If a rose were made of music, it would sing a melancholy tune of love and pain. The thorns would sound as a cello, calling apologies to those they had hurt. The petals, a flute, would play softly as their memories trilled a symphony of "they love me, they love me not's". Suddenly a breeze would sweep the rose's sweet scent into a waltz around the garden, as chrysanthemums and tulips bowed to their queen. And in all the beautiful, cynical chaos, the stem, a heavyhearted violin, would weep, begging to be noticed.
Feel free to donate if you enjoyed my piece! I'm new and I'd love to get some of my other work on this site.
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,797 Reviews
Hi! I really enjoyed this piece! It was light, beautiful, and meaningful.
Welcome to YWS!
A word of advice for the future though. In order to post new works, we all have to review. That's what the site runs off of, is reviewing. You gain around 70 to 175 points, depending on how long the review is. Hope that was helpful! Reviewing is fun, and everybody is super cool about it, so don't worry about giving people your opinion or anything.
Hello, I'm new and I just discovered how reviewing works. I'll be sure to start as soon as school lets up on the math homework! Thank you for your review.
Hello and welcome to YWS.Even I am new here and it really feels weird to write a review.But, this is really good.The combination of a few sentences can really mean a lot at times.It is simple and sweet yet perfect in its own way.It is a bit short, try to extend it further.I like how you have connected the roses to various things and feelings like love, music, pain,flute etc.I also really liked the apology part.Well, overall the poem is quite good though I don't want to consider it as a poem.To me, it is just a bunch of sentences.But, I would like You to extend it further.Keep it up and keep writing....
Thank you very much!
Hi ariannastamper33! Welcome to YWS
I believe that this is an example of how just a small amount of sentences can go a long way. I love how you compare a rose to music and made an orchestra. I absolutely agree with charizard; you're very talented. But I also agree with some of the other reviewers that you could make it a bit longer- just my suggestion. You have a lot of potential. I'd like to read more from you so keep writing!
I appreciate your review. Thank you very much!!
For as simple as just looking at a rose and coming up with this seems this poem is simply amazing. I love the way you compared it to musical instruments. Coming from a musically inclined family I appreciate music on a whole nothing level and comparing it with my favorite flower is pure genius. I especially like the last line "And in the midst of it all, the stem. a heavyhearted violin, would weep, begging to be noticed." The violin is my favorite instrument of all. I just love this so much. I see you're new here also so welcome and good luck with your writing.
Thank you very much! I was really nervous about posting my poetry to a website where other's could read and review my work, and to hear that people other than my mom enjoy reading it is just awesome. :]
I know exactly how you feel. I'm the same way every time I post something. I never let anyone read my work, I feel like it's reading into my soul or something but I like the help and everyone's so nice about it here.
Hello there ariannastamper33. I've just read your poem and I must say, it looks pretty good. I enjoy writing the odd poem myself sometimes and I've been told I'm quite good at it. After reading your poem, I feel like I need to know more. Like the way the words were put together is drawing me in, making me beg to hear more. You are talented, there is no doubt. If I were to give one criticism, and this is just personal opinion, if the poem were a bit lengthier, I think it would be that much better.
Thank you very much for your words of wisdom!
Smartest idea I've ever heard. Secondly, welcome to the sight and great poem. I've always seen roses as the most conceited flowers who are always begging to be noticed, and you've just made them play an orchestra. I think you could add on to this though, not that it isn't great already. I'm not really sure how right now but it's your choice.
Thanks! I really appreciate your review. :]