Published September 25, 2005
Someday
I smile; I nod,
I say everything's okay.
Hoping I can get the courage,
To tell the truth someday.
You look deep in my eyes,
And still can't see my pain.
You say you need me for strength,
And everything will be okay someday.
I know you say you love me,
And that you'd do anything for me.
But you still abuse; I still cry,
And wait until someday finally arrives.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,399 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
I found it really boring. Sorry, but you used an over used topic with hackneyed expressions. You need something with more oomph, more originality. I can't really say I like this.
I don't exactly understand the final stanza, and it needs to be a bit clearer.
Overall, it's ok. Keep up the good work!
That one didn't ryme in the last two lines, and I think that needs improving. I didn't get any feeling of what you were trying to convey....