I used to hold my spirit, my quiet
will "
So I am quietly polite
I think I forgot, did not have a choice
I will give you, you will be able to push a devout later
All I have to, then standing at
You and me, hey, Carlos!
nodded to
Hear my voice, you hear
Thunder shook the earth
You and me, (hey!)
Organized for've've enough
I see all this, I refer to this.
Panther combines dance, warrior, fire
"My goal is to fight
For more than a lion, stronger
"My goal is to fight
Hear me roar
Now, it floats like a butterfly
Play as striped bee
I hurt my hero
You and me, (hey!)
nodded to
Hear my voice, you hear
Thunder shook the earth
You and me, (hey!)
Organized for've've enough
I see all this, I refer to this.
Panther combines dance, warrior, fire
"My goal is to fight
For more than a lion, stronger
"My goal is to fight
You will hear my cry
You will hear my cry
Lion hear me ... ...
Canoeing Romania can draw in Rome, Rome, rowing boat Rome
Panther combines dance, warrior, fire
"My goal is to fight
For more than a lion, stronger
"My goal is to fight
You will hear my cry
You will hear my cry
Lion hear me ... ...
Once again, this is a very nice and well organized poem. I really liked the story that it painted in my mind. Good job. This is very nice. I don't know how you can think of so many rhymes, I am horrible at rhyming. That is exactly why I leave the poetry to people like you. Well done. Keep writing and never stop. 
Hello there!
So, this is fairly interesting though I couldn't understand it much. I think that's where it lacks in, in clarity. The theme is fascinating and creative but not clear. I get the lyrical touch here, all right, but, again it'd be very awesome if you could make it more clear... ^^
At some points it sounds like a romantic poem, next moment it's humor- again I didn't understand. It's not bad- the combination of two or more emotions in poetry, (What bad! It must be awesome!) but, the very thing of your work is, it's quite confusing. :/
Like your previous reviewer said I'm not sure what you've tried to do here, so, either way, I'd be super glad to review a revised version of this! Good luck!
Royal here for a quick review!
So this has some issues, namely with consistency and conceptual cohesion. I'm not sure what's happening here, at all. I don't know what the speaker is talking about, what the random quotation marks are for, and why there are multiple sets of ellipses. I've no idea what the title is supposed to mean, or how it's connected to the piece. Maybe I'm just really really tired, but I cannot decipher any meaning from this piece. I think it'd help to find one image from this and expound on it in another poem; find details and get specific. The problem I think I'm having here is that so much is happening, and none of it is connected. So try to find a through-line that connects the ideas that you like in a way that makes literary and poetic sense.
So I really didn't get this piece; I think I'm either tired, or I need it to be read aloud by someone else, or I'm just not getting something that could be very obvious to everyone else.
Either way, I'd like to see the revised version of this! Good luck!
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