Published November 1, 2015
My sister stalks these halls
Like that ghostly Lady Madeline.
~
The casket is open, the corpse has fled.
Whispers of distant screams
pierce the silent air. I wait
For that shadowy figure to fill
My doorway. Her macabre
Figure will find me soon.
I cannot flee to any corner
Of this estate without
The creaking of unobserved
Steps trailing behind mine.
~
She'll find me soon, and
Repay me for my crimes.
My sister stalks these halls,
Like that ghostly Lady Madeline.
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Hey, i'm kman134, i'm here to review.
i love this poem and found it very ominous.
the stanzas were a little bit off and should be improved a lift, but, all in all, this was truly thrilling.
"The casket is open, the corpse has fled.
Whispers of distant screams
pierce the silent air."
this is what got me; the haunting sound of a casket opening as the soul of the deceased creeps out of the crypt while hearing the auspicious sounds of the spirit wailing in pain, sauntering throughout the halls as your soul feels the chill in the air before she takes your life. this is why i love horror stories; they bring out the best in me and i see they bring out the best in you. anyways, i hope you continue and please write more.
Hey! Holly here for a review!
I love this poem, and yes, I did get the reference!
The stanzas were a bit weird though and could have used some improvement.
I wait
For that shadowy figure to fill
My doorway.
That part didn't really make any sense. The way that it was separated I mean. I had to reread it several times to understand it.
The "~" didn't really make any sense and I feel like it was unnecessary.
Also the capitalization was a bit strange.
Just work on these things!
Other than that I really enjoyed your poem and it captured my attention.
Keep writing! I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff!!!