z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Please Stay

by antoniaa


My life has been pretty good lately, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm complaining, because I'm not. But I don't know, it almost feels too good. I'm so use to everything being bad for a while, then getting good for a little, and then have it all go back to being bad again. But its been good for a long time now. It kind of feels too good to be true. There's someone in my life right now that I really don't want to lose. And I know people always say you never really know what you have until it's gone, but I don't believe that's true in my situation. I appreciate him so much. I care about him so much, and I realize how quickly someone could just swoop right in and take him away from me and take him right out of my life. That honestly scares the shit out of me. And I'm so use to people coming into my life just to walk right out. It almost seems like that's what I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for him to walk out since I'm so use to it. But I really hope he stays. I don't know, I feel like I just don't deserve this, like I don't deserve someone as great as him. I feel like life is setting me up, just to knock me down. And I feel like that fear is holding me back from putting all of myself into the relationship we have. I wish I could actually tell him this. I wish I could tell him how much he means to me and how happy he makes me. But I have this weird feeling that telling him all this is going to make him want to run. It kills me to think about how I would feel if he walked out of my life. I need to find a way to let my fears go, because if I don't, I'm going to end up ruining this for myself.

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55 Reviews

Points: 39
Reviews: 55

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Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:07 pm
mb1221 wrote a review...



Hi antoniaa

Welcome to young voices. My first piece here was also about someone special in my life, so I actually feel really connected to this piece. You are doing an amazing job revealing your thoughts and feelings about that person you admire. Overall, this piece has a really good potential. However, I have couple of comments to make.

First of all, this piece could be extended a bit. To me, this is way too short. Maybe you could try to write something identical in an essay or monologue form. (Trust me, you are going to end up with the most perfect essay in the world when you are feeling not so happy). So, inclusion of more thoughts on this issue of yours could help a lot.

Secondly, the phrase "That honestly scares the shit out of me." did not fit well in here. I have absolutely no problems with using slang words/strong language, but this piece is something that reveals your feelings that are unsure, doubtful, unsafe... however you want to call it. So maybe you could consider trying to omit the swear words when you are writing a piece similar to this.

As I have said, though, this piece does have a potential, but could be much better if it had been longer.
Have a great day! :)




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50 Reviews

Points: 2243
Reviews: 50

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Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:34 am
GigiHarris wrote a review...



Hey there antoniaa! :D
Are you speaking about your own life? If so, I know how that feels. I really do.
Honestly, don't do anything about it. Just be normal and let it be. If you worry too much and be too careful, you might lose him.
Things are fine now and just enjoy yourself and relax a bit. I'm sure everything will be alright. Freaking out too much can jeopardize your relation with the guy.
Best of luck to you and all the other people who are feeling this way :D
~Gigi





I know history. There are many names in history, but none of them are ours.
— Richard Siken