Extract the essence of my bones
to find a lack of love for living,
yet an affinity for breathing.
Break the barrier of my brain
to discover a deathly doorway
from which I will return by Monday.
Dissect the darkness of my heart
to admire callous attitude
with an aptitude for gratitude.
My bones, my brain, my heart… myself.
A living gateway to love and pain
chasing a life I´d die to obtain.
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Hi! I'm SpaceSnickerdoodle, here to do a review!
I love the imagery and description in this poem. It fits together so well, like a puzzle, with the interesting words and the rhyming. The topic is also something that, as the previous review said, the reader must figure out for themselves using the brilliant grammar and description.
Some lines I especially loved were:
-"dissect the darkness of my heart, to admire callous attitude, with an aptitude for gratitude"
-"a living gateway to love and pain chasing a life I'd die to obtain"
-"extract the essence of my bones, to find a lack of love for living, yet an affinity for breathing"
It was just so nice. it almost sounded like the lyrics to a song, metaphorical and not as straight-forward, which helped pull the reader in and really think about it.
I like it! Great job! ^^
-Space
Thank you so so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it:)
No problem. ^^
A very well-written enigmatic poem that challenges the reader to ponder in an effort to understand its essence. But even without or before understanding entirely what it means I found myself admiring the language and the imagery and the imagination that it takes to produce it. I also found it a bit humorous to be inviting someone to mess with your bones, brain, and heart in order to discover truths about the speaker.
To me it's like saying
"Come on! Crack open my skull so you can see how I feel." Or "Come on, I dare you to eviscerate me so you can see what I ate for dinner!"
And then proudly proclaiming.
"My skull and my gut = me!"
Ahaha! I've never thought about it like that, but you're right!
Laughs aside, thanks for the review!
I was right in the middle of writing the review when the computer proudly announced that it was shutting off in order to install some updates. So instead of just coming back later I stopped and posted. Then I worried about how it was going to come across. Thanks for your patience and sense of humor.