My days often tend to exist like my mind state mirrored
On one side serendipity echoed with the failure I feared
Half happiness plus elation with clarity sprinkled on
Half pain failure and disappointment where love is gone
How can I bask in the sun when there’s fog in the sky?
Why are my feet on the ground if I’m supposed to fly?
There’s no way I can shine with weights on my back
I just can’t move forward, there’s a certain drive I lack
Almost all around me treat me like a whore or a rat
Please tell me I don’t deserve to be treated like that
I know I got problems and dealing with them is tough
I know because I got a roof I don’t have it that rough
I swear I’m not as bad as you keep making me feel
I’m not really that sour right beneath the peel
Could I be just as worthless as you demonstrate?
I don’t know, it’s simply not in the words I create.
As much as I love myself and have good self-esteem
As much as I’m different from the way that I seem
What if I’m actually presently who you take me for?
Never in relationships, really only wanted as a whore
What if that’s actually me and I’m just in a disguise
Hiding it from myself but plain to a stranger’s eyes
Okay, maybe that is why I fuck up all the time
(I even fucked up on a couple of these rhymes)
I wish to be told the things that people say about me
To know what they think, if it’s something they see
I’m trying to exist in my own little world here
Trying to eliminate the hate, and spear the fear.
It is said that the ultimate aim of art is to entertain and give joy.
Your poem gave me that feeling of “elation” to copy your word. Strangely enough, this piece entertains due to its rhythm and diction while it carries with it a tormented soul crying out in anguish. This is the dichotomy that strikes me the most.Ugly and bitter emotions are hidden beneath a cheerful style. There was a touch of sarcasm in your voice.
The poems’ mood is gloomy, sad and it sounds like an apology written to a beloved. But these expressions of disappointment are woven with a strong tone of anger. What I really perceive is a state of misapprehension, a total confusion. The poet is begging for an explanation as to why he/she has been through this experience of mistreatment while she /he doesn’t deserve. So, a sad mood mixed with an angry tone all intertwined with hurt feelings.
The rhyming couplet is the main feature that added the rhythmical beauty to the poem.
Actually, I admit that I like this poem, both, content and form.
I want to read more, keep writing.