Young Writers Society

hey, MomoandAppa, here to review!

i couldn't find any grammatical mistakes, but you don't want to break a bone. like, AT ALL. it hurts. so. much. i broke my arm a few years ago trying to do a cartwheel. at first, it hurts a lot. then it feels kinda numb. then you feel really cold and don't want to move your broken limb at all. when you have to get x-rays, those hurt a bit too. sleeping is the worst part, especially if you move a lot when you sleep.

anyway, all this to say, the poem itself is good. it's funny (in a weird way). i like it! keep writing!

Hey there anneonomus!

Just like the other reviewers mentioned, I saw the title and decided to check the poem out.
A catching title is always a good thing, so great choice.

I noticed the lack of punctuation and the fact there's only one question mark

(an arm, a leg, a rib?)

But it's most likely entirely a stylistic choice.
About the content- it's quite powerful and I'm sure it will make most readers react, and that's the most important thing in writing.

Personally, I've thought about breaking bones too, although in a different context, but people relate to the idea of pain differently

I like it, I'm a very big fan of poetry of the type, so well done.
I'm looking forward to the next one

I hope this helped!

D Fox

Hey anneonomus! I found the title of your poem intriguing so here I am for a review

First of all, I love the concept of this poem! The idea of wanting to create artificial excitement/danger/exhilaration in your life is quite relatable, and you put a really neat spin on it! I like how you compare it to breaking a bone, and also that you keep this comparison consistent throughout the entire poem - it gives the poem a sense of continuation which I really enjoy.

I also like the tone of this poem - almost goofy, and definitely informal, like the narrator is almost joking but not quite. (The side notes in parenthesis contribute to the overall feel of the poem really well, too!) The narrator trying to explain their desire to break a bone (the cast will be colourful and pretty! yay!) is also super clever.

The only critiques I have for this poem are veryyy minor.

(though plaster might be nice)

(I do still like the colors)

I’ve never broken a bone

I don’t know if I can

Hello man! I really liked your poem!
I think we've all felt that morbid curiosity about what would happen if we just did that one stupid thing.
I found it really interesting the use of the parenthesis, wich from what i understood, represented the toughts of the narrator, that by the way seems awfully innocent.
All in all, i found it a really fun read, i got a feeling that every choice had a meaning and this thing that i think should be commom place is really remarkable.
I hope to see more of you!

Hello, Stormblessed here!

Believe it or not, I can relate to this poem! When I was younger I would debate with myself whether to do something dangerous just to see if something would break. I never did, but kept thinking about it. Then three years ago I broke my wrist playing tag(accidentally.) Just a small fracture. But it hurt like the dickens.
It was an impact fracture, so there was pain all up my arm from bones I had bruised. It was agony the next day.
What I'm trying to say is, while I understand wanting to see what it's like, be thankful that it hasn't happened to you yet.

Besides that, I think you're poem is great! I like how you write it out, and I cant wait to read more of your works!

Hope this helped!
Stormblessed242