The window spoke with a tapping, but really, i was screaming in pain. For outside, it wasn't rain, but hail.. Numerous chunks of ice that looked to me more like golf balls. It was as if the clouds were batting thousands of softballs onto our yard. I stood, almost helplessly, since all i could do was just stand there, and watch everything outside get pommeled with hail.
Soon, I heard some hail slam into our roof. Its eerie thumping made even the loudest thunderstorm sound like a lullaby. Each piece viciously pounded into our home, turning a peaceful evening into a living nightmare. The sight of a blank sky captured my peripheral: its aqua blue hue now white as paper. When it was all over, our beautiful street was now a war zone. Fallen tree limbs, leaves scattered as far as one could roam, and broken power lines mark a dark moment in my childhood. However, all was not lost. I was reassured by neighbors that, to every storm, comes an even brighter sun. I picked up a small chunk of hail to explore its secrets, when the sun's light was reborn, and so was the blue sky that was alive just before the hail.
I never saw a poem that has paragraphs versus stanzas. It was a little hard to read for me. I'm used to those pauses in poetry that can really connect the reader. There was some capitalization and spelling mistakes I saw upon reading. For instance, "pommled" is actually "pummeled". And just remember to capitalize your "I's". Some things I really liked were your comparisons. I thought "Its eerie thumping made even the loudest thunderstorm sound like a lullaby." was a great sentence. It was an interesting read.
Hello there here is a me with a review for you it may not be very big or very good but my excuse is that it is for review day and that I have just woke up.
I also really like the way you put the window has pain if that is what you meant.I really hope this little review helps you out.
First of you need to hit the space button when you begin your paragraph it would make it look quit a bit better.
Here is another one I think the "i" should be a "it" or you should have capitalized it like this "I".
One more problem you don't write poems like this at lest I have never ever read one.
One really good thing about this is how you explained it that was really good almost like I was there.
Well your spelling was good and punctuation and such.
Well until alter "Good bye and may god be with you."
Hopes it helped.
Forgive me if I rambled cause I do it quit a bit so if I did "sorry".
~Jon~
Great job Anjekat. You did a wonderful job bringing this piece of writing to life with your use of imagery words and power verbs. However, I would choose a better title that fits more with this literary peace since it's about a storm. Great use of similes "...like golf balls.." Keep Writing! Hurtado