Dragons

by aydenini, aydenini

Published September 23, 2014

E - Everyone

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Dragons

Scales like a forges flame

Wings like hurricanes 

Teeth like sabers

But a heart like a warm smile 

This poem shows not to judge a book by its cover just like how dragons are judged because they are all fierce and crazy so even if something seems bad there is probably some good in it. 

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Hadj
Review
Hadj wrote a review Review · Sep 28, 2014

Hey there aydenini! Hadj here to review!

Nitpick
Line 2:
"Scales like a forges flame"
You need an apostrophe to show possession:
"Scales like a forge's flame"

Criticism
In a lot of ways, this poem is childish. It's just a series of overused similes to describe dragons. The last line kind of bothered me. I understand your purpose was tho show that the dragon might not be all bad, but I think you overdid it. It's quite an awkward generalization to say that a species known for burning down villages has "a heart like a warm smile"

Praise
This poem has some potential. I really like the theme of the poem, and the words themselves were fairly interesting to read. You kept it short and to the point. Overall, pretty good work here, but definitely a lot room for improvement.

Keep writing!
Hadj

Well maby things have a way of reacting to things that happen as you said burning down villages sounds like something a dragon would do but that is the Ariosto type of dragons just because something seems intimidating does not mean that it is so. If it is burning down a village it may be the effect of it getting pissed of by something that that village did, everything has a reason and an effect for something that happened, but thank you and I will take your advice into consideration.

Hadj replied · Sep 29, 2014

I understand that's the point of your poem, is that the dragon may have a reason behind its actions. I just think that "a heart like a warm smile" is quite a statement. I wouldn't expect something with "a heart like a warm smile" to do anything slightly bad even if there was a reason.

You do have a valid point there and I mite not have worded this poem right and thank you I will think of that when I post another poem.

User avatar
Hassanfs
Review
Hassanfs wrote a review Review · Sep 24, 2014

Umm..so this was a very short poem. But in these few lines you made your point.
After reading this a few times, I still couldn't understand whether you were talking about dragons metaphorically or were you ACTUALLY talking about dragons :P
Maybe increase the length just a little bit. But yes, I do get the message in this.
Nice work!

Hassan

Thank you it was a first I will use your advise in later poems

PrehistoricEchoes commented Comment · Sep 24, 2014

I would write a review, but I'm not a poetry guy and I'd probably just end up spouting Dragonheart references...

HowlingAtTheMoon wrote a review Review · Sep 24, 2014

Hello, I'm Howl.

I love the idea of this poem, but I really think that if you added more to it then it would be even better than it already is. You give a few examples of the 'bad' things about dragons but there is only one good thing that they have in poem. Of course, this may all just be a review doesn't matter, but thank you for reading it anyways. Can't wait to see more of your work! :)

Thank you as well and I look forward to writing more



I know history. There are many names in history, but none of them are ours.
— Richard Siken