Published December 27, 2009
I met you in the summer,
With your crazy green eyes,
And your crooked smile.
You stole my heart
Just by saying "hi".
And I don't mind.
You can keep my heart
If I can steal yours in return.
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140,928 Literary Works • 673,751 Reviews
This poem was extremely kawaii! it may have been short, but it was fun to read. This is like a poem about falling in love in high school. Again, very entertaining and I hope to read more from you.
Kman134, out!
This was a cute poem. Very brief and to the point. My only real critique was the second to last line.
You wrote:
And for some reason, I really felt like this disrupted the flow of your whole poem. Personally I think it would read better if you wrote:
Also, punctuate your poem just like you would a regular paragraph. Put commas and periods were you would naturally pause. You don't have to capitalise each line, unless it is following a period. Hopefully this was helpful. Good job!
Thanks for catching that! ^^
I like it sounds like a facebook status
In the second line I think you meant "Your crazy green eyes" instead of "You crazy green eyes,"
Short + Sweet = My kind of writing
lol
3/5