z

Young Writers Society


16+

Flightless: Chapter 3

by avianwings47


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Author's note in comments. Enjoy. :)

   

   

“Well, are you just gonna stand there with your mouth hanging open or are you gonna say something?” The girl cocks an eyebrow.

“You have wings,” I say dumbly.

The girl blinks. “Yes, I am, in fact, Avian. Don’t look so surprised. It’s not like you haven’t seen one before.”

“Not besides myself.” I continue to gape at her wings. In the shade, they look as dark as charcoal. I watch in awe as she folds them behind her back. Something about them seems so powerful. Like they’ve carried her across miles and miles of unforgiving skies. I wonder if they really have carried her that far. She’s not from anywhere near here, after all.

The girl’s eyes go wide. “What? What about your parents?”

“They’re human.”

“That’s impossible. Avians haven’t been born into human families in, like, forty years.”

I just shrug. I don’t have an explanation, either.

“So you’re telling me that you’re the only Avian in this town? And what about travelers or tourists?”

“Well, if you couldn’t already tell, this town isn’t very partial to Winged folk.”

“Yeah, I got that figured out pretty quick.” the girl rolls her eyes.

I suddenly remember the steady throbbing in my head. I wince and bring a hand to my temple. The girl frowns, eyes traveling to my wings, where she frowns even further.

“Listen, Goldie. I can help you out,” she pauses to warily glance around. “just… not here. If you come with me, I can get your wings all fixed up.”

I don’t understand how she’s going to fix a mutilation like this, but I don’t have any other options. “Okay.” I slowly rise, using the tree as support. “And, it’s Athiya.”

The girl squints at me. “What?”

“My name. It’s Athiya.”

“Oh! Right, of course. I’m Ravyn.”

“Ravyn,” I repeat. “Nice to—“ My vision sways as I move away from the tree. I stumble to the side, losing my balance. My wings thrust out in an attempt to regain my balance, the shortened feathers stark in comparison to Ravyn's full ones.

Ravyn rushes forward, looping an arm around me in support. "Woah, there." I can practically hear the frown on her face. "You might be in worse condition than I thought you were."

She holds her breath, glancing around the area again, before releasing the air through her mouth and pulling a phone out of her back pocket. She types a message using only one hand, her eyebrows drawn tight together. I close my eyes because the sunlight suddenly feels much too bright.

"Hey. Goldie." Ravyn's snapping fingers cause my eyes to flutter open. "We gotta get moving."

"It's Athiya," I remind her.

"Okay, Athiya, or whatever," she corrects.

She leads me across the grass, back the way I came. I close my eyes again since I don't need to focus on where I'm going anymore. I feel the adrenaline slowly seeping out of my body, replaced by an aching stiffness in my bones.

And, if I try hard enough, I can imagine that the plip-plop of blood dripping from my wings isn't blood, but rain. I can pretend that the water is washing away my wounds and making my feathers grow back. And it won't matter if I cry in the rain, because who will be able to tell the difference between tear tracks and raindrops?

It feels like we’ve walked ten miles before Ravyn finally comes to a halt. “Hey, wake up, sleepy bird. We’re here.”

Reluctantly, I peel my eyes open. Ravyn has led me to an empty street, concealed by old buildings and cracked pavement. I don’t know where “here” is, but it doesn’t look very promising. I turn my head to Ravyn, who is scowling at the road. My gaze drifts over to her wings, which catch in the sunlight. Vibrant blues and greens shimmer across her wings, an attribute only noticeable in the light of day.

Tearing my eyes away, I follow Ravyn's gaze, trying to see what she's so angry at. The air in front of me warps and twists, everything around it bending and turning. It starts melting like butter, right where Ravyn is looking. Where the air seems to melt, a giant black van stands in it’s place.

"What...What was that? What did you do?" I gape.

Ravyn drags me toward the van. "I'll explain later. Get in."

I shake my head, convincing myself I’m imagining things. Maybe it’s because I hit my head too hard, or I’ve suffered too much blood loss because what just happened can’t have any other realistic explanation.

Suddenly, it hits me. I'm getting thrown into a giant van by a stranger. I could be getting kidnapped. All the news articles I read told me to stay away from the Avians; that they were dangerous and shouldn't be trusted. Yet, here I am, in their hands, wounded and vulnerable.

I hesitate at the open door, one foot suspended in the air. I don't know how my body suddenly feels so stable, but my mind is far from it. Am I going to get hurt even worse if I step into this van? Do I really have a choice in the matter? Should I take the gamble, even though I'm practically guaranteed to lose either way?

"Oh my God," Ravyn mumbles. She steps out of the van, latches onto my arms, and drags me forward.

I nearly trip over the floorboards, and jump as the door slams behind me. My wings still haven't stopped bleeding. Now that I'm inside, I can't pretend it's raining. I can't pretend everything is alright.

The interior of the van looks like a cross between a camper, an ambulance, and a spy van that you’d see in a movie. One wall is filled with monitors and screens, all dark and turned off. The other wall has wooden cabinets and a countertop underneath.

"What the hell, Ravyn? You can't just drag injured people around like they're ragdolls!"

I snap my head to the left, startled at the voice. A boy lounges in a chair that looks way too comfortable to be in a van. A pair of sunglasses shaped like pineapples sits on the bridge of his nose, contradicting the worried tone of his voice. I'm so distracted by the sunglasses that I almost miss the deep crimson wings on his back, but when I notice them, I gasp.

“We have to get going, Cal. The longer we dink around here, the more likely we are to get caught and killed!”

Cal turns to me. “Ravyn tends to get anxious when she uses her Ability in public. Don’t worry, it’s nothing personal.”

“Cal! Are you stupid or did you not read the text I sent you?”

The two continue bickering, and I keep staring at Cal’s wings. They’re such a distinct color, it reminds me of something. Then, I look at my own wings and realize his feathers match the blood dripping from mine. Suddenly, I’m not so transfixed by his wings.

I think about what Cal said earlier. Ravyn gets anxious when she uses her Ability. Ability? What is an ability? Is that what happened when the van appeared out of nowhere? I already convinced myself that I just hit my head too hard, but what if I was wrong? No, there was no way it was actually real. Cal must be talking about something else, like how strong Ravyn is. Yes, that makes much more sense.

“Jeez, Ravyn, what’d you do to her? She looks like she’s about to have an aneurysm.” Cal looks at me with worry.

“Well, maybe it’s because you haven’t been doing anything other than—”

“Would you two knock it off?”

I jump at the voice. It comes from the front of the van, where two more Winged people sit in the driver and passenger seats. The man in the driver’s seat looks much older than the rest of the teens, who are probably around my age. His wings are dark gray, but the tips of his primary feathers are all neon blue. He turns around to glare at Ravyn and Cal, who have both crossed their arms with a huff.

“Now, can you both please help this poor girl, who has been standing there, injured, while you two argued.”

My eyes travel to the boy in the passenger seat, who still hasn’t said a word. His wings look like suck’s wings; mostly gray, with a stripe of green. I can’t see much of his face, but from what I do see, his eyes are closed, and his brow furrows with concentration.

I am in a van with four Avians. Not one of them has looked at me with disgust or fear. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted in life, I think. For people to treat me like I’m normal.

“Right,” Cal mutters, stepping toward me. “Listen, dude. You’re not going to understand much of what’s about to happen, but I need you to save all your questions until the end, alright? Otherwise, it’s going to take a long time to get you healed up. Got it?”

I nod, and I can’t help but say, “It’s really hard to take you seriously when you’re wearing pineapple sunglasses.”

“That’s the point!” He laughs. “Now sit.”

Cal points to a chair that looks an awful lot like an exam table, which again reminds me of an ambulance. I do as I’m told, though, silently grateful for the chance to rest. My head still throbs, my vision still swims, and my wings are still bleeding. I don’t know how long it’s been since Jay and his friends cut my feathers. It could have been years ago, for all I know.

The two Avians in the front quietly talk to each other, and the car lurches forward. If I was still standing, I probably would have fallen.

“She hit her head, right?” Cal asks Ravyn without turning away from me.

“Yeah,” Ravyn confirms.

“Hm, probably concussed, then. Shouldn’t be enough blood loss from her wings to cause problems. Some of those feathers will, though,” Cal mutters under his breath, all the while inspecting me with his pineapple sunglasses.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

“Athiya.”

“Alright, Athiya, can you extend out your wing as far as you can? Just don’t hit the walls.”

I follow his instructions, and even though I know he’s going to touch my wings, I still flinch as he does.

He snatches his hands away, muttering an apology. “Do you…not want me to—”

“It’s fine.” I grit my teeth. It’s fine.

“Okay, just tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable.”

I nod, even though I already know I won’t speak up.

“That pin feather needs to be pulled out. Do you want me to count to three or just pull it out?”

I instantly retract my wing, avoiding the boy’s gaze. “Can I just pull it?”

“Um, yeah, that’s fine, but it’ll—”

I wordlessly yank out the bleeding feather.

“—hurt,” he finishes.

“Does the other one need pulled, too?” I ask.

When he nods, I pull out the pin feather on my other wing, dropping both of the feathers to the floor. I don’t look at them; I can’t. Not when everything still sounds like rain.

Cal gapes at me for a moment before shaking his head. “Okay, you’re going to want to lie down for this part.”

I lean back slowly, scared that I might hit my head again. The van drives much smoother than I thought it would. I can barely tell that we’re moving.

“And remember, no questions until I’m done, okay?” Cal reminds me.

I nod. “Alright.”

A gentle orange light fills my vision. It reminds me of a bonfire, warm and nostalgic. I open my mouth to ask what the hell is going on, but Cal’s words remain firm in my head. No questions.

Instead, I turn to look at him. I can’t see his eyes, but from the way his eyebrows are drawn together, I imagine they’re closed. His hands extend out in front of him, palms facing toward me. The orange glow is concentrated in his palms.

The light swirls from his fingertips, wrapping around my limbs. It’s warm where it touches me, so warm it nearly burns. But it’s a nice warmth, like a hot shower or the summer sun.

And just like that, the skies clear, and it’s no longer raining. The warmth recedes, and the light dims. Cal takes a small step back, his mouth hanging open. My eyebrows shoot up when I see tears falling down his face.

“Ah, sorry.” He wipes his face. “It’s just a side-effect.”

I clutch my head, not because it hurts, but because it doesn’t hurt anymore. I can see straight again. I don’t feel off balance. And when I look down at my wings, all the feathers are back in place, grown out to their full length.

“What the hell just happened?” I gasp.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
39 Reviews


Points: 2808
Reviews: 39

Donate
Stickied -- Mon Mar 25, 2024 4:28 am
View Likes
avianwings47 says...



Goodness gracious this chapter was a pain. I struggled so much with Ravyn and Athiya’s first interaction. I also have no idea how concussions work, so correct me if I got anything wrong. This chapter is a very very rough draft because I honestly just wanted to get it over with since I procrastinated it for so long. Any and all suggestions are welcome, even if it’s just one tiny comment!

Shoutout to @RavenAkuma because you and Ravyn have the same name. (Again, I only use original ideas, guys! I do not plagiari-)

Also, you might be wondering: Where on earth does Athiya live?
The answer: I have no idea! I was originally going to find a town for her to live in, but then I decided that it would take too much research, so she lives in a fictional town somewhere in North Carolina. Have I ever been to North Carolina? No, but for the purpose of the story, Athiya needs to live somewhere on the East Coast, and North Carolina happens to be the lucky state.

Also, if you can correctly guess what Cal’s full name is,(Cal is just a nickname) I’ll give you 1,000 points. No joke; I will. Not gonna lie, I don’t even know if his name is a real name, though.
Hint:

Spoiler! :
It has something to do with his healing ability




avianwings47 says...


Also @Youbeaucupid wanted to be tagged for future updates, so here you go, friend!



User avatar
245 Reviews


Points: 22538
Reviews: 245

Donate
Sun Apr 14, 2024 9:17 pm
View Likes
Spearmint says...



because you like comments and i like writing comments, i will leave a comment! :3

And, if I try hard enough, I can imagine that the plip-plop of blood dripping from my wings isn't blood, but rain. I can pretend that the water is washing away my wounds and making my feathers grow back. And it won't matter if I cry in the rain, because who will be able to tell the difference between tear tracks and raindrops?

ahh so poetic <3

Tearing my eyes away, I follow Ravyn's gaze, trying to see what she's so angry at.

clearly it's the road. the road stole the cookie that Ravyn really wanted to eat.

A pair of sunglasses shaped like pineapples sits on the bridge of his nose, contradicting the worried tone of his voice.

what a slay. 10/10 fashion

But it’s a nice warmth, like a hot shower or the summer sun.

And just like that, the skies clear, and it’s no longer raining.

awwww we love our healers :]

“What the hell just happened?” I gasp.

you just got kidnapped by a girl who glares at roads and then healed by a guy with pineapple sunglasses. obvs ;)

my first thought was Cal is short for California, but that's not related to healing lolol
awesome chapter!!




avianwings47 says...


this made me so happy :')



Spearmint says...


hehe :D



User avatar
231 Reviews


Points: 40897
Reviews: 231

Donate
Sat Mar 30, 2024 8:13 pm
View Likes
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven... fashionably late, I guess haha. I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

This chapter was awesome! Ravyn already seems like an awesome character, and I love all the unique designs and characterization you gave the new Avians as they're introduced. Likewise, these abilities are really drawing my interest! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

No corrections or recommendations for content! If I were to really push it, I could recommend some sensory notes here and there, like the smell of blood from Athiya's wing. However, since Athiya is dazed and disoriented for almost the whole chapter, it's not a big deal and it makes sense for some details to be lost. So, great writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened...

This chapter was written very well. You really nailed Athiya's internal monologue, the complex negative emotions she's feeling, and for introducing three new characters and two abilities, everything was well-paced without a sense of info-dumping. One of my favorite moments was here:

I can imagine that the plip-plop of blood dripping from my wings isn't blood, but rain. I can pretend that the water is washing away my wounds and making my feathers grow back. And it won't matter if I cry in the rain, because who will be able to tell the difference between tear tracks and raindrops?


There was something incredibly poetic in the way you described what Athiya is feeling, and how she is trying to bear through it. Absolutely gorgeous and so detailed, big props there.

I love the variation in Avian wings you're showing, it makes them feel more unique. The iridescent black described for Ravyn's is so fitting and sounds so pretty ~ Also, I love reading about this cheeky personality of hers, with her opening line:

“Well, are you just gonna stand there with your mouth hanging open or are you gonna say something?” The girl cocks an eyebrow.


And her cute nickname for Athiya, "Goldie." Nice!

Since his character got put in the spotlight toward the end there, I wanted to remark on Cal; he sounds awesome! Between his healing ability and what sounds like a wild personality (with the pineapple glasses and all), he sounds like he'll be a lot of fun as the story continues. His wing color is really cool too.

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, descriptions were on-point, there was a plethora of detail to build up the moment, and the dialogue felt natural and easy to follow! Ah, and responding to your author's note...

You described a concussion well! The most common symptoms are headache, disorientation, nausea, fatigue, confusion, and blurry vision. More really specific ones are ringing in the ears, short-term memory loss, irritability, light sensitivity, and vision that's blurry and/or "seeing stars" (I'm not a nurse or anything, but I did a lot of research for the fight scenes in my own stories lol).

And thank you for the shoutout as well ^^

Awesome chapter, nicely done! :)

Image




avianwings47 says...


Thank you, Raven! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! :D (now it's time to figure out the next one%u2026)



User avatar
28 Reviews


Points: 215
Reviews: 28

Donate
Mon Mar 25, 2024 4:58 am
View Likes
KocoCoko wrote a review...



Hiya!! Koco (or Coko) here for a small little review! This'll just be my general thoughts and opinions on the work from a first-time read. :)

And wow! I am absolutely LOVING this series so far. Genuinely, I haven't been this excited for installments in something in a while! All the characters, tropes, settings (which I find funny, considering I've lived in rural NC almost my entire life so I can relate to the conservativeness of small towns), and plot just hit it off for me!

Currently, I am in love with Rayvn and Cal. We barely know them, yet they seem so interesting! I can't wait to find out what abilites are/how they're gained, and the reason they've come to pick up Athiya. Very interested in finding out their backstories and what their motives are!

I loved the writing in this chapter, too! It was very... hm, disorganized? Athiya can't comprehend what is truly going on around her, from shock and bloodloss, and so it's only natural that- since the story is through her perspective- we only catch glimpses of reality, and we aren't even sure what IS reality until her injuries become more managable. I love when writing and perspective is played around with and changed, so I was certainly hooked this chapter!

Overall, I'm very excited for Flightless! Add me to the taglist, if you can! I can't wait to see what's next for the Avians!!

This has been Coko (or Koco), and have a lovely day/night!




avianwings47 says...


Ahhhh thank you so much! I wasn't in love with how this chapter turned out, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm also glad that I got some renditions of Athiya's town correct, as I've done literally no research. I will say, though, that I, too, live in a small town, so that helps. I'll also be sure to add you to the tag list!



KocoCoko says...


If you want some extra details about the NC rural towns: terrible humidity, never consistent whether (it was 70 yesterday, 40 tomorrow) and red ants EVERYWHERE. Those hills can grow larger than a soccer ball in a day (especially after hurricanes or heavy rain.)




Obsessing over what you regret won't get you anywhere.
— Steggy