society's new member.
Well, to start with, this poem is as always, of course full of love. Have you poured out all your heart to write this loving poetry? Well, I tell you what, you nearly touched my heart with the beauty and power of love and light. It feels as if you had just lost a great good friend of yours that was friends with you for seven straight years.
Now I am thinking like this "Hmmm.............." No idea what else to say. Your poetry is just to nice. 'sighed with awe'.
Oh one more thing. When you create poems, focus more to meanings than just rhyme. If you did it then it will be much, much more meaningful. Anyway, poetries are not the aim to rhyme, but they are the aim to express your meanings and feelings in a little hidden and special way.
That's basically all. Bye.
~~Tay01, New Young Writers Society Member.
To start with, let me call this one a beauty, because even though the topic is very common the way you have put it is kind of different. What I would like to tell you is that if you had punctuated it, it would have been better than now!
The second and third lines could have more clarity as not everyone may understand it.
And yes, I like your rhyme scheme. It makes it fun reading!
That's all I can say for now as I've just started with reviewing poems..
I hope to see more of your writings!