z

Young Writers Society



-Inconcessus- Sixteen

by ashleylee


Wow, I haven't posted in so long! But I have found inspiration in my writing again. This chapter kind of opens up for the main plot. Hopefully it all makes sense and flows well. Of course, harsh criticism is always welcome, so go ahead, have a "Rip apart Ashley's Work" Party! I don't mind :wink:

Happy Reading!

__________________________

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The days passed without recognition and with slow alacrity. I spent most of my time either with Elena jogging in the mornings or with the group in the main room watching television. The house’s festive atmosphere grew steadily as the days turned to weeks as the holidays were fast approaching. With my own shopping and wrapping done, I watched as Walter’s Coven came and went daily from town with bags and gifts. I would watch the minute changes made to the cottage—mistletoe in the eaves, holly wrapped around the banister, a Christmas tree appearing in the dinning room decked out in full holiday attire of bells and an angel astride it. I found this site peculiar in a vampire’s home and I found myself staring blankly at the angel, wondering if there were such things as flying human-like creatures that grant miracles and works for something greater and beyond comprehension. I finally concluded that it didn’t really matter since I was destined for hell anyway.

I saw Philip more and more as I was confined to the house as the weather grew progressively worse. For the first time in over a decade, he seemed truly happy. Walter made him laugh constantly and Anita’s compassion made his once-hard heart soften. I found myself shocked more than once as he would approach me and greet me warmly. I thought after what happened at the old house, he would treat me as a child. But now, I almost seemed… equal.

One afternoon, I was draped over the couch, completely at ease, flicking through the TV channels with blinding speed. For once, I was alone and content with it. Carmen and Nora were actually being civil to me now, making an effort to be kind. Dover and Nate were still causing trouble and Randy continued to follow Philip around like a guard dog. But all in all, things were going well. I was finally settling into my new home and it wasn’t as bad as I previous assumed.

Michael and Rebecca came in then, talking in low, hushed voices. My eyes flickered to them and back to the TV before they even noticed my existence. “Sophia,” Rebecca greeted, her cat-like eyes bright.

“Rebecca.” I nodded once, making an effort to be courteous. Michael seemed to take that as a welcome to join me and they took the sofa on the other side of the room. They sat very close together and Michael would occasionally lean over and whisper in her ear. Rebecca would let loose a string of musical laughter that stung my ears. I felt my jaw tighten as another peal of chuckles erupted from the sofa. Sitting up, I paused at the Discovery channel and let the screen be filled with pictures of flamingos in mid-flight. Relaxing after a few silent moments, I glanced over at the sofa and later regretted it.

Michael had his arm draped over Rebecca’s shoulder, his nose nudging her neck as her eyes were closed, her hair tumbling down over her shoulders in loose waves. Disgusted, I fought with myself, trying to figure out why it bothered me. The obvious reason came to mind: that I disliked Rebecca and hated seeing Michael with her. But then a deeper meaning sunk in and I had to excuse myself, the couple barely noticing my escape.

Out on the porch, I was able to think clearly. The weather was colder, the lawn now fully coated in thick snow. The trees were bare, slick with ice and sleet and the wind was only a soft breeze so I was able to withstand the winter chill. Placing myself on the top step, I cupped my chin in my hands and gazed restlessly out into the woods. The light was fading, twilight approaching, bringing with it the full face of the moon.

It had been a month since I last heard that shrill cry of the mysterious creature. I wondered over it often, contemplating if it was in pain or needed my help. But then my rational side took over, telling me it was just an animal.

That’s when I felt the presence.

It wasn’t much; just a soft prickling at the back of my neck. I leaped to my feet in one fluid movement, hands tense at my sides, ready. I strained my eyes, but the murky light made it hard to see. Inhaling the surrounding air, I caught the scent of it… soft, light. I couldn’t pinpoint it and as I struggled to concentrate, they appeared.

It was hard not to jump back in alarm. One moment I was staring off into darkness; the next, I was looking into the eyes of an unfamiliar vampire—eyes that bespoke humor. Refocusing, I saw that the lips were curved in a smile, the face one of simplicity and kindness. The male’s lips parted when he saw me jump before he chuckled softly and took a step back.

“Sorry to scare you,” he whispered, “but I just couldn’t help myself.”

Frowning, I assessed him, noticing that he was average looking, border lining dowdy. His hair was a mop of brown that fell heavy on his head, curling demurely around his too-big ears. His smile was fading slightly when he caught me staring. “Sorry,” I mumbled, too slow to come up with something better to explain my evaluation of him.

He shrugged before place a finger to his lips. “Be silent. I want it to be a surprise.”

“For what to be—“

But I wasn’t able to finish because a hand from behind was clapped over my mouth. The smell of this vampire was strong and I let out a yelp at the touch of his skin on me—it was warm! “Sorry miss,” a man’s voice issued from behind me, the accent one of British decent. “Don’t want you ruining all the fun though, do we Ben?”

Realization dawned on me then as I yanked the man’s hand from my mouth. “You’re Ben?” I asked in amazement, my eyes scanning his frame once again.

He frowned more severely this time. “It seems that someone hasn’t been able to keep their mouth shut in my absence,” he growled, his voice almost too low for even me to hear.

Before the man behind me could speak, however, the lights above us flickered and Ben sighed. “I guess it won’t be a surprise after all,” he stated just as the porch lights turned on, illuminating Anita’s form.

“Benjamin? Is that you?” she asked quietly before she shouted with delight and threw herself into her son’s waiting arms.

“Hey, mom.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face and I took a step back, feeling suddenly out of place. Walter soon followed, hugging his son as well. Before I knew it, a small band of vampires were gathered in the yard, bathed under the shadow of light from the house. Standing in the front was a female of immense age and I knew her immediately.

It was Jasmine, the oldest vampire known to date. She was nearing her four-hundredth birthday soon, though she didn’t look a day over thirty.

“Jasmine?” Her name was stated as a question by Walter’s lips as he finally noticed the small crowd on his lawn.

“Walter, good to see you too,” she said with a smirk, not missing the surprise in his voice.

Not replying, Walter and Anita exchanged glances and that’s when they noticed me standing there. “Sophia? What are you doing out here?” I could hear the intensity in his voice and the atmosphere became tense, potent. I could sense that whatever purpose Jasmine was here for, it wasn’t for a celebration.

“I was just getting some fresh air and—“ I cut off before I could make an even bigger fool of myself, looking down at my bare feet.

“I’ll take her inside,” the British man behind me offered, taking me by the shoulders and steering me inside. I saw Ben follow his lead and trailed behind. Once the door was closed, I heard Walter and Anita descend the steps together and begin to converse with the others outside. The man still had not let me go and took me right into the living room, as if he had been here many times. Rebecca and Michael were already gone and I took their place on the small sofa.

“I can walk on my own, you know,” I snapped, abruptly irritated, knowing that the man didn’t want me eavesdropping on what was happening outside. Turning, I finally got a good look at him and shrunk back in fear. He was massive, bigger than Randy, with huge brown eyes and hair cut close to the skull. He had tattoos on both arms and he wore a sleeveless leather jacket and boots with spurs.

“Sorry miss,” he repeated, “Name’s Carl.”

“Hi,” I muttered softly, still trying to get over the shock of seeing such a huge person. I heard a chuckle and my eyes pinpointed the noise. Ben stood in the doorway, watching our exchange with amusement in his eyes.

“Don’t worry about Carl. He’s like a giant teddy bear.” Carl didn’t seem to mind the analogy Ben gave me and just smiled hugely down at me. “What’s your name?” Ben suddenly asked, fully entering the room and eyeing me with interest.

“Sophia Hunt,” I said, my voice gaining back its normal volume. “I came here with Philip’s coven.”

Realization came into Ben’s eyes and he nodded. “I remember dad talking about that. I didn’t think you guys would be here so soon.”

“Our trip did take longer than we thought,” Carl added.

Ben nodded in agreement.

“Elena said you were in Europe,” I blurted and then looked away in embarrassment.

I was surprised when Ben just laughed. “So that’s who you’ve been talking too.”

“What’s so bad that she talks to me?” a voice came from the doorway. All three of us turned to face Elena. Her eyes were immediately drawn to Ben’s. I saw several emotions flicker across both of their faces before they came together to meet in an embrace. I didn’t miss the look of honest adoration that had dominated Elena’s face when she saw Ben.

“I’m glad you’re back, Ben,” she murmured into his neck.

“It’s good to be home,” he replied back, their hug lasting longer than what was natural between friend’s. I cocked an eyebrow at Elena when they broke apart but she pointedly ignored me.

The front door opened then and Walter and Anita entered the home alone. They saw that several people gathered in the living room and joined us. I was hidden by Carl’s huge bulk and Walter missed me in his quick scan of the surrounding area.

“Where’s Jasmine?” Ben asked his father, looking him squarely in the eye.

“They decided to stay in a hotel in town,” Walter said forcefully, his voice stern.

Ben frowned and opened his mouth to reply but Anita stopped him, clutching onto his arm. “Not now, Ben. You just got home. No fighting tonight, please.” Her eyes were wide with pleading and Ben nodded stiffly, watching as his father stalked from the room. There was a moment’s pause before the rest filed out of the room, Carl saying good-bye for the night and heading outside to join Jasmine in town. Elena paused at the foot of the stairs and I halted, stepping back into the shadows, not sure if I should be watching but afraid to intrude.

“Ben.” She said his name in a soft whisper and he stopped, turning back to face her. “I have missed you.” There was no missing the slight waver in her voice or the prominent way she emphasized her words.

“Elena, please—“

She shook her head, cutting him off. “It’s all right. I understand.”

He gave a sound of frustration and met her at the bottom of the steps. With one swift movement, he had her face held in his hands, his lips brushing against hers. “I’ve missed you too,” he whispered, and I looked away in embarrassment as I heard him possessively cover her lips with his.

I heard her pull away and I couldn’t help but glance up. “You can’t keep doing this to me, Ben!” she cried harshly, her voice still quiet.

“I know…” he murmured, eyes intent upon hers.

She shook her head in frustration. “You have to make up your mind before I decide for you.” With that, she swept from the room, gone in a flash, and only a second passed before I heard her door shut, two levels up. I watched Ben’s jaw tighten as he gritted his teeth and then he vanished. At first, I thought I missed something. Maybe he was too fast; maybe I just blinked at the wrong time.

I quickly moved from my hiding spot and touched the place where his hand was just resting moments ago, the imprint of his skin still pressed upon the polished wood. I watched it slowly fade and knew that there was no way he could have mounted the stairs without one sound.

Confused and slightly shaken, I went up to Elena’s room at a human pace, giving her as much time as I could before I could delay it no longer. I entered quietly and saw her figure pressed against the window, her shoulders shaking softly, crying silent tears. It was a curse for us. It was never understood why we could never cry. Maybe it was because we no longer had a functional heart; maybe it was because we had no soul. Either way, when Elena turned to face me, her eyes were clear, no hint of what should have been tears, though her face was pinched in agony.

Quickly composing herself, she forced a smile. “What a night, huh?”

I nodded, unsure about what to say. Glancing at my bed, I quickly undressed and crawled under the covers. Elena still hadn’t moved, lost in thought, her face beginning to tighten as she fought back the pain. “Elena,” I called out softly. She twitched at the sound of her name but never looked at me. “You should get some sleep.” She just shrugged, turning back to look out the window. I bit me lip, wanting to talk with her but afraid to say anything because then I would have to admit that I had overheard her and Ben.

Deciding to say nothing, I turned over, letting my back face her, and fell into a dreamless sleep.


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Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:39 pm
Night Mistress wrote a review...



Hey Ash,

Sorry it took me so long to read this chapter. I have been buys writing fanfic, because I am re-read the twilight series over again to inspire to finish my chapter nine of Addicting Poison.

Any who. On to your review:

By reading this chapter, I suspect that Elena and Ben were having something more than friendship between them. What happen to them? You need to explain this in the next chapter or in a couple.

and when is Issac going to come back? I thought he was a major character in your story.

Anyways, Other great chapter. I hope you will pm me when you posted another and I will definitely let you know when I posted chapter nine up.

See ya around.




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Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:04 pm
200397 wrote a review...



Hi, Ashley!

Darn it, I'm always too late for a good in depth review. I should start working on my reviewing speed. :lol:

I really liked this one. Having Ben and Walter come back adds some surprise, especially the way they turn up. But my favorite was the Elena/Ben thing. The end of the chapter was very good.

If I were to write a long review, which I can't because I would say everything that has already been said, it would probably look like Sela's review. I think, because the rest of your writing is so perfect, you need to develop your characters and make us like/hate them. Especially the ones you know will play vital roles.

And yeah, right now I'm missing Isaac. I'm so curious about him, and at this point I'm kinda hanging on the edge of my seat to find out what exactly he is. I think you should move along with that story line, or give us something else about him to think about. :)

Hope this helped. As always, PM me when you post the next chapter. :D

~Sunny




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Sat Jun 06, 2009 3:21 pm
Angel of Death wrote a review...



Hey Ash!

I'm so glad you're back! Darn, looks like I'm late to do the nit-picks but there really weren't a lot and if you look at everyone else's critiques, you'll be fine. I love love love this story! And I like how you're tying everything together. Ben looks like he's going to be a great character and I really want to know what's going on between Elena and Ben. What does he have to make up his mind about?

You really have to continue writing this. This is an amazing story and you've worked so hard on it. The descriptions are great and the dialogue is believable. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Keep writing,

~Angel

P.S. Here's a gold star for a good returning piece




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Sat Jun 06, 2009 7:56 am
SuzieCake wrote a review...



So, I am completely and totally hooked. And I really want to know what the heck is going on with Jasmine and Walter.

Thanks for letting me know you posted. I thought I was never going to see chapter sixteen. =(

Anyway, though you didn't have a lot of grammatical errors or anything in that nature, there were a few and they're going to be in the attachment below. I hope it's helpful and if there are any questions feel free to PM me. =)

Later!




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Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:24 pm
Sela Locke wrote a review...



I think those others've gotten the nitpicks. I'm here to talk about the chapter itself.

It flowed well, mostly, although sometimes you put in words that don't quite fit; I'm not sure how you'd fix that, honestly. Just keep a sharp eye out for things that stick out the wrong way, y'know?

But I liked the chapter! Carl, though a bit stereotypical with the giant teddy-bear thing, seemed he might end up an interesting character, when developed more, and the conversation 'twixt Ben and Elena was much better than the past few conversations. Yay for improving!

I can't say I missed Isaac much. He still needs some developing -- you know how in some books, you like a character so much that when they're not in the scene, you're thinking, If he were there, he'd say this and it'd be soooo funny, or Why couldn't she be in this part? She'd be able to beat those stupid weasels up in a second!

With Isaac, though, it's like, Wow, I'm kind of glad he's gone for now -- so many less meaningful looks and cliche metaphors.

So make us like your characters! I want to wish Isaac is there when he isn't, I want to wish this chapter was over so I can get back to the riveting romance between Sophia and Isaac Italian-surname-I-forgot!

Anyways, thanks for the read. Just one more thing:

There was no missing the slight waver in her voice or the prominent way she emphasized her words.


The 'slight waver' is actually a pretty fresh, clear image - but then you ruin the good flow of the sentence with 'prominent.' What about...There was no missing the slight waver in her voice, or the passionate emphasis to her words. <<< That's not much better, but it's something of an improvement, anyhow.

So there it is. Word choice, better conversations, and most importantly, human characters. Let's take over the world, Ash!

I mean...good afternoon? -coughcough-

-SELA




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Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:25 pm
lucyy wrote a review...



Well, Ash *shakes head slowly* there was me, thinking you'd fallen off the face of the earth then BAM you post another chapter... Not that I'm complaining :wink: :D. We need to catch up sometime, but not now, as now is the time for reviewing... (:


The normal lucy-lu OCD nit-picks :wink: :

ashleylee wrote:The house’s festive atmosphere grew steadily as the days turned to weeks, with [s]as[/s] the holidays [s]were[/s] fast approaching.


ashleylee wrote:I finally concluded that it didn’t really matter since I was destined for hell anyway.

Ooh, touché :wink: .

ashleylee wrote:I saw Philip more and more as I was confined to the house [s]as[/s] and the weather grew progressively worse.

Watch out you’re not using too many ‘as’s in one sentence. (:

ashleylee wrote:I thought after what had happened at the old house, he would treat me as a child.


ashleylee wrote:Carmen and Nora were actually being civil to me now, making an effort to be kind.

How? Expand on this a little.

ashleylee wrote:I was finally settling into my new home and it wasn’t as bad as I had previously assumed.

Watch out for tense changes. (:

ashleylee wrote:I glanced over at the sofa [s]and later[/s] to then regret[s]ted[/s] it.
ashleylee wrote:lee"]Disgusted, I fought with myself,

In what way? To stop her mental thoughts, or to stop her wanted physical actions..?

ashleylee wrote:“Hey, Mom.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face


ashleylee wrote:Realization came into Ben’s eyes and he nodded. “I remember Dad talking about that. I didn’t think you guys would be here so soon.”


ashleylee wrote:“So that’s who you’ve been talking too.”

Only one ‘o’ needed, nix the other :).

ashleylee wrote:I bit my lip, wanting to talk with her


So, aside those small little details, I really couldn't find anything wrong with this (as always =D). Your writing forever amazes me, and this time you certainly don't disappoint =D. Even more mystery has been introduced... I especially want to know what's going on (or was going on) between Elena and Ben, but *sigh* I guess I'll just have to wait to fin out... I'm glad you're getting back some inspiration, hopefully more will return :wink: . Great job on this, ash.

As always, PM me if you need anything (or want to talk :wink:); *gold star* for great returning piece =D.

I hope you're having a great day, and Keep Writing!!
--Lucyy xx




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Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:38 pm
jasmine12 wrote a review...



one any only nitpick
In the last paragraph, you said "bite ME lip" when is should be my.

Ash! Oh my god. this chapter was amazingly written. Kinda short for my taste and left me wanting more! ha!

I would've like to see more from the creature though, since that is a huge part of the story. I'm very confused on that part.

And whats with all the secrets with Jasmine and Walter? That's werid. I would've though Ben and Carl might spill a little or something.

You have to continue writing. this is such an interesting story. You are a great writer, obviously keep it up.

Please pm me when you get seventeen up!!
Thanks for pming me

--Jas




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Fri Jun 05, 2009 5:23 pm
VehementWriter wrote a review...



[spoiler]
Red = My corrections or suggestions.
Bold = My comments.
Underline = What I’ll be commenting on.
[s]Red Strikethrough[/s] = Omit
= I started new paragraph.
The days passed without recognition and with slow alacrity. I spent most of my time either with Elena, jogging in the mornings, or with the group in the main room watching television. The house’s festive atmosphere grew steadily as the days turned to weeks as I’d use another word here… I’d say “since” or “because”, but they wouldn’t flow all that well… maybe “for”? the holidays were fast approaching. With my own shopping and wrapping done, I watched as Walter’s Coven came and went daily from town with bags and gifts. I would watch the minute changes made to the cottage—mistletoe in the eaves, holly wrapped around the banister, a Christmas tree appearing in the dinning room decked out in full holiday attire of bells and an angel astride it. I found this site peculiar in a vampire’s home and I found I’d use a different expression here. myself staring blankly at the angel, wondering if there were such things as flying human-like creatures that grant miracles and work[[s]s[/s] for something greater and beyond comprehension. I finally concluded that it didn’t really matter since I was destined for hell, anyway.
I saw Philip more and more as Same thing here. I was confined to the house as the weather grew progressively worse. For the first time in over a decade, he seemed truly happy. Walter made him laugh constantly and Anita’s compassion made his once-hard heart soften. I found myself shocked more than once as he would approach me and greet me warmly. I thought after what happened at the old house, he would treat me as a child. But now, I almost seemed… equal.
One afternoon, I was draped over the couch, completely at ease, flicking through the TV channels with blinding speed. For once, I was alone and content with it. Carmen and Nora were actually being civil to me now, making an effort to be kind. Dover and Nate were still causing trouble and Randy continued to follow Philip around like a guard dog. But, all in all, things were going well. I was finally settling into my new home and it wasn’t as bad as I’d previously assumed.
Michael and Rebecca came in then, talking in low, hushed voices. My eyes flickered to them and back to the TV before they even noticed my existence. “Sophia,” Rebecca greeted, her cat-like eyes bright.
“Rebecca.” I nodded once, making an effort to be courteous. Michael seemed to take that as a welcome to join me, and they took the sofa on the other side of the room. They sat very close together, and Michael would occasionally lean over and whisper in her ear. Rebecca would let loose a string of musical laughter that stung my ears. I felt my jaw tighten as another peal of chuckles erupted from the sofa. Sitting up, I stopped at the Discovery channel and let the screen be filled with pictures of flamingos in mid-flight. Relaxing after a few silent moments, I glanced over at the sofa and later regretted it.
Michael had his arm draped over Rebecca’s shoulder, his nose nudging her neck as her eyes were closed, her hair tumbling down over her shoulders in loose waves. Disgusted, I fought with myself, trying to figure out why it bothered me. The obvious reason came to mind: that I disliked Rebecca and hated seeing Michael with her. But then a deeper meaning sunk in and I had to excuse myself, the couple barely noticing my escape.
Out on the porch, I was able to think clearly. The weather was colder, the lawn now fully coated in thick snow. The trees were bare, slick with ice and sleet and the wind was only a soft breeze, so I was able to withstand the winter chill. Placing myself on the top step, I cupped my chin in my hands and gazed restlessly out into the woods. The light was fading, twilight approaching, bringing with it the full face of the moon.
It had been a month since I last heard that shrill cry of the mysterious creature. I wondered over it often, contemplating if it was in pain or needed my help. But then my rational side took over, telling me it was just an animal.
That’s when I felt the presence.
It wasn’t muchjust a soft prickling at the back of my neck. I leaped to my feet in one fluid movement, hands tense at my sides, ready. I strained my eyes, but the murky light made it hard to see. Inhaling the surrounding air, I caught the scent of it… soft, light. I couldn’t pinpoint it; and, as I struggled to concentrate, they appeared.
It was hard not to jump back in alarm. One moment I was staring off into darkness; the next, I was looking into the eyes of an unfamiliar vampire—eyes that bespoke humor. Refocusing, I saw that the lips were curved in a smile, the face one of simplicity and kindness. The male’s lips parted when he saw me jump before he chuckled softly and took a step back.
“Sorry to scare you,” he whispered.But I just couldn’t help myself.”
Frowning, I assessed him, noticing that he was average looking, border lining dowdy. His hair was a mop of brown that fell heavy on his head, curling demurely around his too-big ears. His smile was fading slightly when he caught me staring. “Sorry,” I mumbled, too slow to come up with something better to explain my evaluation of him.
He shrugged before place a finger to his lips. “Be silent. I want it to be a surprise.”
“For what to be—“
But I wasn’t able to finish because a hand from behind was clapped over my mouth. The smell of this vampire was strong and I let out a yelp at the touch of his skin on me—it was warm! “Sorry, miss,” a man’s voice issued from behind me, the accent one of British decent. “Don’t want you ruining all the fun, though, do we Ben?”
Realization dawned on me then as I yanked the man’s hand from my mouth. “You’re Ben?” I asked in amazement, my eyes scanning his frame once again.
He frowned more severely this time. “It seems that someone hasn’t been able to keep their mouth shut in my absence,” he growled, his voice almost too low for even me to hear.
Before the man behind me could speak, however, the lights above us flickered and Ben sighed. “I guess it won’t be a surprise after all,” he stated just as the porch lights turned on, illuminating Anita’s form.
“Benjamin? Is that you?” she asked quietly before she shouted with delight and threw herself into her son’s waiting arms.
“Hey, mom.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face and I took a step back, feeling suddenly out of place. Walter soon followed, hugging his son as well. Before I knew it, a small band of vampires were gathered in the yard, bathed under the shadow of light from the house. Standing in the front was a female of immense age, and I knew her immediately.
It was Jasmine, the oldest vampire known to date. She was nearing her four-hundredth birthday soon, though she didn’t look a day over thirty.
“Jasmine?” Her name was stated as a question by Walter’s lips as he finally noticed the small crowd on his lawn.
“Walter, good to see you, too,” she said with a smirk, not missing the surprise in his voice.
Not replying, Walter and Anita exchanged glances, and that’s when they noticed me standing there. “Sophia? What are you doing out here?” I could hear the intensity in his voice and the atmosphere became tensepotent. I could sense that whatever purpose Jasmine was here for, it wasn’t for a celebration.
“I was just getting some fresh air and—“ I cut off before I could make an even bigger fool of myself, looking down at my bare feet.
“I’ll take her inside,” the British man behind me offered, taking me by the shoulders and steering me inside. I saw Ben follow his lead and trailed behind. Once the door was closed, I heard Walter and Anita descend the steps together and begin to converse with the others outside. The man still had not let me go and took me right into the living room, as if he had been here many times. Rebecca and Michael were already gone, and I took their place on the small sofa.
“I can walk on my own, you know,” I snapped, abruptly irritated, knowing that the man didn’t want me eavesdropping on what was happening outside. Turning, I finally got a good look at him and shrunk back in fear. He was massive, bigger than Randy, with huge brown eyes and hair cut close to the skull. He had tattoos on both arms, and he wore a sleeveless leather jacket and boots with spurs.
“Sorry, miss,” he repeated, “Name’s Carl.”
“Hi,” I muttered softly, still trying to get over the shock of seeing such a huge person. I heard a chuckle and my eyes pinpointed the noise. Ben stood in the doorway, watching our exchange with amusement in his eyes.
“Don’t worry about Carl. He’s like a giant teddy bear.” Carl didn’t seem to mind the analogy Ben gave me and just smiled hugely down at me. “What’s your name?” Ben suddenly asked, fully entering the room and eyeing me with interest.
“Sophia Hunt,” I said, my voice gaining back its normal volume. “I came here with Philip’s coven.”
Realization came into Ben’s eyes and he nodded. “I remember dad talking about that. I didn’t think you guys would be here so soon.”
“Our trip did take longer than we thought,” Carl added.
Ben nodded in agreement.
“Elena said you were in Europe,” I blurted and then looked away in embarrassment.
I was surprised when Ben just laughed. “So that’s who you’ve been talking to[s]o[/s].”
“What’s so bad that she talks to me?” a voice came from the doorway. All three of us turned to face Elena. Her eyes were immediately drawn to Ben’s. I saw several emotions flicker across both of their faces before they came together to meet in an embrace. I didn’t miss the look of honest adoration that had dominated Elena’s face when she saw Ben.
“I’m glad you’re back, Ben,” she murmured into his neck.
“It’s good to be home,” he replied back, their hug lasting longer than what was natural between friends. I cocked an eyebrow at Elena when they broke apart, but she pointedly ignored me.
The front door opened then and Walter and Anita entered the home alone. They saw that several people gathered in the living room and joined us. I was hidden by Carl’s huge bulk and Walter missed me in his quick scan of the surrounding area.
“Where’s Jasmine?” Ben asked his father, looking him squarely in the eye.
“They decided to stay in a hotel in town,” Walter said forcefully, his voice stern.
Ben frowned and opened his mouth to reply, but Anita stopped him, clutching onto his arm. “Not now, Ben. You just got home. No fighting tonight, please.” Her eyes were wide with pleading and Ben nodded stiffly, watching as his father stalked from the room. There was a moment’s pause before the rest filed out of the room, Carl saying good-bye for the night and heading outside to join Jasmine in town. Elena paused at the foot of the stairs and I halted, stepping back into the shadows, not sure if I should be watching, but afraid to intrude.
“Ben,” She said his name in a soft whisper and he stopped, turning back to face her. “I have missed you.” There was no missing the slight waver in her voice or the prominent way she emphasized her words.
“Elena, please—“
She shook her head, cutting him off. “It’s all right. I understand.”
He gave a sound of frustration and met her at the bottom of the steps. With one swift movement, he had her face held in his hands, his lips brushing against hers. “I’ve missed you, too,” he whispered, and I looked away in embarrassment as I heard him possessively cover her lips with his.
I heard her pull away and I couldn’t help but glance up. “You can’t keep doing this to me, Ben!” she cried harshly, her voice still quiet.
“I know…” he murmured, eyes intent upon hers.
She shook her head in frustration. “You have to make up your mind before I decide for you.” With that, she swept from the room, gone in a flash, and only a second passed before I heard her door shut, two levels up. I watched Ben’s jaw tighten as he gritted his teeth and then he vanished. At first, I thought I missed something. Maybe he was too fast; maybe I just blinked at the wrong time.
I quickly moved from my hiding spot and touched the place where his hand was just resting moments ago, the imprint of his skin still pressed upon the polished wood. I watched it slowly fade and knew that there was no way he could have mounted the stairs without one sound.
Confused and slightly shaken, I went up to Elena’s room at a human pace, giving her as much time as I could before I could delay it no longer. I entered quietly and saw her figure pressed against the window, her shoulders shaking softly, crying silent tears. It was a curse for us. It was never understood why we could never cry. Maybe it was because we no longer had a functional heart; maybe it was because we had no soul. Either way, when Elena turned to face me, her eyes were clear, no hint of what should have been tears, though her face was pinched in agony.
Quickly composing herself, she forced a smile. “What a night, huh?”
I nodded, unsure about what to say. Glancing at my bed, I quickly undressed and crawled under the covers. Elena still hadn’t moved; lost in thought, her face beginning to tighten as she fought back the pain. “Elena,” I called out softly. She twitched at the sound of her name, but never looked at me. “You should get some sleep.” She just shrugged, turning back to look out the window. I bit my lip, wanting to talk with her, but afraid to say anything because then I would have to admit that I had overheard her and Ben.
Deciding to say nothing, I turned over, letting my back face her, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
[/spoiler]


Hey Ashleyy!!
I was soo happy when you PMed me about this chapter - i've been wanting to have a good read lately. I think it's a reality that the summer is just downright inspiring... in my personal case especially when rain comes, too, haha. So it's good to know you're writing againn, and I look forward to more, of course.

Anyway, this chapter was really great. The romantic sap in me really wants to know the story behind Elena and Ben, so besides the curiosity of Sophia's own story gnawing at me, now we've got this one, too. Didn't notice any issues aside from the ones pointed out above... personalization, as always, great... loved Carl's description and the awkward moment there, haha... and I also love a British accent... ha

»Sam.




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Fri Jun 05, 2009 5:00 pm
KJ wrote a review...



Hey Ash. I think I've already read this, but I just wanted to say I'm so glad you're getting inspiration again. Maybe it's the summer air - I've been writing again, too. So when do you want to go to the beach? We should print out each other's work and bring it like we did last time :)

Okay, I'll talk to you later. I love you, Ash.

Your best friend,

Kelsey





I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
— Dr. Seuss