Published September 23, 2007
Time
Grain by grain
and bit by bit,
the sands of time slowly cascade…
Tic Toc Tic Toc
the clock tolls…
To be taken for granted once again,
just as the urgency it calls forth…
Tic Toc Tic Toc
The clock tolls on…
Announcing yet again
the passage of time
Time which we believe,
is infinite.
An element,
which will last forever.
Believing this,
we abuse time.
We stretch it to the limits.
Before we know it,
time has reached its limit.
It is gone.
Never to return…
Never to repeat again…
In the deafening silence
which ensues its passage.
Nothing remains
but that of one sound.
Tic Toc Tic Toc
The clock continues to toll…
Though opportunities have been lost,
though lives have moved on,
the sands of time
continue to fall…
falling…
falling…
for all eternity…
Once, time was all that we had.
Now, it’s what we don’t…
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
So much sand imagery is spent dealing with the idea of time. I think it would be interesting if you picked something else, something uncommon: maybe blades of grass, or big boulders (similar to sand, just very exaggerated). I also wish that there had been more use of poetic devices because without them, there's not much to comment on. The last two lines are a nice conclusion, but I think it takes too long to get there.
PM me if you have any questions,
-Amelia
Hi azure! I really enjoyed your poem. Keep it up