Do you remember,
that cold December
You used to hold me so tight.
The night we,
had that fight.
Now we're running around.
We're running in circles,
running in a cycle.
Hitting heads on wood.
The red is getting brighter,
nothing no fighter.
I just thought you should know,
I'm breaking the circle.
The cycle is over.
Forget December, yeah I'm older!
The smile,
We shared for a while,
it's gone
I just thought
you should know
I'm moving on
Now it's september,
and boy I remember.
I'm having flashbacks.
Your phone it is blocked.
My head it is cocked.
Do you seriously want back in?
We're running in circles,
running in a cycle.
Hitting heads on wood.
The red is getting brighter,
nothing no fighter.
I just thought you should know,
I'm breaking the circle.
The cycle is over.
Forget December, yeah I'm older!
The smile,
We shared for a while,
it's gone
I just thought
you should know
I'm moving on
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
hello , i would like to say that this song is pretty good and nice , the whole idea of" love..broken heart then moving on" is just soo great which makes me say that it's well structured song .
when i re-read it , i found that the chorus is long /that's if it's really the chorus ...but i said that according to the repeated part which is this one :
"We're running in circles,
running in a cycle.
Hitting heads on wood.
The red is getting brighter,
nothing no fighter.
I just thought you should know,
I'm breaking the circle.
The cycle is over.
Forget December, yeah I'm older!
The smile,
We shared for a while,
it's gone
I just thought
you should know
I'm moving on " ....so there's just two parts /verses left which make it a short song , again it's all based on the repeated part .
i would like to suggest to shorten the chorus, maybe just this part :
"We're running in circles,
running in a cycle.
Hitting heads on wood.
The red is getting brighter,
nothing no fighter.
I just thought you should know,"
i think that the rhyme is good , although some parts didn't flow good , but i liked your style of writing( the short lines , simple words , harmony).
overall , it's quite enjoyable and sweet and i can't wait to read more of your works .
Hey there! This was a pretty good start, for a song. I always feel weird reading songs when I don't know how the tune goes, but this one fared pretty well. I would agree with the person below in saying that this is quite the cliche topic, and I would love if you would put a bit of a twist on it.
In all, your rhyme scheme is fine. I would suggest going through this again, singing it, and put more into that helps it stand out and flow better.
Thanks for writing!
Hello Hsarver here to review your lyrics. I must say that the topic you chose to write on is very overused and very mainstream, which isn't bad, but I would have liked to see a more unique spin on it. Though the lyrics here aren't anything special, they do have some potential. The first verse kind of threw me off, the comma in the line "the night we" doesn't need to be there. I felt starting at the third stanza the song started to pick up for me, I could really see a beat/rhythm to it, and I could see it all fitting together. Picking it up in "now it's september" that should be capitalized it's a month. Aside from nitpicks, the line I'm having flashbacks seem a little awkward when sung with the rest of the stanza. Maybe because I don't know how it goes, but I suggest changing it. All in all, if I were to rate it I would give it a 5/10. It could use some work, but definitely keep writing. Good job!