Published August 30, 2011
She’s running
Till she sees a line of people standing
In each she seeks love
In each she seeks an escape
From the monster of a frozen heart
But nobody sees her
Nobody will listen
So she embraces the monster, for its all she found
She embraces a frozen heart, for that’s all she knows
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140,946 Literary Works • 673,776 Reviews
Hey Anna,
I really like the poem, I loved it actually. But I do have some corrections and suggestions.
Okay so only real suggestions is lose the old timey speech. Just like using 'For' so much.
Thats all! Nicely done!
PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!
-Boo
This poem is marvelous! It gives me a dark feeling, with a sort of desperate ache in my heart.
It made me think of desperation, a girl seeking love, but finding only ignorance. I can really relate to this.
I love the you depict a monster, and this part: "So she embraces the monster, for its all she found" gives me a vivid picture. It makes me think about what happens when you let someone fall into despair. To neglect them, so all they have is this "monster..."
Again, wonderful poetry
This is a beautiful poem. I'm not good at writing poetry myself, but I like reading it. What I see. what I feel when I read this is a girl, looking for the love she deserves, but has never gotten. She feels alone, and to guard herself she hardened her heart, froze it. She runs from the pain of loneliness, but when she see's the line of people, standing there, she see's the possibility of love, of an escape from the loneliness ,the hollowness of that frozen heart of hers. But when no one pays her any mind, she falls back into the only thing she's ever known. She falls back into the numb, hollowness of loneliness.
keep it up
Or at least that's what I see. Sometimes I read to much into things. I love t he poem though
Peace
Beautiful poem. I picture a young girl who's never been loved, but hopes to find those special people to love her. I'm not sure if that's what you portrayed in this poem, but that's what I got from it. You kept it short and sweet, and I liked it. I would have even loved to read more. Make it longer, maybe? Why is she running? Why is she seeking escape? Details are the most important part.
Overall it was excellent. Can't wait to read more from you!