Definition of a smile

Okay to start this review I will like to say that this was a piece of poetry that I enjoyed greatly! I can tell that you put a lot of effort into this. People will surely be able to relate to it, even though it’s sad. I agree with Shalie. But the way you started it innocently and ended it tragically was fitting. This is defiantly a way that people relate. So yes this poem pulled at the strings of my heart.
Okay now onto the way you wrote it:
I like the way you started each stanza about her innocence and how it had changed, also how it was about her ‘young age’. I also liked the way you had each 2nd line, 3rd line and so on relating to the others. How you kept the theme the same all the way through. A lot of poems like this have a change of theme in each half way. Keeping the ending the same in each stanza was very effective in my opinion.
In the first stanza the way you wrote it was a little strange for me over all. You say:
‘Young age with a young heart
and all she knew was love’
The first line makes sense as for the second line t confuses me. If she is so young why is it that she knows of love? But then again it goes with the theme I guess. But I can’t decide between the second and third stanza. They are both written really well, and they flow.
This is an amazing poem! And I enjoyed reading the whole thing! Keep writing and improving because if we don’t improve what happens?
xx
~Neverland

Hey Avidav!!! It's MysteryMe, here for a review

Just wanna say, I LOVE this. It really shows the truth about growing up, and it uses such simple language to portray your point that it's just... stunning. It actually reminds me of another poem I've read during school, though I can't recall the name.

I love how you ended each stanza with "And it was all she had ever known," and began each one with "Young age with a _____ heart." The emotional truth beneath every word was so amazing and very touching. I really liked it

Well, I hope this helped!!!! Keep writing!!! (Sorry this isn't much of a review XD, I didn't have a lot of time to write this.)

Hey! How about a review!

I liked this a lot, and I love how you tricked us with the title... I clicked on this thinking I'd read a cheerful, little, well-thought-up poem... SURPRISE it turned out to be much, much deeper. Which I liked.

OK, now I know this is poetry, and poetry often has different guidelines/rules.....But I just thought it might sound better with a little punctuation. A few commas, and such, would pour more feeling into your poem, I think. It would also just make it easier for us to know how you want it read.

For the part where you say;

Young age with a straining heart

I loved your poem. I love how the girl starts of with innocents in her life, then she is still innocent, but easily influenced by others around her, then she no longer as innocent and she has been hurt and heart broken. She cries out for help, but no one can hear or see her struggle. My favorite part is how each stanza ends with "Then everyone would smile and it was all she had ever known." Even though each one ends the same, each time it means different. Like how in the beginning its true smile and in the end it is a fake smile to hide her pain.

This is so beautiful and sad!