She is the one,
Who wants to fly
In her eyes,
She is a butterfly
To others,
She is just a girl.
She is the soul
That everyone left.
She never asks for the dreams,
She only asks for one wish
From her heart-
To be allowed
To choose her own life
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141,502 Literary Works • 674,760 Reviews
Hello there!
Queenie here!
This poem is so beautiful and simple at the same time!
Let me see,
Yeah, this is really common, especially in my country. It still exists, sadly. Some people still think that we girls are only good for marriage. Screw the people who think like that. Poor girl, she only wanted to life her life.
This part is beautiful, and it is my favourite part. She just wanted a life , to be free, to do what she wishes for once. Free, like a butterfly and soar up in the sky. She sees herself as something useful, but everyone else sees her as a waste of time, only good for marrying off.
It would be a little better if you added a little more detail to some parts, such as how the girl felt and the butterfly. Did she feel like taking off into the sky, breaking off from the chrysalis of decisions made that are not in her favour?
Otherwise great poem, keep writing!
Queenie
Hey, angeltreesabino! This poem immediately caught my eye and I love the metaphor and imagery of the butterfly. It's so short and simple yet holds such a deep meaning beneath. Alright, into the review.
She wants to break free, she wants what she's never been given. She sees herself as a butterfly, as something beautiful. Yet, to everyone else she is just a girl. Something useless and a waste. Only good for marriage.
I really like the lack of detail. I think it adds something to the poem. But I do think you could add some detail to the butterfly. What kind it is, or simply just the color. It could help develop this girl even a little.
Two lines that are the hardest hitting in the entire poem. I have no critiques here.
Something so simple. The fact that she is denied this basic right. I have one thing here, and it's really small. But add a comma after 'allowed'. I think it would help it flow a bit better.
Overall, I loved this. The simplicity of the writing and the deep, deep meaning beneath it. This is amazing.
Keep living and writing!
AJ
👍
Thank you 🤍