TO DAD

by azizaanjum01

Published November 3, 2014

E - Everyone

In Horizon

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Just thought I would tell you,

You are the world's best dad,

Your angelic presence always makes me proud and glad,

Could never be a person as intellectual as you,

Dads like you  in this planet are very few,

Maybe I don't tell as often as I should;

Though I know I should say it as often as I could,

That I really love you!

So glad that you are MY DAD,

Times we spent "together"

Are definitely to be cherished and probably the greatest I've had.

Aziza Anjum


Comments & reviews · 6
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KayKayKoala
Review
KayKayKoala wrote a review Review · Nov 4, 2014

That is a really sweet poem.
It's a really great way to show your appreciate or gratitude or love for him.
I honestly.... I don't know
I'm sure there are things that could be better, but then again not because you wrote it, in your style, and it's your choice to make it what it needs to be
So no format or punctuation corrections you'll get from me (though they're really aren't any anyways)
The topic of the poem is your choice as well, and I honestly think it was a great topic.
It's so meaningful.
If I were a dad who received this, I would be so incredibly happy.
Keep up the great work!!
~KayKayKoala

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azizaanjum01
Comment
azizaanjum01 commented Comment · Nov 4, 2014

Thanks everyone for your comments ! And I corrected my mistakes!

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emeraldfox
Review
emeraldfox wrote a review Review · Nov 4, 2014

Aww this is sweet. I'm a daddy's girl, too!

Some things I liked...
You had a good meter that stayed consistent throughout the entire poem. Your rhymes did not seem forced or stretched.

A few minor mistakes I found were...
1. "Dad's like you..." should just be, "Dads," without the apostrophe.
2. "Though I know I shuld say it as often as I could." In this line, "shuld," should be, "should."
3. In the lines, "That I really love [love was in bold] you!/So glad that you are MY DAD,/Times we spent "together"' you should decide if you are going to use bold or uppercase for emphasis in the first two. In the third, I was confused as to why "together" was in quotations.

Great poem! And welcome to YWS. I can't wait to read more of your work!

Thanks for your review

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krazywriter
Review
krazywriter wrote a review Review · Nov 3, 2014

Love it! My dad is definitely one of the most important people in my life! :)

I saw only one thing besides what RandomCollumns wrote. "shuld" in the seventh line should be "should."

The overall flow of the poem is mostly good. The last few lines are a little awkward. Try to clean that up a bit. Great job!

-Krazywriter

Ya i know the last lines are a bit awkward! I corrected the errors :) thnx

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MarGeo
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MarGeo commented Comment · Nov 3, 2014

Sweet :)

RandomCollumns wrote a review Review · Nov 3, 2014

This was probably the most heart warming thing I've read all day, it really lifts my heart to see that you really love your Dad. One mistake though, "Dad's like you in this planet are very few," unless the Dad is in possession of something there shouldn't be something in between it; if you are saying that more people should have Dads like him, then you should say something about "other's" because then they are in possession.
Random Columns

Happy that you likef it! Thnx



Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.
— Chuck Palahniuk