ABOUT POETRY
Poems are a way to tell
The darkest secrets of our hearts
But not everyone can do that
It is but an amazing art.
When our mouth fails
Our words speak
And give others of our heart
A highly encouraged peek.
Broken Trust
They blamed me for a fault of hers
In which I had a negligible part
They make me bear the injustices
A thing which takes my heart apart.
I was their friend from ages now
But they don’t have any regard
They are blind to others’ faults and on their will
From seeing my merits, they are barred.
It hurts my heart to think that
There is no one standing behind
No one is there to support me
Oh God!Is really no one kind?
They met her just in recent past , still
Above everyone ,she is favoured
She plays with them like best friends
And every moment she has savored.
All I’ll say is I am a bit envious
Of all the privileges she has got
They are dropping diamonds, picking gold
But that I’ll tell them not!!
-Anu
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140,836 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hello FlamingPhoenix here with a few things to say about your poem.
Let's start.
This was an amazing poem, I really loved reading this, The emotions behind your words were strong, and they came across to me making me feel the same as you did when you wrote this. I also love the choice of words, they are so strong and they came across to me really well, I couldn't have picked any better once.
I also love the story you are telling us, I really like poems like that. It's makes them so much more meaningful, and easier to relate to. In may case anyway.
Over all this was an amazing poem, and you should write more soon. I will be happy to read more. I'm glad I had a chance to read and share my opinion on your work. I hope you will post again soon. Have a great day or night.
Your friend
FlamingPhoenix
Reviewing with a fiery passion.
Thanks FlamingPhoenix for your fiery response.Let me know if you are a potterhead, a doubt which arises from your name
Your welcome.
And no I'm not a potterhead! XD
Oof I love this! I like the way you presented poems at the beginning. Even though I thought the beginning opening was quite slowly, Broken Thrust; on the other hand, (they blamed me for a fault of yours,) I love that! A slow opening=a bored auditor. So.. I liked this poem.. because of..
The rhymes. SOme of them were rather memorable..
The pacing. The sentences sound pretty good together
The style. Well.. the police and all..
The message behind. Is there one?
Etc..
I like how you respect the rules of poetry, but you should add more description. Extended metaphors (for example, all throughout the poem; a storm is compared to a dog) or just something you compare with to your feeling/ whatever else. You can start about seas and end with pain, start with fire and end with ghosts. I’ve seen that.. and it’s great.. and that’s what your poem lack- description and comparison.
Thanks a ton for reviewing so soon. Will be adding description and comparison in the next one i write. Sorry if it reduced the fun, but i hope the feelings were expressed clearly.
Oh that you did %uD83D%uDE0F