The moments now are with no sense
Present and future are in the past tense
Hilarious companions are drawing no smiles
A one-step road is like millions of miles
Brightening lights are rays in black
You can make a choice,
But you can never go back
The soul is broken.. roaming nowhere
Perishing inside.. rotting in despair
The sun is rising.. lights are out
Clarity's diffusion.. unreasonable doubt
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Epic expression but it could have been a bit longer
This is really good! I like how you've formatted it so it's in the middle of the page, too, instead of on the side, like most people do. It's really cool, and it highlights all of the sad emotions you feel. Sadness sucks, but it's also one of the most expressive emotions a person can have, and for you to write something so cool, I'd have to guess that you'd have been pretty sad when you wrote this.
I hope you cheer up soon, and thanks for posting such an awesome work, and letting everyone here read it!
Hope you have a nice day, and enjoy yourself! ^_^
(I think it's cool how "present and future are in past tense," makes a lot of sense. That's a pretty deep statement. Emotions distort a persons sense of time so much that the future seems to go backwards? I mean, that's really inventive. Well done! ^_^ )
Hi
I find it cool too formatting the poem in the middle, it's different. Thanks for the review & you too have a good day.
Hey,
This is a great poem. My only little nitpicks however are probably the lack of punctuation. For me it tends to kinda kill the poem in a way. Aside from that tho I really have no complaints. Its a beautiful poem and it rhymes very well. If you look at my poetry you will see it doesn't always have to rhyme so strictly. However, it can get kinda risky, living life on the wild poetry side. lol. I look forward to reading more of your work however. Nice job Keep writing.
Sincerely,
Collideascope
hey ^^ ya i never pay attention to punctuation. Thanks 4 the review
Wow... I really like this. It may just be me, but I really like rhyming poems. They just connect with me. But this one connects with me on a personal level. I love how you used the exact right word to describe the emotion, and how it all conveys to one. To me, this looks like a work written by depression. These works are always very intriguing to me, as well as my favorite kind. It's really good overall, and you are an excellent author.
Yours is a great work. An amazing one, in fact. Do not doubt yourself.