Love

by aouther2b

Published June 22, 2010

This is a song that i am going to preform for my show choir spring show next year. Please Review
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What is this thing that we call love
We see it everywhere
Then why are we so scared of the thing that we call love

Love it makes the world go round
There aint the slightest of sounds
That can break the barrier called love

What is this thing that we call love
A timeless piece of space
I can see it on your face thats how I know your in love

Love it makes the world go round
There aint the slightest of sounds
That can break the barrier called love

What is this thing that we call love
Its between you and me
Oh why can't you see
I'm in love

Comments & reviews · 3
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tamtam97
Comment
tamtam97 commented Comment · Jul 15, 2010

punctuation and everything isn't a big deal right now....cause u have a wonderful ,fantastic choice of words!!!the song has a deep meaning and i am sure that it could be one of celine dion's songs some day!

User avatar
Nate
Review
Nate wrote a review Review · Jun 27, 2010

You may be singing this, but if you're posting it, you should at least run a spell-check on it. Otherwise, I'm left with the impression that you don't care about it.

Right now, it's unremarkable. Obviously, hearing it sung could change all that, but there's nothing special about the lyrics or words. Indeed, it reads like you just put together three cliches. But here's the biggest problem: it's emotionally empty.

You need to add depth to your work by sharing your inner emotions and feelings. If you don't do that, then whatever songs you write will be just a bunch of random words strung together. Go back to the notebook and write about how you truly feel.

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fiction903
Review
fiction903 wrote a review Review · Jun 22, 2010

I have it admit that I do not review lyrics too much so I decided to try it .
I think that you have a pretty good song but there is a few suggestions that I have for you...

I can see it on your face that's how I know your in love

I think it would sound better if you said and that's how I know your in love.
Oh why can't you see
I'm in love
Oh why can't you see
I am in love with you.

Are you giving a solo performance? If your not I would try to compose a chorus to go along with the song.
Lastly, I would try listening to a song called Every Day by Dave Mathews Band. It happens to be a song on the same subject and I think its lyrics might give you some ideas. Good luck with your performance. Pm me if you have any questions. Fiction



If fortis was here, we could have a teal party
— Pompadour