Go on, keep fooling yourself.
You are free
Keep on whispering to yourself
As you walk the walk and talk the talk
You are free
You dare not speak your mind
You think highly of yourself; dominant, cunning and intelligent being.
You are a fool - deceived.
You wander the Earth and you destroy and when the cruel guilt sets in you fool yourself.
You work and earn and become a slave to your labours, you fool yourself thinking you are free. And when the radiance of youth leaves you and your skin begins to wither, do you understand that this world is a play and you a mere actor.
You lived your life, thinking yourself significant.
You, who spread evil did evil. You were under the protection of your youth. But when it faded, you crashed down from your high throne and realized a little too late what a fool you were.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,356 Literary Works • 674,380 Reviews
First thing I thought when reading this was, 'Loki, is that you?' XD
The first half sounds exactly like something he would say to us mere mortals, and the second half is totally describing him.
I have no idea if that is what you were going for, but it's totally fitting haha.
Little nit-pick - you don't need a comma in 'You lived your life(,) thinking yourself significant'
Other than that, this is a nice piece
Hahaha, i definitely was not thinking of him but now that you mention it i can't stop thinking about it. Thanks!!
I can totally relate to this. This is beautifully written and tells the truth of mankind-egomaniacs, cynics, criminals-most of the population of humanity is explained in this piece of writing (I suppose it could be considered a poem, but I'm not quite sure).
A few things that can be fixed, though:
-In the beginning you accidentally typed foling instead of fooling, simple mistake
-You repeat fool a little too much, I understand that it's the theme, but maybe you should erase a couple of them to make it a little less repetitive
Rather than that, it was perfect. A really beautiful piece, what a way to express yourself. Way to go!
~Prez. T
Thanks for the tips:)
Any time!