Published November 18, 2012
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141,266 Literary Works • 674,332 Reviews
Hey ashly! Me here for a very short review! I'm not a poet and all, but I'm an avid reader, and there are just some stuff that you need to see.
Okay, so great start; serene and slow. However, I didn't appreciate the next part. The tone turned teenage crude from the beautiful tone. Adding really breaks the rhythm. Then asking for certainty drops it off. I really wish that you'd see this
Okay, so I understand the question mark. But does the container part need to be separated from the plastic? Another thing, the two final lines don't really work. It turned out that the uncertainty is so unsure that it became a bit weak.
These lines turned out to be really confusing. Try to use punctuation because readers won't know how and when to stop. Also, the essence of it is turned down with all those interjections like 'I guess' and whatnot.
That's all for today! I hope I helped
Yours indefinitely,
Alf
Hey! I'm going to give you a quick review. I'm not an awesome poet, nor do I review poetry well, but I'll do my best to be helpful. Here goes!
This was a very abstract piece, and I didn't pick up on the meaning. I think it's either an atom, or the narrator himself. I enjoyed reading the poem, it had a sense of mystery to it. I feel like the structure is choppy, and a little confusing. I prefer solid, bigger stanzas than I do this pattern in poetry.
That's just a matter of opinion, it's fine as it is, but I would do a quick proofread, there are some minor typos. 'I am human' for instance. But aside from that, your poem was very interesting. Keep up the good work!