As I sit, sleep teases me
The sun radcinquepace
s grandeur
Over the Earth insects
As my eyes lick the room
There she sits, Miss Right
My heart is running like a lapwing
I am showering her with lovers sigh
Her beauty would nurture honeysuckles
And forbid the sun from intervening
Her beauty assets itself unapologetically
Her powers of beauty are medicinable to me
To the point of jealousy
But, I am just a lance ill-headed
Foul bait of an antic
My past speaks poniards and perturbation
How can I overmaster her with a metal heart?
It will only haste me sooner into the cinquepace
I have a viley cut heart that is
Allergic to truth and virtue
Therefore I fear infecting her grace
The north star
My wickedness has dictated
Damnation and rejects salvation
I may die as a bachelor
With broken memories
Oh noble gentlewoman!
Convert my sounds of blithe into tranquil music
For you are a pleasing remedy
A moral medicine, and I long to
Serenade your heart with my amorous tale
You're virtuous orthography are
A fantastical banquet
You have flooded me with soft delicate desires
My eyes negotiate for themselves
I am amorous on you
And beauty is no longer a witch
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139,607 Literary Works • 672,618 Reviews
Hi, I am Knight Teen, of the Green Room Knights, here to review your poem.
Okay, I am absolutely obsessed with Shakespeare. As in, I would marry the guy if he was alive and available. MAAN is one of my favorites, I have it memorized. So you get major brownie points for that.
Okay, while I understand the first line, the others draw a blank. What are you trying to illustrate here? And my spellcheck is telling me that the word I indicated is misspelled, but it won't give me the definition and since I don't know this word and where it is misspelled I can't look it up.
This is misspelled, unless it was intentional.
I think that the two biggest issues that you have (besides being totally awesome) is that you are severely lacking in punctuation and stanzas. These things help create a sort of rhythm, but not every author likes them in their work.
If that is your case, then please ignore me. Knight of Reviewing only here to help.
But seriously, if you show this to Miss Right, I highly doubt that you will die a bachelor. The way you manipulate your words to be so beautiful is amazing.
KT
PS: You are the recipient of my 250th review! Thanks for earning me another Star!
Hi arif,DK here with review.
This poem has a 'target' was intended to convey to the reader in a narrative form. I just want to show a little here that you may have overlooked.
1.your poem need punctuation
2.You may write a poem with free style, but you have to be careful when creating your poem rhyme. It may overwhelm the readers mood which prompted them to stop reading it.
3.diction-One of the most important decisions a writer has to make is what type of diction to use. Diction, is the style of writing used based on the word choice and usage. The type of diction that is used is mainly based on the appearance, sound, and meaning of the selected words the author wishes to use. In writing, diction is very important as it conveys the style of the piece the author wishes to compose.
Here diction you use is a little missed and do not showing the aesthetic quality should be given when writing poetry.
The descriptions are really odd here.I don't even know what you trying to show by using this words.(Please don't hate me).
But I like this part,very breathtaking!
Overall,you actually have a talent here,but just maybe your writing style is different,you ended this with a bit confusion.Keep it up!Good luck
Kudos,cheers.
Wow. You are really talented. I like the part where there's a confession. If this were something that you wrote about that was true I would suggest giving the "Miss Right" your poem to read.
Happy writing!