The day the Gods were dead

Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

This poem has a lot of small grammatical mistakes that didn't compromise the meaning of the poem too much. However, a few of these were too much for me to overlook. You said "my gaze fall," in the fourth line, where there should be an 's' at the end of 'fall'. There were many similar mistakes to this where there was no subject of the sentence. For instance, the line "Stumbled upon a spiky stone," does not have a subject, it just is. I really like your "A A B B C C" rhyme scheme, however, as it makes the poem flow like a river. I really loved the incredible wording of this poem and how much effort went into it. Make sure to write some more, because I will be following you from now on.

That's all for today. Keep writing amazing literature that inspires me to read and review them, and have a great Review Day! Let's beat the Blues once and for all!

~ZeldaIsShiek

Thanks for sharing this somber poem about how humanity finally cuts its own throat successfully after trying for centuries but failing. Reminds me of a short story I read once about exactly such a devastation after a Third World War. It began with the ironic words “We finally did it!” as if doing it had been some unconscious goal that mankind had always fervently been aspiring to reach. A sort of death-wish on a global scale. Reminded me of the myth of lemures inexorably heading for a cliff’s edge instinctively hell-bent on self-destruction. The poem is an attempt to depict the aftermath and it does paint some very gruesome pictures such as a red sea of bones, millions of tombstones, obsidian smoke which is deep black or brackish green.

Then the poem takes a biblical turn by bringing dead or absent God, a triumphant Satan and his rampaging tomb-urinating satanic lions who victimize the survivors. Then it introduces the question of who was really responsible for the devastation. Was it predictable? Had mankind been traveling inexorably towards this path all along?

As a reader, of course I am being asked how I personally felt while redig it and what my general opinion is in regards to its content and expected to provide a sincere response so that the writer might use it to improve his writing. Well, please note that each reader brings to the reader certain unique background which will inevitably affect how he reacts to any given poem. What one reader skims over another might rive another reader;s attention due to its religious or philosophical implications. One one reader might not notice will make another ponder or find flawed or beautiful. So with this in mind I will give you my honest reaction to this poem.

First, I like the subject matter. It immediately drew my attention. Why? Because for most of my life i have been hearing about a biblical event called Armageddon which describes a devastation somewhat similar to the one described albeit brought about by God himself and directed against Earth’s Satanically-established and controlled governments with the purpose of cleansing the Earth in order for the Millennial rule of Christ to begin followed by the transformation of earth into a global paradise as was originally intended

The reason I mention this is because the poem’s title seems to eliminate God from the picture but then introduces Satan as triumphant and gloating while his lions wreak havoc. Since this went completely contrary to the biblical depiction, and since you brought in a biblical characters of God and Satan, as Christian reader, of course it drew my attention.

You see, from a biblical standpoint, the during this devastation , not only are governments put out of action and God’s Kingdom replaces them,

Daniel 2:44 NIV
"In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever.

Revelation 20:3
He threw him into the Abyss, and locked and sealed it over him, to keep him from deceiving the nations anymore until the thousand years were ended.

By the way please don't donate points to me, because I don't care about the points and I like to write reviews for fun haha. <3

Your poem was very beautiful and meaningful. I love your use of vocabulary and imagery to describe the surroundings. I believe your poem encompasses the meaning of how gruesome, deadly, and unforgiving war is. Does the incorporation of the lions have to do with past greek mythology or other stories of some sort? This poem is entertaining with the dialogue of the lions and a detailed description of what was happened throughout the story. I really love the line "massacre of innocents, death's game show..". That line is such a true profound statement and metaphor. I do have suggestions grammar wise. At the beginning when you said "read sea" did you mean red sea? When you said "my gaze fall, on million tombstones.." since you previously were in past tense you should have the word fall in past tense like, "my gaze fell". Also when you said "standing in fear, beholding themselves, from falling apart," I think it would sound better if you said "they try to keep from falling apart." My english teacher reminds our class to avoid the use of present participles (-ing words) , especially if your writing is in past tense. You did use present participles throughout the poem so if you can try to reword that it would make your writing even more incredible. Also when you said "spread the silence drop dead." I think it would make more sense if you said "spread the silence which was drop dead." I believe it makes more sense that way because I was confused when I first read that line. When you said "or a result of path," I think you should clarify and say "or a result of a path," so you're talking about that specific path. In the line "not let the humanity sway" I think it would make sense if you said "do not let humanity sway." In the following line "save the peace, getting shred," it would be better if you changed that line to past tense. This way it could sound something like "save the peace which was shred". It would also make more sense if you said "Last hope is a truce thread.." instead of excluding that "a". Your poem was freakin amazing! I love it so very much! Keep on keeping on with your writing because you definitely have a talent.

This is a very powerful and deep poem. Keep up!