Dragons
Scales like a forges flame
Wings like hurricanes
Teeth like sabers
But a heart like a warm smile
This poem shows not to judge a book by its cover just like how dragons are judged because they are all fierce and crazy so even if something seems bad there is probably some good in it.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Hey there aydenini! Hadj here to review!
Nitpick
Line 2:
"Scales like a forges flame"
You need an apostrophe to show possession:
"Scales like a forge's flame"
Criticism
In a lot of ways, this poem is childish. It's just a series of overused similes to describe dragons. The last line kind of bothered me. I understand your purpose was tho show that the dragon might not be all bad, but I think you overdid it. It's quite an awkward generalization to say that a species known for burning down villages has "a heart like a warm smile"
Praise
This poem has some potential. I really like the theme of the poem, and the words themselves were fairly interesting to read. You kept it short and to the point. Overall, pretty good work here, but definitely a lot room for improvement.
Keep writing!
Hadj
Well maby things have a way of reacting to things that happen as you said burning down villages sounds like something a dragon would do but that is the Ariosto type of dragons just because something seems intimidating does not mean that it is so. If it is burning down a village it may be the effect of it getting pissed of by something that that village did, everything has a reason and an effect for something that happened, but thank you and I will take your advice into consideration.
I understand that's the point of your poem, is that the dragon may have a reason behind its actions. I just think that "a heart like a warm smile" is quite a statement. I wouldn't expect something with "a heart like a warm smile" to do anything slightly bad even if there was a reason.
You do have a valid point there and I mite not have worded this poem right and thank you I will think of that when I post another poem.
Umm..so this was a very short poem. But in these few lines you made your point.
After reading this a few times, I still couldn't understand whether you were talking about dragons metaphorically or were you ACTUALLY talking about dragons
Maybe increase the length just a little bit. But yes, I do get the message in this.
Nice work!
Hassan
Thank you it was a first I will use your advise in later poems
I would write a review, but I'm not a poetry guy and I'd probably just end up spouting Dragonheart references...
Hello, I'm Howl.
I love the idea of this poem, but I really think that if you added more to it then it would be even better than it already is. You give a few examples of the 'bad' things about dragons but there is only one good thing that they have in poem. Of course, this may all just be a review doesn't matter, but thank you for reading it anyways. Can't wait to see more of your work!
Thank you as well and I look forward to writing more