Young Writers Society

It was a rather plain office with only an ordinary looking desk, some plush maroon chairs set before it and a bookshelf that wrapped around the back side of the room. The desk had a few papers scattered across the surface as if someone had been working on all of them at the same time. Other than that there was an outdated computer on the left side, a heavily weighted snow globe on the right and a nameplate that read Rev. Nathan Thomas in the middle.

Yes, it was a small office, not that Reverend Thomas cared since he was a rather small man himself. A joke he would often make as the sheep would enter staring in awe at the walls. Three fourths up the wall a vast heaven had been hand painted in incredible detail. Rolling clouds painted in many variations of greys, whites and blues which circled the square room. Every inch of the cloud frame was different from the next with no repeated designs. The illustration all came together with a flowing swirl that connected the pieces together. If you stared at the mural for too long it was almost as if it was moving.

A top the clouds a unique spectacle was taking place where gods of every culture and religion sat together ruling over the Earth below. Rev. Thomas had spent months researching the different images of the Gods and what they were known for, before capturing his own ideas into a character that would be brushed into existence, displaying their different personalities and their different domains. Though the detail was unmatched what really made it a masterpiece was the way it flowed. Each individual entity was doing something, whether interacting with another sharing ideas on how to rule their land below, feasting, showing off, conflicting with each other or rushing to complete a task. The heaven was busy and alive with action, each deity accurately sticking to its nature coming alive off the walls. Those who were just looking at the painting would think that there were an endless amount of higher powered beings painted upon the walls. However Nathan knew there was 165 total having spent nearly three years working on his office mural.

The couple that walked into Nathan's office now came in search of his lordly advice, to mend a broken marriage. Immediately when they walked in, their gazes rested upon his masterpiece, unsure of what to make of it. The husband looking to avoid confrontations of love, asked the common question , “It's an odd thing isn't it? For a pastor to have images of so many different idols of worship?” The thoughtless often asked such things, unable to comprehend an answer worth giving, so he stuck with usual response:

“They are here to remind me that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is stronger, and more powerful than all those who have fallen before him.”

On que, a quiet “amen” escapes the woman, a bah response to the shepherd's call. She was probably unaware that she had even said it all. Yet, little did they know Jesus sat amongst the heavenly ranks, as they all did, hidden in plain sight directly across the Pastor's desk, and above where the couple took their seats.

No, he had painted it as a different reminder to himself that he would never share with anyone inside the church. For when he looked up at his office walls he would see these creatures of immense power. Creatures, that for thousands of years had been worshipped, just like the God that now resided inside Nathan's sanctuary. Millions of People just like Nathan, and the flock that followed, had slaved and sacrificed their whole lives giving up all of their money, time, and even their souls to please them. Awful wars were waged in their names calling upon them in blood and righteous murder. Millions lived and millions died for something to believe in. In the age that he lived in now all but a handful of these gods still existed written off as a creation of man. It made Nathan wonder of those people who gave everything for nothing. If man created something so powerful, with its only strength coming from the belief in it, then man himself is a God. For its not the acts of greatness that created them, but faith in that they existed. So it wasn't that Jesus was stronger than all the others but that he himself Nathan a man had created and destroyed all that had ruled before him.

The couple sat in their chairs just a little shorter than his own looking up at him as he started off the session by asking them about their problem. He had heard it all before many, many times. the faces change but situations never do. “He won't listen to me!” the stay at home mother cried, as she went on further to explain in immense detail the pain she'd suffered. Feeding out the hand of a man she says she claims to hate, then minutes later says she loves. “All she does is argue with me,” the husband fired back, who then proceeds to give Nathan a few short summaries of instances in which it happened. Back and forth, the couple tried try to look the innocent and say what they thought he would want to hear.

He loved counseling couples the way they verbally battled it out, carefully telling a story as to not look at fault, just to have their partner cut in with the forgotten important details. He would let them argue with a seemingly endless amount of stories, listening closely where both of them in their conflict would unite in one silent common goal, to please Him. Even in their lies he could hear the truth, of the pleasure they tried to give him to look better than their lovers next to them. Each sought favor from one above them whether they knew it or not, Nathan heard it all.

It would only take a few minutes for the Nathan to figure out the emotions they held for each other but he would let the continuous banter go on for about a half an hour before cutting in.

“Why are you here?” he silenced them.

“Haven't you been listening? We’re unhappy,” the wife answered for the both of them as the husband noded in agreement.

“And what? Do you think he controls your happiness, or hers yours? You may do things that displease each other other, but your reactions to them are your own. Whether he doesnt listen to you or she wants to divorce you, your overall happiness is still for you to decide.I want you two to look at each other” he commanded

They turned and gazed into each other’s eyes. “Think of when you two married and what about this person made you want to spend your life with them. Just for a second forget everything. All of the negative emotions you feel against them put aside. Instead think of every good aspect about this person the little details that made you love them. Past smiles past special moments shared that are yours and yours alone to keep, forever. Remember your wedding day and the promises spoken and how they meant more to you than anything in the world. Just take a moment to remember your love ”

He let them ponder on his for a few moments, watching as slowly the stress washed away and the man's corner lip upturned into a little smile and hers soon followed.

“Is she not what you once said you would give your life for, the most beautiful creature in the world? And him the person you want to father your children and to hold and care for you? To stand by your side when the world is at its worst. Are they not worth it?” he asked “Despite everything isn't your love for each other greater than any of your problems?”

Minutes ticked by as memories flooded their brains, washing away doubt and fear. Until their faces spread wide, still staring into each others eyes but unable to see from the tears trickling out. The couple both whispered yes at the same time and embraced in love.

“So why are you here?” Nathan offered again. “because I don't know” he said with a laugh and a warm smile.

It was sad how much a warm smile can instantly change the emotions of a room. It was sad how easy it is to project thoughts and feeling into someone. How with a few carefully placed words injected at the right moments can change a mind set to completely. He didn't truly know anything about the couple before him. What he did know was that all couples make promises to each other, and that most likely the man had, at one point, said he would die for her, being the strong male he portrayed to be. Nathan knew it was possible the woman's heart would go weak at the thought of her own children and kind softness would for the father.

All he had to do was guide their thoughts in the right direction and their emotions would follow. Tt was sad how pliable the brain was, like a mold of clay just waiting to be pressed in the right spots so they would think what you want them to think and believe what you want them to believe. Possible even, to Create memories with words and emotions that may never have existed. It’s sad, but it was raw power. Power held in Nathan’s tight grasp wielded with precision and deadly force.

Nathan continued the session in the normal manner giving little quips of advice to the happy couple. He told the husband to listen better and the woman to lessen her demands. To stay clear of their problems to lessen the chance of negative feelings entering his office again.

“Lastly if you love each other then love with your actions not your words,” he told them, “love the verb will create love the emotion.” Then Nathan had the couple hold hands and close their eyes in a prayer to their Lord.

Nathan’s eyes opened, and he looked at his children that sat before him. “Thank you for coming before me, begging, and in need of help. Knowing you could not do it on your own anymore, you came before your God offering what’s left of your marriage into his powerful hands. With faith you will be made whole and in faith we will see your marriage rise again out of the depths. I know it’s been hard but, it gets easier today. That even in the struggles ahead, I ask that you stand strong in one another.” Nathan's challenging eyes turned to Jesus in the heavens above the couple's heads. “When you ask for help look towards me for I will answer when others will not. God is alive and before you with a mouth that speaks and hands that work. He does not hide in the heavens behind the heavenly hosts, but stands with you through your trials. He will be there when you fall, always offering a hand to pick you up again.” a slight pause, “Amen,” their three voices said in unison as the other two pairs of eyes opened.

With that same smile, he offered his hand out to the two in a warm shake, giving his last goodbyes as the two thanked him with eagerness in their eyes to fix their relationship. Though in truth Nathan cared not whether it would stayed.

The door shuts and he looked at his, four o’clock. Two more hours to go before the end of the day. Everyone else in the building would leave within the next hour, while he stayed to council as many people as he could. Two more people would come to him today to seek council and voice when their own prayers had not received any. He looked at the name of the sign up sheet. Marcus Neever a young man of 18 seeking answers to questions about God and his existence along with advice of the future.

After a few moments of silence the solid oak door to his office creaked as the young man pushed the heavy door aside to enter the room, Bible in hand.

“Ahh hello Marcus, come and sit down. Tell me what's troubling you today?"

There was a slight pause as Mr. Neever struggled to think of the right words to say, and not look like a child. He wanted to be heard and treated like an adult, and have his serious questions answered..

“I need your help. As you know I’ve been in this church my entire life. I’ve lived and served without question giving most of my money and time, and I need to know if it's real. I need fact that it's not all for nothing. I start college in a month and from there my life. I have to know if there's something better to dedicate myself to.”

Nathan looked into the eyes of the man before him and saw intelligence He saw the ability to look at his life and question if what he served would pay out in the end? How should he go about this? One of the sheep trying to stand and be a shepard.

“These are common questions to ask at your age” he said steadily “not just common, but rather very healthy and should be confronted before they grow too long and too large to be dealt with. Now what questions do you have?”

Again the boy took a little time to form the questions that had been raging inside his mind for some time. Questions frowned upon by his parents, no doubt.

“ How can a God so loving and perfect design such a hateful and unjust world? Why would he make Hell a place of pure torture to send everyone who doesn't agree with him. How is it not different than the death camps of World War Two?”

Yes this boy was acumen, Nathan thought as he searched for the words to fire back uncertain whether to agree with him or change his way of thinking.

“God is a omnipotent, omnipresent being capable of thought far outside your own. While what he does looks to be wrong to us. It's impossible to come even close to understanding His master plan. You have to have faith in His design that the structure it builds will be stable. ”

He saw the hope in the young man, to have his questions answered, start to slowly bleed out. Mulling over the answer he was given only left a dry unsatisfactory taste in his mouth. The disapproval of the answer caused a stir in the Nathan's mind that someone could doubt his ideas, whether or not they were true. So he tried again.

“Of course, this is a reiteration of what you have already heard, I’m sure. Its an easy fail safe answer that we pastors give to our congregation to convince them that we are right, but it's not fact now is it? It's not fair to answer your deep questions that will shape the rest of your life with something like, you will never know, using words such as ‘faith’ and ‘trust’ to believe the unknowing.”

A little light came on in Marcus’ head, as he had someone finally agree with him, while otherwise surrounded by people who had only ever given judgement to his thoughts.

“So what do I do? how do I find out if God is real or not?” Marcus continued.

“I, honestly, can't tell you what to believe. It's something only you can answer. It’s something only you have the power to decide. You know the bible by heart, and only you can know if what you’ve read is real. If you have felt like someone heard your prayers, or if the dedication you’ve given has been worth it. you already have all of the facts you need to either invent a God to follow or leave and never look back.”

Marcus was a little satisfied for the first time. He finally had someone in a position over him say he had a choice in religion, but was still hungry for more. Somehow knowing his questions still hadn’t quite been answered. Was there fact of God's existence and was it the same one that had been preached to him for 18 years?

“What about you? why do you believe? You have to have some reason to give everything to someone you can't prove to exist?” Questioned the wide eyed boy. Smart, Nathan thought once again, as he pondered on an answer to give to the delicate clay of a person that sat below him. His eyes wondered up to the mural that lived above him. He watched as the deity's worked in unison, guiding the world in any direction that they desired. Toying around millions, like puppets, knowing that whatever damage they cause didn't really matter in the end. These were the gods he knew, the ones he had brought to life in a brush strokes of paint. He was the God of gods. He had created the masters of the Earth. A little chuckle bubbled out from him, as he looked into the eyes of the boy.

“Son, I believe in a God and that's a fact. I don't believe in faith of the unknown, because it will only leave you rotting in the sun like road kill. Now, do you want to know why? Why I work as the hand of being that can't be proven real or unreal? Because with his name, Jesus, there is power, and that is fact,” his voice rising a little now, “In the name Jesus multitudes have died under and for him and that is fact. It's fact that with an all powerful being named Jesus Men have grown blessed with riches and have dominion over every aspect of life. It's fact that God is real, maybe not something you can hold and point at and say this is, what it is, but present in everything. Just His name is something that has the ability to cause so much creation and so much destruction to the world. Even if He's not, if it’s proven somewhere down the line that it was all false, still will remain the acts of the men caused under the perception of a being existing. Doing more than I ever could with my own name and that's fact!”

Silence screeched in the room as Marcus sat awe struck trying to process everything that was just said. The intelligence in his eyes saw Nathan for what he was, but the faith he was born into his whole life fought against it. Unwilling to believe in what he heard writing it off as the lack the ability to understand. Pastors must serve God because they love him whispered his conscious. However, he knew when he looked at the middle aged man before him that there was love for something but he was unsure of whether it was for the God he claimed to serve.

“I want you to go home and read the Bible and diligently pray for the next few weeks. If God doesn't respond, leave it all behind. If you can't believe in this religion, then don't spend the rest of your life trying to convince others, including yourself that you do. Christianity doesn't need a doubters belief and I don't need a crack in the foundation I'm building my house upon.”

The boy nodded still in awe from the speech. The Pastor continued on to give Marcus a few passages in the bible to read giving a short definition of the meaning and questions to ask while praying. Writing them down on a piece of paper like a doctor giving directions to a ill patient.

“Until you make your decision, I need you to try and forget all your doubt and pray with an open mind that this could be real.”

“Yes sir, I’ll see you this Sunday,” Marcus responded, the respect emanating from his tone as he got up to leave.

“Good bye son. have a good night,” Nathan said, pretending to go back to his studies.

He stared at the papers scattered across his desk until he heard the door shut, thinking about his discussion with Marcus. How someone so young, would dare to stand against his law. God’s existence didn't matter, at least not to Nathan. Jesus, the being, more than likely was just like the deities of ancient past religions, nothing. It was the power that the name held that Nathan loved and craved. Hoping the boy would decide to leave as to not spread doubt in His church. Doubt was a disease whose hosts disgusted Nathan, whom would rather have them dead then walk through his sanctuary.

His eyes wandered to the snow globe on his right side. The image portrayed inside was of a beautiful cloudy day with little beams of sun shining through. His hands picked up the ball and shook it, changing the weather from a partly cloudy day to a slightly snowy day. He watched in childish amusement as the snow glitter would reflect against the sunshine in the perfect snowfall all created by his own hands.

Sighing, he put down the paper weight and look at the time. He still had another fifteen minutes before his next appointment. He got up and walked out into the church hallway, heading toward the bathroom. Most the lights were out as the custodian had cleaned and left about forty minutes ago. He was the only one left in the building as the sun was starting to set and shine through the windows in early december glory. He hurriedly went into the bathroom to do his buisness, rushing as to avoid leaving his final appointment waiting, if she came early.

To his surprise before he could start urinating he heard a muffled cry, as it struggled to penetrate through the walls. Nathan cleaned himself up as fast he could, still wiping his hands on a paper towel as he exited the restroom. He could hear the noise down the hall, around the corner, towards his office. The sound of an animal dying was the only way to describe it. He could hear the pure pain and torture in such a noise. It was that of someone expecting death. Nathan rounded the corner to find Ms. Kary Wilkins, his next appointment. She was a fairly recently widowed mother of a single child who was in the hospital sick with a rare autoimmune disease. It was the reason for their unusually late meeting tonight.

Kary looked as if she had not slept in days slouched against a wall to help prop her up as the mess of hair covered most of her face. The tears that had been flowing for what must have been hours carried the eyeliner down her face, replacing the faded streaks of the ones before. Nathan rushed to her side, he put his arm under her shoulder and carried her inside his office. She didn't seem to be aware of his presence as he sat her in one of the chairs and preceded to go to his own, across the desk.

“What's happened?” he asked putting as much care as he could in the words. She remained without acknowledging that he had said anything head down eyes closed with little sobs breaking through the parts in her matted hair. “Please,” He begged, “ just tell me what's wrong I can't help you if I don't know.”

Her head raised slowly and he could see in the light that there was no life left in her eyes her soul was dead; its throat slit and bled out in the mascara streaked across her face.

“Help me?” she whispered more to herself than to him

She looked directly at him, looking down on his sad soul that somewhat mirrored her own. The only difference that his was achieved through a differently means, perhaps willingly.

“How the fuck could you help me?” she screamed. Her pain being converted to anger to fuel the engine turning inside. It was as if it was the only thing keeping her heart beating and her body moving.

“They’re dead! They’re all dead! Everyone I love is gone! All the love that I have given to them, died with them. there's none left!” she screamed at him starting to become more awake to her surroundings sitting a little more upright.

“ Look whatever it is, it will alright you will be okay. I love you, and I’m here for you no matter what.” he said cautiously, He could sense the danger before him. The empathy was forced and he knew it was obvious as he said the words. He tried to be sincere, but the thing before him disgusted him beyond belief. A creature unable to maintain some kind dignity in his presence, even in the face of great tragedy, wasn't really worth living. She was weak and beneath him in so many ways.

She heard it though. She heard the truth as she looked into the soul, past the figure he portrayed. Nathan could feel Kary’s rage building more and more inside of her. With what she felt was strength raising past the hurt she was feeling.

“I will be okay?” she yelled in fury spitting on his plastic words. “when my beloved Robert was taken from me last year you said it would be okay! I believed you for my son. I showed strength and I blindly followed your emptiness. Then when James fell sick you said, ‘it would be alright,’ and ‘that God was in control. That the pain of a child was small in his greatness.’ I said okay, But now… now..” her words broke off into a spasm of sobs. “What now? What's left?” she breathed so quietly that he struggled to hear.

Her suffering fumed the air with a thickness. He remained still knowing nothing he said could gain control of the conversation as rationalization was being stripped from her mind.

“I'm so sorry,” he said anyways into the pain that clouded the room, unable to look at her when he said it.

“What can I say? what words could mend your heart? You are loved in this room. While I may not completely know our Father's plan he is with you. I am with you so please forgive me. ” He tried again putting every bit of believable emotion he had into the words. He even went as far as to force a few tears into his eyes so they watered up to the brim. While feeling sick of himself for groveling.

But she knew.

He could tell from the air in the office that she knew. He knew she could taste the condescension in his words, and she knew that it was all a ploy.

She, abruptly, rose to her feet, in an amazing grace bringing up with her a small revolver only a little bigger than her hand. She must have had it in her coat or purse, Nathan didn't know. However, he knew how real the threat was from the agony being directed into the trigger finger. This is why she had come, with no other reason than to gun down the one who had guided her into contentment with lies.

“Like hell you are. God he owes me more than a sorry,” she yelled, her eyes blood shot in hysteria and salty wetness. She was here at this moment seeking to misdirect her emotions to kill the God she had trusted in.

The explosion sent the bullet over his left shoulder, causing him to react into action with nowhere to fly. He fought, vaulting over the desk at her, But the second projectile caused an volcanic eruption that sprayed hot red liquid out from his shoulder and onto the desk. The hit sent him backwards, pulling with him the mess of papers, and knocking the snow globe off the side. The third shot rang out past his head as he continued to fall. The fourth sunk into his middle torso slamming him to the ground, and the final bullet broke the spine of a book on the back shelf of his office.

Kary pulled the trigger another two times before realizing that the gun was empty. She continued to keep it sighted in, as she moved around the desk to get a better view of her minister. To her surprise, while bloody as hell, he was alive slumped against the bookshelf. Though with the amount gore pumping out she didn't know for how long. She stared into his eyes as he shook in pain with his body starting to set into shock. While looking at the mess below, her mind opened up into the recognition of what she had done. Despite the lies he had guided her with in the last few years, the pain he was in was real.

Gasping, barely able to comprehend what she had become, she cast aside the gun in disgust at it and herself. The tears flowed free once more only harder for everything. Closing her eyes. Kary thought of her beautiful husband, and all he had given her before he left in a drunken crash. Then of her precious boy Thomas and the life he would never live. Still lying cold on a hospital bed. Finally she reflected on what it had driven her to do to this man. Who in fact had done nothing to wrong her. Everything was over. Everyone was dead. Pain bursted her back into reality as her shin cracked, pulling her to bowing knees.

Nathan scrambled atop the bawling women pushing her down against the book shelf knocking a few off. expressionless she looked up at him accepting the justified judgment. Clutching the snow globe he swung again but with this time better leverage slamming it into the skull of the bereaved widowed mother. How dare she think she could go against him, he thought as he brought it down again feeling the skull give a little with a sickening squish. Blood poured out from the mangled scalp covering the untouched face in crimson beauty. He was not a man who could be killed and forgotten. He was important and powerful. He was a God, and Gods never die. The last blow he delivered shattered the globe into her forehead causing the claret to spray over his face, bathing him in righteous glittering bloodshed.

A smile crept along his face opening his mouth enough to taste her liquid sins. Despite everything he was stronger, more powerful than ever. A little laugh escaped his blood drenched lips. He had prevailed as the almighty that he was. He started to use Ms. Wilkins body to try and get to his feet, but his legs buckled out from him, slipping on the blood he fell onto his back.

Nathan laid there unmoving eyes wide open looking up into his heavens painted above, while consciousness argued to exist. He could feel warmness spreading over his ribcage as sharp pains followed every breath. It didn't matter though he thought as he gazed upward looking onto his life's greatest work. 165 glorious faces looked down on him from their seats of power watching his great downfall. Some were sharing ideas on how it would play out, while a few laughed at his demise, taking bets on his minutes left. Others feasted in honor for his greatness sending messengers to spread the news. As they flew across the heavens shouting his name a few even started to battle it out on whether or not to save him. His divinity's home was more alive with activity than ever.

He searched from face to face till he found it. A self portrait of himself robed in splendor looking majestic and wholesome in a throne that was slightly above any of the others. Yes, it was a mirror image, Nathan pondered. Darkness crept through the corners of his eyes as he coughed up pockets of blood and lung onto his chest. Not even feeling the control of his bowels release as he defecated himself. The piss crawled up his belly, and warmly embraced the blood in unison. He was truly glorious.