All right, I know that their are MILLIONS of vampire stories out there. I know that this one starts out as most of them. But, I decided to throw in a twist. 
You'll find out when you read it.
Well, I hope you all enjoy it! 
**Edited as of Sept. 15**
_______________________________________________
PROLOGUE
He is still the only thing that I think about, all that I live for, and I know it is wrong…so wrong to feel the way I do. Especially for a human: a creature so weak and vulnerable. I hate myself for it, for calling him out in the dead of night. I despise my family who urges me to do the unthinkable. I cringe when I think of what I must do tonight. What I must do to him…
But I know that it is the only option if I want to keep him safe.
An owl hoots nearby and I flinch, hearing the unmistakable crunch of feet on the dried leaves. I breathe through my mouth, but his scent fills me with a longing that I still don’t completely understand; it makes my mouth water. I quickly stop breathing all together. His silhouette appears in the gloom and soon his vibrant cerulean eyes land on me. He smiles and anxiously ruffles his chestnut hair shot through with blonde. My insides twist when I see him and I frown. I can’t love him. It has to end tonight.
I know that part of me wishes for his blood, craves for his death; but another part of me wants to press my lips to his, wants to envelop myself into his arms and lay on his chest forever. I chew my lower lip, my hands curling into fists as a gust of wind blows his scent across my nostrils. It is a smoky, manly scent; it makes me lightheaded. I can feel my pupils dilate in response and my breathing nears close to hyperventilation.
He stops a few feet away from me, eyeing me with uneasy. I am immediately aware of my scarred appearance but do nothing to pull up the hood of my sweatshirt. I just dig my nails into my flesh to prevent myself from doing something rash. I have to control the urge, to use it for good. He flashes that adorable, crooked smile and I can’t help but grin back. “Sophia,” he greets, bowing his head.
“Isaac,” I breathe, his scent washing over me again.
“So…” he trails off, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.
I flash him a dazzling smile. “Sorry I dragged you out here in the middle of the night.”
“It’s all right.” He shrugs. I can see the hunger in his eyes and know that there is no where else he’d rather be.
It makes my breath catch in my throat.
I know my duty, though, and I press forward. “I wanted to talk with you,” I whisper, my voice unintentionally seductive. His cheeks flush an adorable pink. “I just wanted to talk,” I repeat, inching steadily closer. My eyes transform into their earthy green, and he is frozen under my hypnotizing stare. His scent fills my nostrils again—warmer and thick with adrenaline; it puts my salivary glands on overload. I can hear the blood flowing through his veins, his heart pounding. I see the main vein in his neck, thick with blood, pushing against his skin. I lick my lips in anticipation, and his eyes flicker with fear.
I freeze.
His fear makes my chest ache and I quickly hunch over, feeling suddenly ill. “Sophia?” His voice is thick with compassion. I feel his hand mold over my shoulder and I go stiff.
He is too close. One swipe and that would be it. One swift swing and he would be done. One bite and it would be finished. I need to control it, to use it to my advantage.
I look up and meet his eyes. They are swimming with bewilderment and I straighten. “Are you okay?” he asks, and I swallow, fighting back the urge to kill. I slowly nod, my nails creating crescent-shaped imprints in my palms.
Abruptly, my eyes feel wet and I tentatively touch them. Water droplets litter my fingertips and I scowl. [I]Will I always be weak?[/ I]
When I glance up, his smile is soft, and I feel my insides melt. Then a gust of warm air rustles the hair on his head and I am stunned. The scent is more powerful than ever before and I quickly loose control of myself. My eyes dilate, turning to a hungry brown; my mouth parts in a seductive grin; my hands smooth over his shoulders. His eyes widen when my lips taste his. They part under my soft persuasion and my tongue slips inside. He responds as any human would; he yanks me to him and buries his fingers in my hair. My hands explore his chest, and he moans in my mouth. His adrenaline is high and I can smell the sweet sweat excreting from his pores.
It is just like old times, our bodies fitting together perfectly. I think to when I had told him to leave me because of my disfigured body. But now I can’t find a reason why I would ever leave him, leave what we have. And now that I will change him, we will be together.
Forever.
My lips trail down his cheek and along his jaw. One of his hands finds the small of my back and he presses me against him. My tongue snakes out, lightly touching his neck. He shivers, and I smile against his skin flushed with gooseflesh. My teeth graze his neck and I smell the blood, salty and rich. A hunger so powerful flows through me and I kiss him passionately. He walks forward until my back is pressed against the trunk of a tree, our lips never parting. He moans again, and my mouth leaves his. My excitement is mounting and I don’t think I can hold it off any longer.
As the wind has stopped blowing, I can faintly hear the tiny voice inside of me holding off the monster I am. I don’t know if I am strong enough to fight it, if I can prevent the blood-thirst that I feel, if I am strong enough to control it. I have denied myself for so long and the hunger is unbearable. I run my lips across his jaw and his hands mold to my hips. His blood is louder, pounding in my ears. I can’t resist…I can’t resist…
My teeth make the smallest cut and a drop of blood stains my lower lip. He jolts, pulling quickly away. “Sophia?” His eyes are accusing as his fingers press against the cut. The drop of blood hangs precariously on my lip. I know that if I taste it that that would be it; Isaac’s life would end and I would be responsible. My tongue craves to taste him, to savor him.
But I raise a shaky hand to my mouth and smear the blood away. My body gives a violent shudder as I deprive it of the blood it so craves. It is for the best, my body too out of control to be able to change him at the moment. My only choice now will be to take him back to Philip and have him changed there when I am thinking clearly.
“And you were so close,” a velvety voice echoes in the forest. I cringe, guessing who the voice belongs to. Isaac, however, glances warily at me and steps further away. I know before it happens that we are surrounded. Ashton’s Coven steps from the shadows. They are all men and gaze furiously at me but for only a second as they all, in turn, glance at Isaac. “No!” I shout, gripping the leader’s arm. “Please, Rouke, have mercy!” I plead.
He laughs huskily. “I almost thought you did it. I almost thought you had the power in you.” He laughs sorrowfully now. “But I was wrong.” He shoves me out of the way and advances on Isaac. I scream and punch every bit of Rouke that I can reach. “No! You can’t do this!” I shriek. He orders two of his men to pin me against the nearest tree. I bite and scratch but it does no good.
Wet flows down my cheeks when I hear Isaac’s screams pierce the air and I crumble to the earth in a heap.
One bite and it was finished…
LittleBitCold:
I was the one who critiqued all of AshleyLee's chapters, so technically I was the one who "flooded the hole genre" with her edited chapters.
And by the way, that post was not constructive criticism. I'd try to put your words a little differently next time.
Kind regards,
KJ
First of all, you completely flooded the whole genre with your edited chapters. That's a little annoying. And second, I don't really like this story. I've read most of the chapters and I honestly think you're wasting your time. The cliches are spread thick and the characters are flat and the plot is entirely non-existent.
I would try to be nicer except that I haven't really seen anyone give you a review that really told you what you needed to hear. I think romance can be cute, funny, interesting, but you have made it insipid and dull. Sometimes I tell people just to edit when their stories end up being as cliche as yours, but it doesn't look like this one has much hope. The entire story is based on a cliche so there isn't much you can do.
Your writing, as in your talent with words, isn't that bad. But it is just completely wasted on this insult to all stories. I recently read a really good vampire story and I think you would benefit from reading it. Here's the link: topic34896.html
If you've already read the story it seems like you haven't learned from it so perhaps you should read it again.
I hope you decide to turn over a new leaf and stop wasting your time on a sordid imitations of a thousand other vampire fics. Feel free to read some actual books that might help you improve your imagination and perhaps gain your own writing style.
So you know I edited all of this on the actual manuscript, but want to get a least a FEW points for all that work, so I'll just post my overall chapter impressions.
PROLOGUE: So my main problem was how you began sentences so many times with "I". That needs work. But I do like the passion and air of mystery in this.
Yeah. That was it. We both know I had a buttload of more corrections, but I'm too lazy to post them on the computer. So enjoy looking at that pencil-attacked manuscript 
Going on.
StarDuster:
Thank you!
I'm glad you thought that this was unique. I'm still trying to break away from all the other vampire novels out there and I'm glad to hear that someone thinks I am steering towards that.
I'm glad you liked this!
After Twilight, I have tried to read other vampire stories and they aren't the same or in comparison...
However, I really like what you have going. From what I've read (I know there's a lot more to it, and this is just the prologue...) this is really good. Great job.
Also, as people before me have said, it already seems unique to the whole vampire thing. I like people who work hard not to make anything cliche.
I look forward to reading more!
-StarDuster
Angel of Death:
Hey, it's okay. I am just as overwelmed right now with trying to catch up with everyone's work. I am so behind on reviews....
But anyway, thank you so much for reading this. Right now, this is like my major project so I'm glad you stopped by and read it. It's okay about A Dreamer's Eyes. Whenever you get around to reading it, it's okay. No pressure
Well, thank you again for reading! It means a lot!
Whoa!!
Hey Ash,
Well, I must say, before I start, that I wish that I could have your luck. I mean I have Writer's Block constantly and when I do finally break from the streak anything I write doesn't turn out great...but this was amazing!!!
There were a couple of grammatical mistakes but if you read over you'll find them. They're pretty minor so its not that much of big deal. Also, the repetition of adjectives was another thing but it wasn't a big thing. It just bothered me. Try finding a different word for seductive. Just a suggestion.
All in all,
I can't believe this has been up here for like, forever and I haven't taken a look at it. I am so behind. I still have to read chapter two and three of a Dreamer's eyes. If I don't finish reading the whole thing, I hope all goes well and don't abandon it because I see you have quite a lot here that could probably easily be published because you are an amazing writer. Sorry if I couldn't be of much help.
Happy Writing,
-Angel
Night Mistress:
Thanks a bunch!
I know how busy you are with college and it means a lot to me that you take the time to read this.
Can't thank you enough!
hey ash,
it's a lot better then before.it flows more smoother than before too.
i like this version i alot better. i am thinking about going back myself and edited the first chapters.
but i like what i see here. the change was for the better.
i will have to check out the other some other time. i am busy with chapoter 6 for Poison love.
Good luck with editing and writing the other chapters.
lucyy
Wow...what a compliment...I'm seriously flattered.
I'm glad you liked it so much. And I also see that you have reviewed all of my chapters, which is such a task in itself that I must thank you over and over again! I made my day!
Thanks a bunch for reading!
Wow!! I love this, it leaves me wanting to read more ...
& I so wish I could write like you! Its breathtaking .. seriously ... 
I'm off to read the other chapters (which there are alot of!! lol so may take a while) but this prologue has really drawn me in, especially your writing style .. you write with so much depth & I loved the whole i'm in love with you but I want to kill you for your blood part (well I loved it all but that stood out to me the most)
I can't think of anything else to say except wow .. again 
... & already your story does sound unique of its own & has that something extra which Twilight doesn't (& I love that book, so I'm surprised this has taken my interest more than that!!)
Anyways I'm off to read the other chapters ....
Lucyy xx
estead:
You are too sweet!
And I promise, cross my heart, that I will try to make it unique (emphasis on try ) But I will work on it!
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Wow. You're so good! Lol. I only wish i could go so in depth with the whole kissing thing.
I am a Twilight lover so other vampire stories i critique harshly. But since this is just the prologue I'm not going to say too much.
I really like the idea of you going from the girl's prospective. When i think vampire i automatically think male so good for you for doing the opposite of the normal.
Please, please, PLEASE, try to stay away from stereotypical vampire stuff. Make it original as possible. So far its not quite there but i haven't read the rest of your story so i don't know which way you're taking it.
Anyways, I'm jealous of your writing ability in the fantasy area. I'm going to read the rest of your story so consider me a faithful follower of your book! Keep writing!
XoXo
Miss Morose:
Why, thank you for such a compliment, saying that my story has something extra compared to Twilight!
*beams at the thought*
lol
Thanks so much for reading it and Welcome to YWS! I hope you like this site as I have. And if you ever need anything reviewed or just to say hi...PM me!
Hope to see you around!
This seems like a very good start to a novel or a series, and it leaves the reader craving more. It is reminiscent of Twilight (I seriously hate that book) but it encompasses a depth in writing that Twilight lacks throughout which I admire. I look forward to reading your other stories!
Merry_Haven:
Thanks, Merry! Yeah, I know, but it is unique, I promise. It just starts out like all the other vampire stories. Promise!
I'm so glad you liked it so much. This story seemed to come easily to me, in a crazy sort of way! lol
Well, thanks again!
Hey ashleylee it's me, Merry. I've read your prologue and it's time to review!
Just like Night Mistress said I don't think I could write like that even if i tried hard enough. You are AMAZING!!! The way you describe everything is absolutely cool and fascinating.
I'm so sorry what happen to Issac. I thought he was cool and hot *blush*. I guess it's like this because it's the prologue...I'll just have to read more then.
Hey, wouldn't you love to live in a family of all guys? I would. Sophia's lucky to have that opportunity. I have to ask something. What's cerulean? Is it a shade of blue?
The whole blood lust feeling was so...I can't even figure out a word for it! I did notice that death floated within this story, but it does make a vampire story a vampire story.
Yes, there is a lot of vampire stories out there but it's only your choice to make it like the others. {I would like your story to be unique and different and not average like the others. That would be so cool, if that could happen.} Well, can't figure out anything else to say. I guess this was a long review...maybe the longest for me. But I enjoyed every word of it! So all in all this was a great prologue and keep up the great work! {totally sounded cheesy there.}
-Merry
~Off to read ch.1~
JabberHut:
Thanks so much for your review! I know, I struggled to make this original. Hopefully, new ideas will come that will make this better!
Night Mistress:
Thanks for your nice review! It made me smile!
Yes, there is a second chapter. But, I'm doing a complete rewrite of it. But, if you want to read it if you want and see what you think, you could totally do that!
Wow! i'm impress. i couldn't wrtie that good even i wrote it over and over. good job. i hope there is a second chapter to this.
Hello! I thought I'd stop by and see what you've got here, especially if you're so certain it's not our typical vampire romance.
Grammar and First Impressions
I breathe through my mouth, but his scent fills me with a longing even I don’t understand.
His silhouette appears in the gloom, and soon, [no comma] his vibrant, cerulean eyes land on me.
I know that part of me wishes for his blood; craves for his death. But another part of me wants to press my lips to his. Wants to envelop myself into his arms and lay on his chest forever.
I chew my lips; [comma instead] my hands curling into fists as I gust of wind blows his scent across my nostrils.
He is frozen under my hypnotizing stare and his scent fills my nostrils again, [dash instead] warmer, [no comma] and thick with adrenaline; it puts my salivary glands on overload.
We love our commas, but we must put them in their place and not overuse them. We don't want egocentric commas! I look up and meet his eyes.
He walks forward until my back is pressed against the trunk of a tree, out lips never parting.
“Owe!” he yelps, holding his neck.
But, I raise a shaky hand to my mouth and smear the blood away.
“Please, Carmen, have mercy!” I plead.
All I knew is that the MCs were love-struck. I thought "Hey! Nobody ever writes vampire stories from the girl's point of view! So, why don't I be the first one! Very Happy" lol (besides you, of course!)
If you have any questions, comments, requests, or anything, PM me! I'd be more than happy to help!
Plz should read as please. KJ:
Oh, don't worry. I won't give up on Isadora and Nicandro! I just needed a break from that and I got the sudden idea of this story.
I thought "Hey! Nobody ever writes vampire stories from the girl's point of view! So, why don't I be the first one! " lol (besides you, of course!)
Well, I'm glad you like it. And yes, puncuation is finally becoming second nature to me!
I hope to write more of this soon!
Thanks for reviewing KJ!
Wow, Ash, I like this. You never told me you were working on a new story... what happened to the Roman one? You know, the one I spent HOURS correcting?
Anyway, back to your vampire story. Besides a few missing commas here and there, your punctuation has drastically improved. As to the actual writing... I liked it. However, I don't like your beginning paragraph. I would suggest placing it elsewhere and starting this with the owl hooting.
So sad about Isaac. You have me wondering where you're going to take this, since you've already killed off the hot guy... or IS he dead? Hmmm...
And it's odd that you had such passionate kissing. You don't usually go into that stuff. You should, more often. You're good at it
Keep writing. I want to see more of this. AND I want to see more about Isadora and Nicandro. Don't give up on that one, missy.
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