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141,312 Literary Works • 674,341 Reviews
Hello ancientfire33 and welcome to The Young Writers Society!
I'll be honest with you in this review. Part of me truly thinks this poem was wonderfully thought out and that you put a great amount of work into thinking of it. Another part of my mind slightly dislikes this poem. Let me explain why in the following paragraphs.
This poem has many great, well presented qualities to it. I think that your most talented aspect as a poet is the emotions that you dwell upon. The not completely linear structure of the poem and the phrases within it have a great affect on the readers - or at least this reader - and help with the pacing of the poem.
Personally, my favorite stanza is the one that lies in the middle of the poem. Even though it's the stanza that has the least amount of words within it, the lines that in this stanza give off a sense of emotion better than the other stanzas, at least in my opinion.
Now, if this review is to be helpful in anyway, I'm afraid that the positive comments about the poem will have to end. If you don't enjoy a tad bit of a negative review, I recommend that you stop reading.
The fact that the first stanza doesn't seem to have the same font as the other stanzas doesn't help that much with the reading of the poem, at least in my opinion. I don't know if you did that for dramatic affect or to make the poem literally look nicer, but it doesn't really do that much to better the reading of the poem. In fact, during my experience as reader, it distracted myself from the actual poetry.
In truth, the fact that poem was in a different font from most other poems was more of a distraction than not. I realize that you probably wish to make this poem stand out in a way, but the best method of doing this is making this poem stand out in terms of quality, not in how it's presented to us as readers. If this was a novel or text book containing an example of poem, then the font and text would be a little bit more excusable but here it doesn't do anything to better the reading experience. If you wish to make a stanza more important than the others don't attempt to accomplish this by literally making it bigger than the rest. The best motto to live by, whether it be in literature, contests or anything is to show and not tell. The changes in font tells us that these lines are more important than the others instead of telling us.
Don't let my negative comments bring you down. This was a well done poem in terms of words and meaning. While the font did distract during the reading, it didn't great too much of a negative affect. Next time I recommend simply leaving the graphic of the poem as they are.
Keep on writing!
Ben Dietz.