Published September 27, 2008
The leaves had a wonderful frolic,
They danced to the wind;'s loud song.
They whirled,and they floated,and scampered,
They circled and flew along.
The moon saw the little leaves dancing
Each looked like a small brown bird,
The man in the moon smiled and listened,
And this is the song he heard:
The North wind is calling,is calling,
And we must whirl round and round,
And then when our dancing is ended
We lie with no writing or call.
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Loved it, though I think you put a semi-colon in as a type error at the start =)
this is a nice little piece,
i like your idea
however there a few things i want to point out...
1) possible typing errors in beginning.
2) also in fourth line of 1st stanza, i dont think you need so many commas.
3) 'The moon saw the little leaves dancing
Each looked like a small brown bird,' i think you could put a semi colon after the word 'dancing'
i hope these tips will help
this poem has potential, but just needs a little more work
i like the repetition in the last stanza btw
good work hope i have helped
bisquit