Published November 22, 2009
Why do we try to justify ourselves
To say we were right
When in reality
We were the ones that were wrong?
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Canary word: Present
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I kind of agree... it isn't a poem. Well, yet at least.
Maybe... try spacing it differently? If I spaced one of my poems the way most are, I would have about a ten- line poem. Instead, it's about 24. whoops.
maybe...
why do we try
to justify
ourselves
try to say we are
right
get it? Spacing is everything, in my opinion.
Also, in the beginning, your poem is present- tense (why do) and then in the end it us past tense (we were)
Hi,
First off, I think you were going for a deeper meaning and understanding? It wasn't touching in any way, shape or form to be honest.
Second off, I agree with Kamas and maybe this isn't a poem at all. No I'm sure this isn't a poem at all. Use it as a quote and put it where Kamas said it should go.
Now, keep working at it and maybe if it were longer than it could become a better poem. An actual, real live poem and not some strange short quote.
Get it? Hope I helped.
-Rena.
Hi babygirl!
Well I don't think this would count as a poem. More of a quote, which should be placed in the Literary Misc. Forum.
Quick mention:
There is a lack of punctuation in this 'mini - poem'/ quote.
Comma after 'ourselves' and 'reality'
Period after 'right'
I might want to move this to the correct forum. Either contact a mod to move it for you, or re - post it in the forum yourself.
PM if you need any tips/assistance with anything!
Kamas