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Young Writers Society


16+ Mature Content

Chapter one (An Unnamed Mystery book)

by ashrenee0909


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

“Dude. I'm. Bored” Jace grounded, turning away from the TV to look at Farkle, who was perched on his bed. “Dude, shut up. It’s about to get to the good part.”He responded, never taking his eyes away from the flat screen. They had been binging Supernatural all morning through afternoon, but there was only so much Jace could take. He got distracted easily but don’t get me wrong, he loved Supernatural with a burning passion inside his non-existent soul, but he also had the attention span of a fly. Farkle sighed, he knew Jace could get like this, and he also knew he wouldn’t shut up until he was entertained again. “Well, what do you suppose we do then?” he asked. Jace thought and groaned because he didn't freaking know. Then his face lit up, “Join the hunt bro!”Farkle deadpanned,“Dude what are you talking about?” He asked. Jace smiled even bigger. “Supernatural: Join The Hunt! We have to join the hunt! We can be the next Sam and Dean...Farkle and Jace Winchester!” Jace started laughing because hey, that's pretty good. Farkle looked at him for a moment before beaming because that sounded like the best idea on planet earth.

“That sounds freaking awesome! Let’s do it...but it’s not like we can just walk down the street and find Casper The Friendly Ghost…” He trailed off, not knowing what to say. Jace smirked. “Heh, no worries. I got this. So, the other day during free period right? I was hanging around the halls ‘cause I had nothin’ better to do. So anyway, you know that bitch Kinsley?-” Farkle grimaced at the mention of her name, because yes, she was the biggest bitch in probably the whole entire universe and beyond.“Yeah, so she was talking to Whitney about how supposedly there’s this “abandoned asylum” out at the edge of the forest behind our college. Which I mean I want to believe, but the biggest lying drama queen herself said it, so I don't really know how to feel about it, but it’s worth a shot right?” Farkle looked like he was about to explode with excitement. He took a breath to calm himself, so he didn't start screaming from anticipation. “Um, what the fuck are we waiting for? Let’s go! Like, now!” He said, quickly getting off his bed and grabbing his jacket and starting to put on his shoes. Jace faltered, “But the sun's setting? It’s going to be dark...WHICH MAKES IT EVEN BETTER LET’S GO!” Jace ran and got ready in about a second, making sure to grab the flashlight as the headed out of their dorm room.

As they walked towards the forest, Farkle had his phone out looking for an abandoned Insane Asylum over the internet, “Got it. Mount Massive Asylum.”As always, Farkle drifted on into his little story mode, “It was abandoned in 1964. Holding one of the world’s most famous Serial Killers. Tate Kent, other known as, The Black Heart Killer. The man is known for painting his victims black, and before letting them die fully, he RIPPED the heart from their chest and ate it as that’s their last memory ever being alive.” Farkle smiled and looked over at Jace, “Maybe we’ll see Tate.” Jace smiled, “Uh, hell yeah! We better, or that’ll be lame. This better not be lame.” Jace mumbled the last part because he did not like lame things.

They had been walking for quite some time, as the sky started growing dark and the air grew colder, they were almost at the edge of the forest. The asylum should be close if it was still here and hadn’t been torn down because of construction. “Okay, I’m starting to get the feeling it’s not here man…I swear if we can’t find it I’ll be pissed.” Jace said, kicking a rock along as he walked.“Shut up and keep moving. We’ll find it eventually so keep your head up.” Farkle said, trying to be enthusiastic but Jace could tell he was growing impatient as well. Just when the two thought they would never find Mount Massive Asylum, the top of an old dark building could be seen above the tree line overhead.

“See, what did I tell you, Jace! It is here.” He smiled brightly. They walked slowly towards the massive building and found a gravel pathway leading up to the building. In full excitement, Farkle started running, stopping halfway, “Dude Jace, there’s a giant gate.” Farkle looked over towards Jace, “It's locked.” Jace smirked, “Well bro, looks like we gotta do some fence jumping! Hell yeah!” Jace yelled happily, running up to the gate and starting to climb over it. Jace was pretty athletic, but that didn’t make the gate easy to get over. It was huge, and there were spiked rods over the top of it. Somehow though, after a bit of struggle, Jace was on the other side. “Okay dude, are you coming over or do I have to go in alone?” He asked Farkle in a teasing tone. Farkle smiled and pushed open the gate, “Yea, I lied to you dumbass. It was open the whole time.” As he smiled, Jace softly punched his arm.“Next time, actually check.” The boys laugh and start walking towards the door. Jace looked into his bag for the flashlights and handed Farkle one. “Let's do this!” Jace somewhat screamed. The two were met with giant double doors that lead into the asylum, and with one final nod to each other, they went to push the doors open.

The only problem was that the doors didn’t open. Nope, they, unlike the gate, were locked. “Damn dude. Maybe we can climb through there?” Farkle pointed towards a hole large enough for us to walk through. “C’mon.” Dragging Jace along, Farkle ran through into the lobby, where the visitors would have checked in to visit the patients. Honestly, it looked exactly how you’d expect an old abandoned, torn apart asylum to look. The walls were dark with mold and dirt. The front desk was crumbling apart, and the floors had what looked like blood and dirt stains all over them. All the potted plants that had been alive once were dead, the dead leaves resting on the ground under them. The windows were cracked and broken, and the ceiling looked like it could cave in at any moment. “Welp,” Jace said with a shaky breath, “No turning back now.” Past what was once the check-in desk was a dark hallway, that seemed to continue forever, and honestly, it looked like somewhere neither of them wanted to go. On both sides of the desk were staircases, leading up to the second floor. “Okay, so it’s either the hallway of death or the stairway that definitely does not lead to heaven, which will it be man?” Jace asked, turning to Farkle. “Dude, we should go through the stairwell. It says here, Tate stabbed six people to death, including the head doctor. So Hell yeah!” “I swear you’re like a walking encyclopedia. Okay, that's fine with me, but you're going first!” Farkle smiled and walked up the broken staircase, and followed the blood stains up to an empty room.

“Okay, I just searched this room up. If there’s a blood stain leading up to room 176, you’ll supposedly meet the girl, who hung herself after she watched The Black Heart Killer murder her family. She was lucky to be spared her life. Dude, we get to meet Candice.”Farkle had a grin on his face slowly walking in scanning the room with his flashlight. Jace started over towards the shower room, “Farkle, somethings in there dude.” Jace slowly walked towards there as Farkle grabbed his wrist. “Don’t just walk in there!” Farkle looked at Jace with a bit of worry, “You don't know what will happen.” Jace just shook his head, “C’mon man, we have to check it out, you know we’ll regret it if we don’t.” Farkle sighed, closing his eyes in thought. After a few seconds, he nodded his head. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not going first though.” Jace’s smile fell at that. “What? What no, no way man. I mean I’m not either…” Jace looked back at Farkle, but he could tell that Farkle was serious when hesaidhe wasn’t gonna be the one to go in the shower first. Jace sighed, “Okay, looks like we’re doing this together...ready?” Farkle nodded. Jace grabbed his hand and together they ran full speed into the shower room, tumbling onto the floor once they got through the door frame, laughing.

Farkle was under Jace just laughing as much as he could before he heard a noise coming from the shower. He nudged Jace, “Dude, something is in the shower. I swear I just heard a noise from behind the shower curtain.” Jace stopped laughing and looked at Farkle before saying, “You’re joking right?” in all seriousness, Farkle shook his head. “It sounded like laughing dude.” Jace stood up and inched towards the curtain before Farkle screamed, making Jace scream and run. Farkle stood in the shower room laughing as hard as he could. “Dude! Not cool!” Jace yelled, smacking Farkle’s arm and fake pouting. Jace finally got his breathing under control, calming his heart rate. “Y-you freakin’ scared the crap outta me!”

Farkle stood there just laughing. “Well, if I hadn't scared you, would this have been a real experience?” As the laughing subsided, the boys walked through the asylum, heading up to the head doctors office. “Okay, this one is so much scarier. This is the Head Doctor’s office. Kithaniel Diggers. Strange name dude, but anyways, he was famous for cutting open the murderers to fill their bloodstreams with the blood of animals and injecting the mental ones with poison, so they would slowly die. Dude, that's scary as all Hell! Maybe we’ll see his dead body! They never could find the body, but are eighty percent positive he’s here. As there are multiple sightings. That's dope a-f dude!” Farkle looked up from his phone to see a terrified look on Jace’s face. “Uh..what the shit?”Was all he said, still startled by the gruesomeness of the story.

Staring back at the story, Farkle laughed. “Jace, dude, I’m sure it’s nothing. It could be a hoax.” he gently smiled hitting him in the arm. “There are only 18 cells unlocked apparently. Wanna go check them out?” The still, shaken Jace nodded his head and followed him through the halls towards the third floor. Seeing something shine in the back of a cell, Farkle ran towards it leaving Jace behind. “Farkle!” screaming through the hall, not seeing where he went, “Farkle! Dude, don’t scare me please!” He walked down the hall farther and saw what looked to be a body. “Farkle!!! There’s a body!” Farkle came back running to Jace’s side. “What do you mean you found a bo-” He paused staring at the lifeless form, “Oh my god….That's a body. It’s an actual friggin body!”

Farkle, becoming frantic, stared more, “We can’t call the police! We are trespassing! What do we do!?” Jace quickly grabbed Farkles arm looking at him. “Look, dude, it’s ok. The body seems to be old. So, please let's calm down.” As Jace spoke, a loud bang came from upstairs, making both of the boys jump. “What the frig was that?” Farkle stared at the roof above them getting low and hiding, pulling Jace to the side to get him to hide as well. Hearing the loud footsteps and what had seemed to be glass breaking, they sat quietly waiting. Too afraid to leave, in case someone was to be on the floor below.

Hours went back, what felt like forever, they finally got the courage to leave. Proceeding down the steps, and into the main section of that asylum, they ran out of the doors, and onto the soft muddy grass of the forest. “We witnessed a body dude. We really did! What the hell are we gonna do from here?!”Farkle said in his high-pitched tone. Jace knew, once Farkle was talking in his high-toned voice, he was on the verge of having a new panic attack. Calmly, Jace grabbed Farkle by the arm and looked him in the eyes, “It’s okay. I’m pretty sure out of all the shit I’ve learned in forensics, the body was old. We have nothing to worry about, other than leaving. Whatever that crash was hours before, is probably still in there. We need to leave. Now.”

After He had managed to calm Farkle down, they proceeded to run faster and faster towards the college.


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453 Reviews


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Reviews: 453

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Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:20 pm
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Lib says...



That. Is. So. Cool!

I absolutely love it! Its fabulous! And come on... You had to stop THERE?!
Leave me in suspense until I die! Lol! You have to continue or else... Uh... Something!
Great Job!

I saw a few mistakes here and there but that would take forever to look for!!

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500




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Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:05 pm
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lemonayyde wrote a review...



I absolutely love the character you have given both Farkle and Jace so far! It reminds me a lot of how I interact with my friends, so you did a great job in capturing that spirit! I do have a few little notes, but it's just to help readability and completely optional.

Big chunks of paragraph all at once can be hard to get through as a reader. Creating a new paragraph when a different character speaks or when an action is done for a different purpose can help break it up and flow a lot easier. For example,

"Farkle was under Jace just laughing as much as he could before he heard a noise coming from the shower. He nudged Jace, “Dude, something is in the shower. I swear I just heard a noise from behind the shower curtain.”

Jace stopped laughing and looked at Farkle before saying, “You’re joking right?”

In all seriousness, Farkle shook his head. “It sounded like laughing dude.”

Jace stood up and inched towards the curtain before Farkle screamed, making Jace scream and run. Farkle stood in the shower room laughing as hard as he could.

“Dude! Not cool!” Jace yelled, smacking Farkle’s arm and fake pouting. Jace finally got his breathing under control, calming his heart rate. “Y-you freakin’ scared the crap outta me!” "

Other than that, the only other comment I have is perhaps trying to use more senses to describe the setting and build suspense. Horror and suspense stories can really benefit from this, especially in scenes where you want to either have something "spooky" happen or want to do a fake scare, like how Farkle did to Jace. Describing the curtains and room around them, the smell of the abandoned bathroom, the chills Jace was feeling as he inched toward what he believed could be something hiding in a shower- all of this can really help set the mood, even if it does end up with a fake jumpscare!

Great job on this work! I can't wait to read more :)

-Lemon




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Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:27 pm
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potatoefry2001 wrote a review...



First I must say, this has been really refreshing to read. I have been feeling so weird and off today until I read your chapter. Your book has so far put a smile on my face. I am really drawn to Farkle's character right now. His character reminds me of my best friend, Logan and I really want to see if as this story continues they continue to be the same. Welcome to the YWS, I see you have just joined our big family! If you ever need to talk to someone or have someone to listen to you vent or get some things off your chest, you can always send me a private message. am here for you and so is everyone else that is a part of our "community." The Young Writers Society is here for you and we are glad you are here and writing for us! Anyways, Great Job was all I was planning to say... so Great Job!! 'Tato out. :D :D :D :D





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